Grasshopper Dreams 2.0

Car metaphors

2009-09-19T20:59:00.003+08:00

Imagine a car battery strapped to this blog, in an attempt to restart it after a long period of dormancy.

Let's take a look at the metaphorical spark plug. The plug head is covered in carbon. Time to change the spark plug and give this blog a good kick-start.

Change is depressing and sad, but change is inevitable. Change the spark plug, restart the car. I owe it to myself to make this blog running again. I need this car up and running again, for myself.

I started to write long ago for a reason. I stopped writing for another reason. Now I need to start writing for a new reason.

I'll be back writing. I'll be back.

Six months

2008-04-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

October the 2nd and May the 1st is a long time in between. The blog was abandoned, in order to pursue things more important. October, November, December, January, February, March, April. Six whole months. And I was afraid Blogger might have deleted the account already.

Saying six months flew by without nothing is a big bullshit, I agree. Things happen in those months, although I have to admit that October to the end December was a big blank to me. Yet, January to the end of March marked the best months of my university life.

Definitely, the blog will not be forgotten. But for now, the drive to write is lost. Next time.

Come and Gone...

2007-10-02T18:23:00.000+08:00

It's been almost 5 months since the last blog update. I've not kept up blogging. The semester's been killing us.

We took a hell of a beating this semester. I don't mind the coursework, because it is expected of being in a university. But still, the workload does take the wind outta ya.

By this time, I'd talk about my relationship. But this time, let's not. Suffice for me to say, that relationships have their ups and downs. Happy to say that the ups are more than the downs.

Oh, this is way long overdue: I've got my own laptop. it's a Compaq Presario. Fairly old by computing standards, but this baby is my pride and joy. A Turion 64 X2 processor, it can shoot its rivals in the faculty clean. Dual boot with Vista too. It makes me smile seeing people's reaction to my rig. Best of all, this is my own computer with my own computing style. I'm no more tied up by other people's style. I won't be fed up with dealing with their settings or their virus-farms. I have my own browser (with my own bookmarks), my own processing power, my own place to save my files.

Enough of that. What I wanted to say was that the semester's almost gone. We're at the tail-end of the semester. The Raya's coming up next week, and after that, the exams. And then, the Practicum.

Better save that topic for later.

Another short one in the bin.

happy birthday!

2007-05-25T18:51:00.001+08:00

Humor & Enthusiasm

2007-03-03T13:08:00.000+08:00

Should you laugh along with God's humor?

I asked that question when I was at the recieving end of a cosmic joke. I was looking forward for a swim in the public pool today. I had found out earlier that the pool was going to open on the 1st, after some time of closure.

So when I do actually reach the pool, it's actually closed? Aih...

Chalk it up to over-ripe enthusiasm. It's my weakness. If my enthusiasm gets the better of me, somehow the results will turn for the worse. That's why people who know me personally see me as very laid back and have a lack of enthusiasm. Because I don't want anything to go to hell. :(

In other news, we're going to GACC. Yep, yep. Have to save money till then. But then again, what to buy over there?

Tough times

2007-02-26T13:38:00.000+08:00

Haven't logged online in a long time, and the initial experience was like this: WTF!? APASAL SUSAH NAK LOGIN BLOGGER NIH!? Apparently the same experience was faced by Lase in her entry, Stupid blogger + headache.

Suffice to say, I had a few hair-pulling minutes before I got it figured out. Aih, why the hell it had to be like this.. Never mind la.

Thank you Pablo for the birthday wish. And also to the rest of my friends who wished me the best.

As for myself, I'm having a hard week ahead. No, it's not about work. Emotions are running wild. And I have to be the anchor of it all. I'm trying my best to weather it, but sometimes the devil will inject some uncertainties in my head. Times like that, I am so weak, I don;t know if I'm able to be the anchor.

But when I put my mind into it, I know I can. All I have to be is to be strong. And by extension, I have to have a stone heart. The very stone heart that I boasted to have long ago, that was melted by love. Now I have to rely on that stone heart.

At the same time, it is also a time of learning. The lessons I have recieved, as always, painful to swallow, but will be etched in my mind as powerful lessons.

Tough times ahead, indeed.

"I Understand"

2007-01-20T20:17:00.000+08:00

I've had that phrase during my MMU days. It's an innocent phrase, a good one too. But lately I've been using it in my daily life more often. It's a part of my anger-management shtick.

I have to understand. Understand the problems of this. Understand that. Can't get angry over this, 'cause you have to understand.

Sometimes I just want to scream, I don't want to understand and do nothing. I've had it internalizing my anger. But society doesn't want screamers. I don't want myself to scream. So I keep quiet.

