Friday, February 25, 2005
Scenario condensed with caffeine
Strange...nobody posted after pablo...Hel-loo?
Well, here's a new post. Oh, btw, how's the poem? Creativy runs wild when you're under pressure and in a time limit. Just like Calvin says, when asked how he does his homework: "last-minute panic."
This blog was written last night, when my body is saturated with caffeine and sugar, but my brain is already comatose.
What comes across a girl's mind when someone says to her, 'suki desu'? (I like you). In my own fatalist thinking, i could only imagine one outcome: the girl goes silent for a moment and says nothing to the guy. A few days later, the guy realizes that the girl had already dissed him off, avoiding him altogether.
Of course, you could extrapolate that the guy is me and the girl are one of the random girls of the past (i'm not a girl collector, mind you).
Let's break down the sequence, shall we? First, the moment she heard 'suki desu'. I guess her world practically fell apart. To hear someone said that is kinda mind-boggling, I guess. "Someone expressed himself for me, wow," or something like that kot. All kind of warm and fuzzy feeling comes a-flooding. Petals of flowers and rainbows, I presume.
Next on the sequence is looking at who said that. Guess what, it's a-me. Probably their world fell apart again, but for different reasons. Somehow, I could feel their dream shattered to bits. "Holy fuck, he said it?" was probably the closest of what they could think of. Of course, me being a fatalist, I'm a [insert fatalist thinking here]. So, go figure.
So we move on to the third sequence, the "avoid it like the plague" sequence. This one, IMO, is the most brutal, and heart-wrenching for me. It goes like this: the next day, I go and try to start small talk to the girl. No reply. Heck, she even turned the other way around. Ookay. I'll leave her alone and let her ruminate whatever she had today. Probably it's gas. Or worse, full moon rising. Next day, try the same approach and got the same treatment. I'm not that dense to figure out she hates me already.
Mind you, this is not about the girl in the previous blog entries. It's just some generic situation that I've condensed from countless events before. Because I usually encounter situations that similarly look like this, I've summarized it into the scenario above.
I hope Lase and Pablo could give some insight into this scenario. Plus, try imagining I'm saying 'suki desu' to you. What is your reaction? Let me hear about it.
(If my fatalist thinking got the best of me, I could almost smell the same reaction from both of you. And that's not good. Shit.)
Well, discuss about it over the weekend. I'm not gonna check to blog for the weekend 'cos I'm going to Kero-chan's for a Boy's Weekend Out. So, girls, go crazy in here.
Don't forget to clean up the mess after the party's over, okay?
[link dump]
http://www.superdickery.com/ - FUNNAY! COMEDY GOLD!
[/link dump]
Thursday, February 24, 2005
A poem
Holy shit, I've been in the CC for almost 3 hours. Meh, that's normal. :PPlus, been woefully nagged by pablo, a.k.a. "Mum". :pHere's a poem I made (during that 3 hours! Am I good or am I good? :P ). It's about counselors and the perfect world someone hides behind, oblivious to the realities, and refusing to go to a counselor.In A Perfect World
In a perfect world
There would be no crime in the streets
No dark thoughts in the mind
No one to shed the tears.
In a perfect world
No one will cry for help
No one would be in despair
No one needs a shoulder to cry
For there is no need at all.
Everyone is happy and everyone is merry
They even can use the word gay
Everyone laughs and everyone smiles
Everyone runs around brightly
For there are no worries at all.
Open your eyes and look at the reality!
The perfect world is just a fantasy
The real world is a guarantee
Don’t hide yourself in some cheesy movie.
From the smallest crime to earth-shattering disasters
From the inner self to the population at large
There will be people crying
There will be people in despair
And there will be
People who are ready to help.
There they are, ready for you
You only need to find them
They are your shoulder to cry on
They are the one you should talk to.
