Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Family cat and selfishness
Emec and company came to my house last night for some gaming-and-supper. They had my mom's Bihun Sup. Praises all over from them for my mom. Heh. And apparently, Emec has a liking to the family cat, Jack. Boys and cats... :p
.......................
I want to say "I love you" to her. I want to tell her I miss her so much. I want to hold her hands, I want to smell her sweet scent of her hair. I want to touch her soft cheeks, and feel her warmth.
But I can't. Even though she's a phonecall away, I can't just do that. She's having fun, or as they say, "having the shits and giggles." And it's a good thing. She's having fun, and I don't want her to have anything else. I know what it's like to be in the company of friends. The literal "shits and giggles." Even that phrase can evoke a smile. :p You can just feel the fun from being in the company. I understand.
Because of that understanding, sometimes I'm angry at myself. Why? Because sometimes I feel selfish. I feel like I want her all for myself. I don't want her to have a good time with her friends, I want her to be by my side. Dammit, I hate this selfish feeling.
Thankfully I am successful in quelling this feeling. This is the worst feeling someone should have, and I am proud to say that I can control this feeling. I try to put myself in her shoes, and I know she deserves a whole lotta fun and giggles. :)
I guess why this selfishness floats might be because of not being near her, not being with her. Every sunrise reminds me of her, every beat of my heart only calls out her name. Man, I hate being selfish. :p It stinks.
I hope my princess is having the time of her life with her girls. This is her moment to shine in the sun. I bet she's glowing from the laughter her friends provide. I bet she's having one helluva tummy ache trying to keep the giggles from exploding out her tummy. I bet she's smiling. She always look beautiful when she smiles. I know.
In other news, Happy Deepavali, people. Go light up a firework or two. And Raya is around the corner too. The usual stuff will come. Oh, the booze count is up by one box. Oh yeah.
But somehow this year's raya is a bit of a downer. Yes, I have friends, I have my family, but I don't have my love near me. But all will be okay come 6th of November.
Ah.. me eyes are getting tired. Time to sign off.
Sigh.... I love you, sayang.
RLC.
Someone is possessive. XD Don't worry we all know how much you love your sayang.
*enter evil mode*
Which is good cos then all the bishies will be mine MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH~!!!!!!
*exit evil mode*
Chelamat Ari Raye~!!!
Oh, and sumimasen long time tak visit blog. Was on YM too much but you knew that >_<