Monday, October 03, 2005
Bright lights and her smile
It's past midnight and I'm still up. It's been a journey of roller-coaster proportions, more of the emotional standpoint than the physical. I'm writing this on my rommie's PC. I just want unload; try to write everything that I have written down on my phone, my only notepad.
About the roller-coaster, I can't say much about it. It was a three-day journey, full of ups and downs. Mostly it was up, but the downs are painful too.
Okay, next business. Tonight, Giant invited me to follow him to Putrajaya to see his mom. I was in a contemplating mood so followed him. I never thought a simple trip would mean me looking back at my life.
As we were on the highway, the lights from buildings faraway shines, and I was hypnotized by it. It made me wonder about a lot of things, especially about my relationship. I know I love her. But why am I prone to make stupid mistakes over and over again? "I feel guilty making her cry," I said to myself as I looked at the city lights.
Putrajaya was a nice sight at night. The bright lights make it look like an oasis in the middle of the palm-oil tree desert. Again the lights mesmerize me. But all I could think of is her. How is she doing? Is she okay? God, I love her. My face turned into a half-stare. Eyes half-closed, mouth half open, and the body shivering. Now I know what she feels like at the bus stop earlier tonight. Now I know how her face feels.
As the car drove by the magnificent buildings, I wondered about her. How is she doing? How is she holding up? What is she doing now? How's her feeling? But the biggest thing that I wondered was, "what's her view right now?" I'm looking at magnificent buildings and bright lights. We love to see these kind of things together. I guess I was feeling lonely and I missed her, for she was not by my side as we drove by the lights.
After meeting Giant's mom, we headed out back. Suddenly, I wanted to see something. "Dude, can we go to the airport? I just wanna have a look." Thankfully Giant was accommodating, and he drove to KLIA.
As we passed by the terminal, I saw some planes parked by the terminal. I was like a little kid, mesmerized by those big aeroplanes. But at the same time, a tear was flowing down my cheek. I didn't realize I cried. And I don't know why. I could guess that it might be something that will happen soon, and I am dreading it. Again, my thoughts are turned to her as we made the final lap around the terminal.
I love her so much, and I would give everything in the world to make her smile again.
We got back to Shah Alam around midnight, and here I am trying to write it all down. It's way past my bedtime, and I'm thinking that I want to come a bit late to class tomorrow. Maybe, just maybe.
Addendum:
Haiya si Lase nih... Ada ka Tesco. TESCO! Well, of course la Sushi King.. We'll call you when we get the real chance. For now, don't cry. :p
class was cancelled.
:p