So stop living in that lie
A place where no truths live
Get out and seek them
For they are the ones who can help you
Regain your inner strength.Some self reminders. Y'all don't need to read this.-go read Slate!-Don't forget wakachan's pr0--er...imageboard.-Mintak central govt more funding! Chiss.http://meyerweb.com/eric/tools/s5/(stupid irony... I'm browsing spreadfirefox.com, using IE! Tak sempat DL firefox...)
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
So full of hate
[message to pablo at the end of blog]I am so full of hate today. I don't have the time to go around the bush and just go straight to the point. Oh, I'm having this massive headache, too. Head's throbbing, even the eyeballs feels pressured from behind. I know it means something...To re-iterate the obvious fact, I'm so full of hate. Why? Of course, a girl, what else. Oh, before that. Yesterday's psycho-babble of "is she gonna follow us?" turned out to be a big non-event. She didn't follow, she wasn't even in the equation. Go figure. Back to the hate. I've been hangging around with this girl. Not even tipped the scales in the Benchmark (and you know the Benchmark is the scaling system for me). She ain't my type. She's just a good companion to talk to. Plus, I'm still trying, trying, to get over [bleep], so I'm not into any fucking relationship for now. I don't want a fucking relationship, not even with this fucking girl.A good conversationalist, but fuck it, she's the one doing the talking. Blabber all she wants and I just sit there quietly. Even fucking tried to dispense her righteous godly stuff. If I want those, I'd follow the tabligh, instead of listening to her crap. But nevermind, a conversation's still a conversation. And remember, I don't want a relationship, fucker.And then this Monday I intentionally skipped the 10.30am class, just because. I did attend the other classes that day. Usually, the both of us always banter about burgers or some other foodstuff, considering it's Pasar Malam night. Well, she didn't even talk to me the whole day. It raised some questions inside me, but not yet the anger. Later that night I sms'ed her and she said that she was angry that I skipped class that morning, and forced me to promise coming to class the next day. Fine. So I came to class the next morning. Even bought some candies as a token of apology. And y'know what? She didn't fucking come to class. I'm slightly miffed at this turn of events, but still not angry. I told her 'mate to scold her on my behalf for not coming to class. I know she's sick and all. So that's that for that day.So it comes today. Saw her coming into class. I got the candies in my pocket, so I gave it to her. Put it on the table. And she doesn't fucking turn to look. Who the fuck are you, the Queen? I need to stand in front of you and curtsey? At least look at me and take note that I gave you the fucking candy. Now I'm already mega-miffed at this stupidity.And don't tell me that I'm the one who screwed-up this relationshit. Remember: I don't want a relationship, goddamnit! And also remember, she doesn't even tip the Benchmark! She's just friend, a conversationalist. Somebody to talk to. Does someone who fills that shoe has the right to diss me? Fuck, I really hate the way she talks, anyways. A freakin' know-it-all. Didn't somebody said, "shut the fuck up, and know your role"? Who the fuck are you to play the "cold shoulder" game? Somehow, I guess girls form a particular campus sucks. [bleep] was from that campus, so does her. And there are two other girls in my class who was from that campus, and both of them suck royally. I've heard bad stuff concerning girls from that campus. And I thought my girls from Melaka are bad. All I knew was that those girls have worse rep with each other. Good to each other at the surface, but poisonous behind each other.Ah, okay lah. Enough for today. Oh, Pablo: don't try to tell anybody else, okay? I'm really asking you to keep quiet. Keep Quiet.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Multiple psyche sucks.
[placeholder] Placeholder for a long blog coming up really soon. [/placeholder]
Well, I gotta type fast cos there's some weird configuration of the events tonight. And let me say: brrr.
The placeholder was supposed to be about the day that was my birthday, but suddenly it took the back seat for something else more important (and will be absofuckinglutely wierd, God willing) tonight.
Tonight's supposed to be the closing ceremony of the Cultural Fair in the main campus. Alah, y'know, the one where I spent my b'day in the hall recording the theater. THe one with the fiasco and stuff. I'll tell you later.
