Thursday, October 14, 2004
I couldn't say goodbye...
Today my plan was that I was supposed to go to Multimedia University, Melaka Campus (MMU); my old Alma Mater, just for the sake of saying goodbye. It didn't work out. It even failed miserably.[From dictionary.com: alma mater, n. 1. The school,college or university one has attended.]
It was a split-decision plan concocted yesterday. I thought that I didn't have any exam paper today, and besides, Ramadan's coming to town. I guess it would be a great day to say goodbye to my past. It turns out that I do have a paper today. I didn't properly check the exam timetable. Sadly, the plan had to be scrapped. Stupid me for not checking the timetable properly.
The thing is, I feel that I need to say goodbye to MMU. I spent 2000-2003 there. It was the place that I grew up as a man. I had a lot of memories there, both good and bad. Lifelong friendships forged, love found and lost, enemies and peers come and go.
I've been dreaming of the campus for a few days now. It was my past, and I need to close that chapter of my life. I have to move on, and to do that, I have to say goodbye.
I imagine walking through its hollowed halls. The climb up the stairs, the air of acedemia, the flurry of students walking around, the breeze through the field, the coldness of the computer labs, the dizzying heights of the hostels, the serenity of the mosque, the tall ceilings of the CLC, the rooftops of the faculty buildings, and the peak of Bear Hill.
I am moving away, and I want to close that chapter.
But, as someone said to me, if there's no proper goodbyes, it'll be likely to see it again.
Probably in the future, I might attend MMU once again. Maybe not as a student, but as a teacher or something. There are no certainties for the future, but it will come anyway. And I'm ready for it.
Yeah, I know that I can just go to MMU later, after my break, or even next year, but it will not be the same. I am (probably) leaving Melaka. I am most likely to go to Shah Alam. If I do it later, it does not mean that I have closed the chapter. It only means a visit to MMU, not closing a chapter.
Jeez, I'm too melodramatic when it comes to this. Luckily people never see me in Real Life. I could just go on about it. If people only knew how much I love the campus....
Gtg. I'm getting dizzy. I need to relax before my Literature exam (which is a cheesecake for me. Confirm A.)
Fuyoh, confident dapat A. Oh, and apasal nak close the chapter of your life. Our life is like an open book. The chapters must remain for the whole book to be interesting.