Looking back at the above paragraphs, I sound silly. I so want to delete them, and write up something nice, something with more fluff. I'm losing my edge here. Can't write to save my life. Save my life...

Then I just look beside me. There she is, all pink and bright. Not even the rain can dampen her wild spirits. And that very wild spirit can and will put down my raging anger. Yes, sometimes she gets on my nerves, but who else can laugh about it and then apologise with a kiss to the cheek? There is no-one in this world who tells me I'm gonna be a saint just by being with her. No-one else would touch and caress me when I am fi-

...this is going to sound weird. We were looking for bad songs for our creative writing class. One song we found just a minute ago was.. "can I touch you there".. Now that's awkward.

Guess I should delete the whole entry now?

p.s.: You Don't know Jack Schitt!

Sock Buddies!

2006-12-26T12:30:00.000+08:00

Kitties and Cameraphones

2006-12-23T03:36:00.000+08:00

I just can't decide on a good opening sentence. How about I dish up some pictures first? That would help.

Jilat and bro

Jilat doin' his thing..

Cute pose from Jilat

Blue contemplating (for the kill?)

Oh, the pics were taken on my brand-spanking new Nokia 6020. I've always been a Nokia guy, no matter what. Yeah, I've heard the word on the streets, and also the recommendations from the people. But in the end, it's still recommendations, I take their words and process it, and in the end, I made an educated decision. Thus, this phone.

[late edit] I could get any other brand. But some phones are too expensive, others are just meh. I loathe the motorola keypads (razr and slvr are prime suspects) Sony-E phones are just damn mahal. Other brands? NO!

I like it. It got camera. (d'oh!) Beside that, nothing else. Nevermind, the camera's the important part. I don't mind it's just VGA, and not megapixel-ish, as long i can snap, i'm happy. I also made my own personalized theme (wallpaper and background, also ringtone and sms tone] using downloaded Nokia apps. The theme? My Sayang, of course.

[it's not spanking new. You had it for almost a week already. :p ]

[I don't see a pic of you yet.]

[happy?]

Thinking back, I could've get a clamshell or a slider. I didn't, because of the usual suspects (budget, but hey, I'm happy), In the end, I just don't like other designs. Clamshells are good looking in a Queer-Eye kinda way, and I have to admit, seeing the clamshells in action in almost all TV shows kinda got me hooked. ["the terrorists are in that building? I'm on it! *shut!*]. And don't get me started on sliders. Then again, what beef do I have against sliders?

It all comes into the mechanical aspect. The hinges of the clamshells might wear off after extended use. I mean, what would your fingers do if they're fingering the phone? You'd snap them open-and-shut. Sliders? About the same excuse too la.

At the end of the day, all things (phones especially) are prone to breakdowns. There's no such thing as that thing will work properly after an extended usage. Things have their shelf life. Everything does. But the actual point is that, we should enjoy the time we have, and not dwell on the future that might/might not be. Enjoy. And in the meantime, take care of it. If you don't, your time will be taken from you. So enjoy, and take care.

Yeesh, a bit philosophical i see? And that's coming from someone who "doesn't have anything to blog about."

[tldr; this is a post at late-night. So it's a sub-par post, imho.]

Oh yeah, National news. Big Whoa on the floods in the south. I've seen the footage of Segamat, but I wonder about other towns. Frankly, I never had an attachment to Johor much. Aside from the fact that Dad comes from Johor, nothing else hooks me. I'm lacking my Johor travels. I've been to JB once (twice, but I don't remember my childhood well). I have been to Segamat a few years back, so I kinda remember the place. That's why when there's a footage of Segamat, i searched for familiar landmarks. No such luck. Oh well.

My prayers are with the families of the flood victims. As Kangar was flooded last year (around this time), we had a tough time. Cleanup's a bitch. Thankfully, the flood wasn't that deep as Segamat's, so I could only imagine what it's like over there.

Replies:

pablo: above is the weekly photo report of my hair. It's getting long. And I'm deathly afraid of the soon-to-be afro phase. Guess now it's a good time to invest in a good Songkok...

Lase: Good singing voice you have. I was kinda terkejut hearing a disembodied voice coming out from the speakers, then I remember you wanted to put your singing. But I think it would be better to put play controls, so you can play/stop at a push of a button. Just a suggestion.

I'm no Paul Moss, so I'll spare the douchebag remarks. You won't win any awards, but you do have a lovely singing voice. Work on it, and we'll negotiate something in the future. ;)

And no, you don't need earplugs. I just have to remind myself to turn down the speakers. Remember kids, sudden voices in the middle of the night + dimly lit room = I soiled myself. So remember to use the volume control, kids!