Of course my mak angkat's coming down, and she insisted to go there. The thing is, she gomes in the bus along with the theater group. So, no private transport for me. (Boys: wink wink, nudge nudge.)
So here comes a "supposed" solution: try to brickwall my face and ask to borrow my dude's car for tonight. I really, really hate to borrow the dude's car. I'm like, totally segan at him. who the hell am I to easily borrow his car?
So nevermind lah. I try to ask. Just a few minutes ago, I called him. I was at his house upstairs and saw him lepaking down at the trees with his classmates. Turns out, that he wants to go to DSB too (DSB = Dewan Sri Budiman. Not, HSB, although I welcome that, too).
Just like me, I could always sense the prawns behind the instant noodles. I asked, "who's coming along with you?". I just asked just for asking's sake. That's because somehow I can see [bleep] sitting along with them. Of course she has her own friends in the Melaka troupe. Of course she wants to see them too.
His answer? "Ntah la, probably somebody kot." I knew she's coming along too. SHIT! Aw crap. I couldn't, like, turn down my own request, or something. To back out just because I could sense that she might be coming along? Bullshit! Of course I could see the akward silence enveloping the car tonight, but who the fuck cares. Especially, who the fuck cares about her, anymore.
But to answer my own question, I'll ask more questions: Why the hell you still go ballistic at the mention, or even at the sight, of her? Ain't she's like, nobody, to you anymore? Why the hell are you squirmish even with the concept of her?
I know the answer. (shut up!) I know why are you like that. (you shut up!) You still like her. (NO!) You couldn't get her out of our mind. (I can too! Shut up!) Somehow, you couldn't get over her, not like the case with Ida. (No! Fuck no! All lies!) You still wish she could accept you, but now she doesn't, you're like a former shell of yourself. (FUCK YOU! SHUT UP! FUCK OFF!) Plus, you couldn't handle the sights of her anymore, so you just distance yourself, avoiding the hassle. (GET THE FUCK AWAY! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GET OUT!) But with tonight's event, it's a killer for you, eh? (...I...FUCK OFF, YOU SONUVABITCH....)
Why the hell you want to say all this? You're like, destroying yourself. Why couldn't you just shut up? Why do you had to bring all this up?
Why? Because I couldn't stand it anymore. All the stupid stresses. All the stupid avoidance. All this stupid shit that you still like her. Do you still like her?
NO,YOU STUPID FUCK. She has someone else. She don't need me anymore. I can find another. I have found another. She is still nothing to me.
But a mere mention of her, and you go haywire?
....
Is she like KakChik? Is is like Finie? Is she like Kimberly? Is she like any others you loved and cared all this time?
...Fuck off.
------------
Oi, both of you. Shut up!
Chiss, I couldn't believe both of them managed to get out and do some damage in this blog of mine. I'm sorry, people. You had to read all of this. These two are very damaging to my psyche. If you guys really do know what they did all along in my life, you'd like to say fuck you! too.
Sorry for all the obscenities. That's why I keep him on a very short leash. He's a sore loser, y'see. And his vocabulary only consists of cursewords. If only i could wash his mouth with detergent...
The other one pulak, he's like a natural born journalist, always asking the right questions to tick you off. He's quite useful on the field, but when he looks inside of me, holy shit, sparks and the occasional forest fire comes a-calling.
Time's up. I'm sorry, pablo, you had to read all of this. For the rest of you, I'm sorry too.
Monday, February 21, 2005
a comment that was a blog, or vice-versa
Holy crap, this is twice that I'm getting sleepy when I come to the CC. Maybe it has something to do with me still not recovering from the wild birthday day yesterday kot.
I had a long comment posted on the comment box. Yes, yes, I know it's that long. I should've posted as a new blog entry, but I was too sleepy to do it. Yet I still had the energy to type that long...
Well, here's a copy of comment:
"Happy Birthday to Kimurin!!"
Thank you for all those birthday wishes coming from all the homies (Lase, et al.)
