Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Of tiredness, gaming, and prayers

Haven't blogged in a while, and I guess now's a good time to blog a new one.

So here I am, using my bro's laptop in the dark. Damn, those typos sure pop up more often than usual. maybe because it's 1am right now. Well, 1am can still be considered 'young' by my standards. But then again, when you're bored as hell, you're prone to get sleepy.

Which is weird, because I had good afternoon sleep tadi, blatantly ignoring lunchtime. Why? I guess I was too tired. Emec and I went for a swim at Sg. Batu Pahat, around 14km or so from Kangar. I guess we were tired after all that. And maybe the tiredness still carries on until now.... I'll try to wrap up whatever's in my head ASAP.

My gaming world's kinda so-so nowadays. I'm still struggling to finish Resident Evil 4, and the progress was hampered by stuttering cutscenes in the game. It's the DVD's fault. I take Emec's later. To add insult, Emec already finished the game. This is why I struggled to finish the game. :p

I've been praying to my Princess and her mother lately. She needs all the support she can get, and this is the best I give as support. I'd prefer being right next to her, but I just can't. Sigh.

I always feel like she's the angel sent from heaven to watch over me. Now, I want to pay her back, by taking care of her. I'll give all the support I can give, and pray for her.

Frankly, this is the weirdest holiday I ever had. Emotional turmoil is the main dish. But, all can't be about sad stuff, kan? Of course there's fun things that I had these past few days, but (oh, I know she's gonna strangle me over this), I have this nagging feeling of guilt; why the hell should I have fun, while she's not?

But I know, when we'll get back together, we'll have all the fun, together. We'll go urban exploring together. Who knows, maybe we'll go to Melaka and see Lase after all. All this can be achieved. In the future. That's assured. But for now, just stick with the present. Work out your present state. Don't over-think it.

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Somehow, I wonder, am I a good supporter?

I want to be by her side, to give her support. To love her. To give her strength. But she's thousands of miles away from me. I can only give her support over the phone. I can't hug her. I can't hold her hands. I can't be the shoulder for her to cry on. I can only hear her cry over the phone.

Dammit, why does it have to be like this? I know this is a test from Allah. But for whom the test is for? Me? Or my Princess? What do You want from this test? Sigh...

All I can give her is support over the phone.

RLC. RLC. RLC. Forever.