Final word, you have a lovely singing voice. Totally unexpected.

Sayang: I love you! I miss you! RLC!

Ntah

2006-12-11T11:41:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog about something... But it seems that things have turned out for the better. Instead, here's a link for Pabs. She'd like it.

http://www.canongate.net/Lists/Words/33NamesOfThingsYouNeverKne
http://www.wonderfulinfo.com/amazing/building.htm
http://www.flickr.com/photos/claudiolara/317059342/

Replies and thoughts

2006-12-03T23:50:00.001+08:00

D'oh! Now I remember what to do: I want to reply.

Lase: Yeah, we wanted to call you when we get to Sunway Pyramid. But we were worried that we'd kacau you if we called. Also, whenever we thought of calling you, we got no credit. Life sucks, ne?

Ok lah, next time we're at Pyramid, we'll give you a call. Say, how long you're gonna be there? You never tell...

Pabs: I've emailed you the recent pics. Later I'll photoshop and upload it into blogger.

Sayang: Hugs hugs hugs kiss! I love you! Kiss the finger..

Looking at Lase's blog: Good luck, Lase, on the exams. On the topic of losing touch.. I know how you feel. Being away from it all, one would feel empty inside. My life revolved around anime. The formation of EMiNA is the rumination of it all. If possible, I would like to keep in the loop nevermind if it's just minor.

But the actual point is moving on. Life goes on, they say. Don't dwell on the past too long. I believe in that.

One thing is for sure: My love for Sayang is limitless. You can't put into words this sort of thing. You got to experience it. You got to experience love. My life with Cherane is Love. I love you, sayang.

RLC

I'm still alive, I guess

2006-12-03T22:59:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a week since I'm home, and I haven't blogged anything. Chalk it up to the usual suspects.

When the moment I heard about the accident, my heart was racing, and I cursed myself for being irresponsible. Never again. Thankfully she's alright. Never again I'll be irresponsible. I'd rather cut my whole arm if I did it again.

Oh yeah. I'm bald. I sheared off my top to get the football field look. Just because. I wanted to reset my 'do.

Aiya.. Not much to blog about la. Geez, teruk la.

Self note:

Fingers on the Keyboard

2006-11-24T15:47:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I blogged properly. One could attribute it to a number of factors. The most popular would be procrastination, and the devil M.

Right now I just want to blog. There's a bit of a feeling welling up inside me, and I want to let it out.

Pabs is going to fly off on Tuesday. And I'm going back on Sunday morning. All this is finalized so there's no point in arguing or talking about it. But what I want to let it out is the feeling of sadness. Sad that Pabs is going home, sad that I'm we won't be together for a month. Just sad.

On the last raya holiday, I can cope of being apart from Pabs. I'm okay with that fact. Then why the hell am I not okay with it this time?

The truth is, my dear, is that you're actually okay with all of this. You just want to express your welled-up feelings.

True. I am okay with all of this. We've had numerous arguments about this, and she's helped me preparing for the day. And yes, I do want to express my welled-up feelings.

...

I have to say, I enjoyed the year that we had together. Facing the challenges head on, getting into arguments and then making up, doing activities, and falling in love over and over again.

Seeing that cute face smile, it just melts my heart away. Listening to her laugh is like music from heaven itself. She is the best thing that happened to me.

Earlier today, I was at Sunway Pyramid doing some scouting. As scouting expeditions go, I prefer to do it alone. Because it's "scouting", not "dating". So there I was, scouting. I decided to take a break and just sit. The emptiness beside me was so powerful. I couldn't stand the fact that she was not beside me. I ran back home to see her. Sorry to say, I disturbed her sleep. Sorry sayang. But seeing her again was worth it.

It got me thinking, can I cope being apart from her during the holidays? Again, the answer is yes. I am prepared, and I am okay with the fact she's away from me.

I chuckled, thinking when the time she reads this. She'd get mad at me, saying that we've had this argument before. Yeah, I'm sorry sayang. That's just me, Mr Long-Winded Conclusion. Really, I need to break that habit.

...

The weather in Shah Alam sucks. (I actually don't know how to elaborate that statement. I think it sums it up nicely.) It always goes like this: a very bright and beautiful morning, and immediately followed by a big-ass thick, dark cloud, which in turns creates on hell of a thunderstrom. DAILY. Like clockwork. I actually have given up on doing anything past 3pm, because it will definitely rain. With thunderstorms.

Right now, outside, it's raining so heavily, I think I want to patent the tagline "Raining Anvils".