Oh, I'd like to welcome a new reader, who's also one of my best homies, The Secretary General. Alas, the Sec.Gen is a bit overenthusiastic about his debut in here, he even posted in the wrong comment box.
Y'see, Mr Sec.Gen (that's your new nick), I'd like my blogsite visitors to adhere to some simple rules. Well, It's more like a guideline, a bit relaxed. I hope you stick to these "guidelines" and make your reading here a pleasant one, for you and for everyone else in syaoranblues.blogspot.com
1. Always post on the latest comment box, even if you want to comment something old. The latest comment box is always found at the topmost (recent) blogs. Click there, and comment away. (yesh, no tagboard yet! Wort, wort, wort!)
2. Try not to post your real name. TRY. as a winning rule of thumb, always post your nick. (so now you're The Secretary General). And try not to put your friend's name in here too. ^_^
3. Lighten up, willya? Even in real life, you turn into this stiff prick when you're lost in your thoughts. This here community is a free-wheelin', free-druggin', free-boozin' community with a bunch of lame hippies. Try to blend in. :D Relax.
I hope this guideline of mine didn't put you off from reading the blogs. It's just, you're too stuck-up. Loosen up.
Don't forget to read the rest of the blogs dating back to September 2004.
(this is a long comment. sorry.)
Yup, yup. Long enough.
Oh, still haven't updated about what I did on my birthday. Nanti la kot. Oh, I got a Nike baseball cap from my mak angkat (boys: you know who).
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Merajuk?
Today I did something stupid. Apparently, thinking back to the event, this shows that I still couldn't shake things off. It also shows that I am still a child, and act childishly. Nevertheless, I'm going to defend this action for today only, For I felt that was the right thing to do at the moment. The defense will quit by tomorrow.
Well, what did I do?
Well, I wanted to have lunch at the cafeteria that was a hunderd meters away from the main building (but still inside the faculty). The cafeteria was air-conditioned, plus the food was really cheap. I arrived in front of the cafeteria and was proceding to open the door, when I heard someone shouted "[bleep]" (you know who).
Of course, this was just someone having a very loud conversation in the cafeteria, and I should pay no attention to it. Instead, I just stood in front of the door, having a sense of dread. I knew that someting's gonna happen following that feeling. I hated it. Following standard ops procedure, I started sending out some sort of psychic sonar, trying to find out who's who in there.
[The psychic sonar thing? Oh, it's just a fancy name for this thing I do to get intel around the environment. Basically just straining the senses and catching faint sounds or images. Years at Langley well spent :P ]
So I found out that there's two tables occupied. The closest one are full of girls. The next table was a blur. I made an executive decision: just go in there and ignore them; get the food and just go. i went in. I make a beeline to the table far away from the occupied tables.
That was supposed to be my standard operational procedure. Scan the surroundings, make decision, get in, do operation, get out. Simple. Not this time.
I made another scan of the second table. Turns out that the Penthouse Boys are there. Phew. But wait, there's somebody else. Aw shit. A lady. And one particular lady likes to hang out with them, "[bleep]". And me in my childish mind, don't want to go to their table, basically feeling segan at the prospect of being at one table as her.
Mind you, I still haven't reached my table yet, let alone set down my bag and go take a look at the food. I'm still half-a-step away from my target table. All this happened in a split-second. Including what happened next.
Then one of the Penthouse Boys, Lampi (not his real name. Although it implies his operational status: Lambat Pickup. And no, I'm not ashamed of putting his nick in here. The reason to follow very soon.), he just waved his hand indicating that they're there (I just make an ignorant face as I walked in the cafe), plus he shouted my name in a sing-song way, trying to invite me to join them.
[This was my mindset at the moment.]
Like hell I would! She's there with them. I'm not just gonna waltz there and set my bag. I'm too segan at that. Plus, what's this asshole thinking? Then the rest of the boys look at me. She looked at me, and looked somewhere else. Fuck Lampi!
I just lift my hand saying hi, and then pointed to the food rack. I mouthed tapau, and just walked to the food rack, the bag still on my shoulders. I just looked at the food nonchalantly, but secretly looking at their table with anger. The food didn't look tasty anymore after that. I just walked out of the cafe, not even signalling anything to them. I had a final peek at them, and none of them paid any attention to me anymore. Fucking good. That's what I really wanted. I just walked out of the cafe, swearing and cursing.
Fuck Lampi! Why the hell did he do that? I was totally ashamed at that event. I'm too segan to even go near her, let alone look at her face anymore. It's not because of hatred. I'm really really segan of her. I don't hate her anymore. I just don't want to be associated with her anymore. I'm afraid she might lose face just by sharing the same table with me. I'm afraid I might lose face just by sharing the same table with her.
I walked out of the cafe, aimless. All I could do in that damaged moment was to swear my head off. I don't care if I disturb the nearby classes. I need to let go. And lose the anger. I really couldn't believe that really happened.
It was something truly unexpected. I really couldn't believe a thing like this could happen to me. All my CIA training didn't prepare me for the emotional stress. Dammit.
To put things short, I basically merajuk at Lampi, and by proxy, I'm merajuk at the Penthouse Boys. I didn't go up to the penthouse today, and I don't think I won't be going up there tonight. Come to think of it, they might not even feel a thing or notice that I'm not there. Fuck them.
Another thing that made me mad: the intonation of Lampi calling me, in the sing-song kinda way. What was he implying? Is he playing a game with me? Does he think I'm some sort of a joke? Does he think I'm amused at the intonation? Does he think I'm gonna accept the invitation like an obedient dog?
I went back home and tried to cool down. Thankfully I found a good book and that was a great distraction for me. Incidentally, I fell asleep reading the book, which is a good way to cool down my head.
And now, thinking back at the event, I'm ashamed of myself acting like a child. It does not really reflect the image of someone turning 23 years old in a few days. It feels like I'm five all over again. Stupidity rules.
Even though this is something that I should laugh it off, I still couldn't find the forgiveness in me. I could, could, forgive Lampi for his oh-so-chirpy invitation. He was surrounded by friends, so I guess he should act cheerful. Plus, he is Lambat Pickup, which could explain everything past present and future. Or I could forgive the rest of the Penthouse Boys. They didn't have anything to do with it. In fact, I thought I saw Také had an apologetic face when he looked at me, so that could mean something. Heck, I could forgive everyone and just let this silly thing slide away, like always.
But, until this day is over, I'm not gonna forgive anyone just yet. I'm still merajuk, and that's it. I'm not gonna go up the penthouse just yet. I'll let the things in my head cool down a bit. I'll forgive them tomorrow. But only tomorrow. For now just let me wallow in this new thing called merajuk.
Oh yeah, it's actually new to me. I've never merajuk (goddamn I don't know the english word for it. Must my my feeble mind.) ever in my life. Although my dad begs to differ. Pfft. I don't think I've never merajuk to the boys before. Well, they never do anything bad to me, that's a given. And frankly, I hate this emotion. Hating someone over some petty incident. Thankfully I've got lots of forgiveness ready to be dished out at a moment's notice.
And somehow, I'm guessing that's my weakness. Oh, yadda yadda yadda. Case closed.
Link dump! Lovin' this fanart page. :D
Damn, not another long post! Are you guys really reading these stuff or are you just in it for the First Post game??
[EDITUS REX:
More link dumps for me!
http://artbyfeng.com/
http://ningen.nattoli.net/
http://www.tv-tokyo.co.jp/anime/bleach/
http://www.j-bleach.com/
Oh..Forgot to tell you guys, I'm into vector-tracing right now. Granted, my first vector trace was a disaster, but I learned a lot.
And also, I'm into Bleach! now. God Damn I love Kuchiki Rukia. The anime rocks, btw. Fresh.
Oh, also: Naruto licensed in US. That means no more torrents from Animesuki. Didn't both of us saw this coming, Ibanez? To think we debated about this just recently...
END EDITUS REX.]
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Narutards and a distraught mind
Hiya dudes. Just got back from Rawang, spent the weekend at my aunt's. Thankfully I didn't do anything, which means I just sit there and do nothing and let the flies lay eggs on my body. Yes, gross.
Well, looking at the comment box (still no tagboard, muahaha!), there's this new reader the goes by the name "pablo". Welcome pablo, to this public corner of my mind, one of the rare places you'll ever see of me. Just behave yourself, and we'll get along juuust fine. This also brings my readership number to the total of five. Whee!
Hmm...there's supposed to be lots of stuff in my mind. So let me decompress here...
Ibanez commented that since Naruto and GS are showing in Malaysia, he wonders if the Narutards and fans of the emofag (that's Kira Yamato. I don't know what to call GS fans. But I love the word emofag.) will stop downloading the show. He wants to see how hypocrite people can be...
Well, people ARE fucking hypocrite to start with. I admit that I am a hypocrite at certain times. And c'mon, you people too, there are times in your life where you might think you're a hypocrite. But nevermind about that. I'm not here to diss myself or my friends. But I'm here to diss Malaysians and their hypocricity. And Ibanez, there's nothing we can do about them.
Back to the DLing issue. People (read: otaku) will continue downloading those shows and other shows as long as they like it. They want to have quick and quality entertainment, without forking out a single fucking cent. Remember what our Old Man said, "First Class Facilities, Third Class Mentality". Somehow, it reminded me of Kiasu-isms. Of course, comparisons of kiasuisms and downloading Naruto goes like comparing apples to oranges, but the spirit of "wanting it first" is still there.
Of course people (again, read: otaku) download fresh series from animesuki or whatever because they like the series and they want to see it firsthand. That's why there's fansubs and animesuki. Plus there's the expanding nature of technology, which enables them to download it fresh from the fansub's oven (or fresh from Japan, if they're too otaku or desperate. But that's another matter).
But, there is also the mindset where they download it just for the fact that they can. They download it because they can brag to their fellow otakus that "zOMG! I got to see naruto first than you geeks who watch it on teevee!" or something. They might also download it because they want to collect it, ignoring the fact that they can collect it easily (and legally) once the series is sold in Malaysia. But then again, are the series sold in Malaysia that good?
Which means we have to touch a bit on quality. Is the quality that good, compared to fansubs? Blablabla, blablabla? Blablabla, blablabla? Blablabla, blablabla? Blablabla, blablabla? Blablabla, blablabla?
(Actually, there's a whole lots of questions regarding this and regarding the bigger matter. But I don't want to type any of it, fearing it might skewer me to a well established faction. I don't want to be associated with a faction. I'm a free agent, dude. Plus, i got lazy.)
Ignoring what I've said up there, people will download it. Hence they are a bunch of hypocrites. Even though it's on TV, they'll still download it. Heck, aside from everything else on TV, that damn Naruto is still ongoing in Japan. Narutards will be Narutards, Ibanez. Live with it. I guess i haven't answered that opinion of yours.
Ah, to hell with all those.
Next on Grasshopper Dreams: A Distraught Mind.
Right after these messages from our sponsors.
Goddamn muthafucker this fucking mouse is teh shit! It's optical, but it don't respond good enough! I had to resort to keyboard shortcuts, and I had accidentally closed some tabs! Grandma-fucking mouse! I should've sticked to the other PC, not this one.
And this goddamn CC is fucking infested with mosquitoes! Dengue's on the rise here, people, and you don't even care about any of this? I'm gonna type as fast as I could and just run out.
And now, back to Grasshopper Dreams.
We now bring you A Distraught Mind.
All along this week, I feel like I'm lacking something. There's the feeling of loss, and longing. In fact, I couldn't get my act straight. Heck, I've started smoking back again. Of course I've stopped now. Didn't even finish the last two sticks of cigs and I've thrown the box away.
I thought I could clear my mind by travelling. Travelling always help. Went to Segamat. Did some menial jobs. Love the town. Really. But as I came back home, I'm not as near to an eased mind. Then another travel chance popped up. Rawang. Heck, I don't mind. I even get free food. But nothing again.
Lots of stuff popping in and out for over two weeks. One of them are the girls I loved before. It listed out the names of the girls, even went an extra mile and showed me the film reels of the girls. Painful, I tell ya.
(goddamn it I'm getting very itchy. Type it out fast, goddammit!)
(Yes, but I have to sacrifice the integrity of the blog and all..)
(who the fuck cares!? Let's wrap it up!)
I come to think, that maybe this behavior happened before. So I reviewed the mental films, and found a connection.
It's almost February the 14th, Valentine's day. Oh god. the day where young stupid malaysians worship that dead saint from Italy and worship that naked baby angel who doesn't have a license to operate that bow and arrow. And he's a lousy shot, too. Motherfucker.
I ignored that date. I know I hated Valentine's day. So this is not the cause. I just moved forward in the dates, and saw the root cause:
20th February. 2005. The day I turn 23 years old. Shit!
I knew I'd felt this emotion before! It's the "whine before the birthday" session. I whine and bitch all I want, without realizing that my birthday's 'round the corner. I whine about my past, my present and my future. What did I do in the past year? What is happening to me now? Where am I going next year?
Those questions seems unanswered. It's hard to answer it. Maybe I got lazy. Or maybe there's no real answer to be found. But one thing is clear to me. I can only find the answer in myself. I have to self-explore to find it. And exploring the self is not a short-term task. It's a real lost city in that thick head of yours. And you're gonna spend your life looking for it.
Holy shit this is a long fucking post! Jya ne!
Monday, February 07, 2005
CNY wishes and other news
Image CGed by Lase and drawn by Lase's friend who I don't really know.
Well, GongXiFaChai for for my readers who think he or she should celebrate this new year celebration. I'd celebrate it, but alas, it's not my celebration for me to celebrate. But who the frelck cares. I'm gonna celebrate is like it's mine. :P
Meh, a few parsecs ago, I was arguing the word "cute" with Lase herself. I forgot the meat of the argument, but it settled amiacably. :p
Erm, okay, now I'm gonna settle down and start blogging like there's no tomorrow. (Actually, there's a pasar malam just outside of the CC and it's really tempting...)
Gundam Seed on TV2: Oh yeah, people. I don't know if you people know it, but Gundam Seed is officially on Malaysian TV. I guess it took over the DBGT timeslot. (Thank god the horrid show is gone.) It's at 9.30am Sunday. And of course it's dubbed. But somehow the dub's kinda okay. Shin-chan's mum played Captain Ramiasu, if I remember correctly.
To tell ya the truth, I'm actually pro-dub when it comes to anime in Malaysia. At least it gives a chance for anime to flourish in Malaysia. Of course when I mean flourish I'm not looking at the anime dvd market that Malaysia has enjoyed so much. I'm looking forward for the time where new anime (and good) anime is well-known among the regular tv viewers, and not just the dvd-enabled consumer. I just wish that more anime comes to Malaysia. And I don't care if it's dubbed.
Kudos for TV2 for bringing Gundam Seed into the air. Somehow, I wished that TV3 should've been the one who picked it up, but I guess they're having their hands full with Detective Conan and Naruto (303 and 119 respectively, and both still ongoing.) Whatever which TV station or whatever anime titles that gets shown on TV, I'll be rooting for it.
Just as long as they don't do horrible edits on it. (Hollywood Mew Mew? CardcaptorSSS??)
Next on the news is...
I was broke: Hell yeah I was broke. No money in my pocket. Plus it was the start of the weekend. I couldn't have anything good to eat. I tried skimping my meals. Ate thosai for brunch/lunch, hoping that it could stave off the hunger. It didn't It's just ultra-thin pancake fer crying out loud! It's not a good energy-food!
So with my last pocket money, I bought wholemeal bread (they say it converts into energy much slower, which is a good thing), some kaya, and a pack of instant ramen for my weekend food. Thankfully I had my head overwhelmed with food, which is a good thing. So I just focused on work, and until the hunger pangs hit, I just ate the bread with kaya. Pa-thetic.
Yesh, yesh. I did call the Central Government up north. They'll send money on Monday. And now I got some money, so now I could guiltlessly burn it on pasar malam grub. Heh heh.
Oh come on, I'm not that stupid.
Upcoming boredom this CNY: Of course it's CNY, it means that most of the stores are gonna close up for the holidays. And some say, until Sunday. Which could only mean that boredom's gonna set in indefinitely.
But I guess I'm okay with it. I'm used to the skull-numbing boredom before. Of course not at a timeframe this long, but I could live. There's always some sort of savior in the horizon, mind you. There's always my relatives all around. I could just go there and just live off the free food until school reopens. Or there's Malacca, where I could just run down south and wreak havoc.
But I digress. I'd rather face boredom than doing illegal stuff.
Argh, the pasar malam tentacles are gripping at my ankles already! I couldn't help it anymore! Help! Helpp..........
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Censorship Rules!
Would'ya believe it that I've censored some stuff in my blogs? If you look back at some posts, you'll notice the [BLEEP] sign all over the blog. I've censored stuff to protect names and places.
Big question is: WHY?
Because I'm gonna go public with this blog, starting with a classroom presentation! Or somethin' like that.
Yesh, I don't want people to read those stuffs. I guess it's better for me to censor it. Even if people do know about those stuff, they won't go any further. Besides, I guess it's time for this blog to go public, ne?
Another reason for me to delete those stuff is because, it's the past. Get over it. Stuff happens for a reason. And I blog those stuff here. When time has passed by, you think to yourself, "why the hell am I keeping this stuff?"
I have a tendency to chuck things out when it gets too old. Useless things that have no more importance wahtsoever is thrown away. My old excercise books from primary school? Why keep that junk? Recycle it. That old watch that stopped working 5 years ago? Throw it away. This old PC mouse? Do you have any use for it?
Before actually throwing stuff away, there are a few questions that must be asked. Do you have any use for it? Could it be re-used? Does this thing have any [political/social/economic] importance to it? If any answer to these questions (and more questions) are of the negative-type, I chuck it right away.
Are there anything that I don't throw away? Huh? Whaddaya think I am, Inhuman? (wait, don't answer that.)
Of course there are stuff I don't throw away. Old pictures (the olddest picture of me that I had was when I'm 2 years old. Cute.), Some good stuff, some books (make that most books. Some of 'em cost more than 150 bucks. Valuable to tha core.), and some other good stuff.
Back to the now-censored blog. Now that I've deleted some stuff, won't I miss 'em? Well, some of them deserved to be deleted, while others... Well, let's just say I still have them in my cranium.
So, are you going on with the public-listing of this blog? Of course I am. I didn't waste time deleting stuff just to leave this blog to my 4 loyal readers. Promote this blog, a-holes!
Dammit, somehow somewhere inside of me, I'm gonna regret this decision. But I'm just gonna bite my lips and just see things through. I guess this strange decision might be affected by me smoking a pack of cigarettes today.
GASP! YOU SMOKED? NOW?!
Yes, and I haven't smoked in a looong time, I tell you. And no, I'm not a chain smoker like the penthouse boys. I only smoke when feel something wrong in my gut. And yes, I will only smoke this one pack, and will stop smoking for the rest of the year. That is a true promise from my heart. You guys have gotten mad at me before when I smoke, and I thank you for that. It means you guys are concerned for me. Thank you. You guys should also know that I only smoked once per year. And one pack per year. I promise I won't smoke again.
Well, I've reached the end of today's blog. I guess I'm gonna go smoke one now. Sore Ja.
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