The thunders and lightnings ain't something to be happy about. But sometimes, I smile when thunder/lightning strikes, because there will be someone who'll be afraid of it. I know it's horrible to think that way. I am sorry. But to me, that person is an asshole, and an asshole gets what an asshole deserves.

(Yes, I am an asshole too, and I too get what I deserve. For that, I am repentant. I just hope that the other assholes repent too. But I guess their head is in their ass far too deep and too long to realize they're assholes to repent. Sigh.)

...

On to the economic report. The economic summary of my life for the fiscal year 2006: dead broke. More money goes out than it goes in. The budget always run amok, even though I tried to wrangle it. Maybe I should ditch the flimsy string I've been using to wrangle it, and maybe start using the thick rope. It will hurt me, but it will keep the raging bronco controlled. Oh, I don't know.

I've decided to start working next year. I know work sucks, but I'll keep the motivation in my sight. The motivation? Money. I think it is a good motivation.

...

I don't know what else to talk about. My anger, my sadness, all dissipate away once I touched the keyboard. The only thing left in me is the vision of my love. I see her smile and laugh. I can feel her touch. I can feel her tight hug. I love her.

I love her so much.

POST it NOTE

2006-11-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

Half an IFTDO

2006-09-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

Luckily I've been a bit typy (mutation of chatty), and I've just finished typing one helluva email, and I still have a bit of typing energy, so why not use the remainder of the energy to blog? True, true.

Before i start blogging proper, I tought of myself, where did this energy come from? I looked at case studies, and I saw that I write a lot when I'm angry... Some sort of anger management, methinks. So what happened? Nothing happened, nothing I would reveal anyway. But damn, this is good writing energy.

Okay, let's start blogging! Topics are:
IFTDO
post-IFTDO shenenigans
VC cup
My Love (always)

IFTDO
Let's just list out the hightlights of IFTDO first, in no particular order: face2face with PM, ambushed by Dr.M, lots of foreign delgates, work(x3), the other KLCC, deja vu hostel, new friends, broken spoons, flood. Oh, bad management too.

The whole thing happened a month before the event actually started. If you read Pab's blog, she mentioned this. So I guess I'll skip this.

The whole thing happened in Kuala Lumpur Convention Center. If you're an avid PC Fair attendee, you'd know that the place is damn big. When we were on the field trip to KLCC, it was the day before PC Fair actually started. I saw the sign of the PCFair, and I was astounded to see that the whole length of PC Fair was about 925 meters. That's about less that a kilometer. And that's for PC Fair. Imagine us running the length of KLCC, back and forth. Damn. (I'm thankful for the carpets and air-cons.)

So the general job description was to run along. We were called "runners" for reason. But I was involved in something extra. Pabs and I, along with about 20 others were involved in the Opening Ceremony (the actual workforce was about 100-plus). Simply put, we had to escort the IFTDO board members onto the stage to greet the Prime Minister. In other words, we're going to see the PM up close! Guess I was really excited at that time. I know, it's just an escort thing. We're not even gonna shake the PM. But damn the very fact that I can see the PM up close excites me. He's actually about less than my height by an inch or so, but maybe that's the songkok's fault. All in all, he's actually as normal as any other guy. But the experiece was great. Too bad Pabs think it was nothing. Ah, I don't care, it's my experience to savor.

Earlier that day, some of us got spooked by Tun Mahathir. We were supposed to make a recieving line for Dr M. We lined up as usual, thinking that he will come from the usual direction. Our backs were facing the lobby elevator. So we waited and waited. Then I heard the elevator door open, and you could imagine a set of boys and girls jumping in surpise and forming an quick recieving line from the elevator to the door. He emerged behind and we were caught off-guard. Crazy, I tell you.

(damn, that energy is fading...)

The foreign delegates were a alot. Mostly Europeans and Americans

.....Waah! I can't write anymore! Tired! Y_Y But I'll post this up, and maybe later I'll finish it. See ya!

Oh, Sayang? I love you. And I'm sorry. I really am. Hugs Hugs Hugs. I love you.

Placeholder for IFTDO

2006-08-26T16:21:00.000+08:00

Supposed to blog about the iftdo thingie, but got lazy instead. So will leave placeholder to remind me. If I forget, remind me, ok? (and definitely you all will use that chance to "remind" me. sigh. :D )

HIJACK OPS: evil laff

2006-08-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

Heya everybody!
*waves*

How are you?
The day is so beautiful today ain't it?
/sakura falling in the background/
ah...the air is so fresh....
/air-comditioning buzzz.../

*sprinkles flowers everywhere*
*sprinkle sprinkle sprinkle*
*sprinkle sprinkle sprinkle*
*sprinkle sprinkle sprinkle*

Ehehe...that should be enuff to change this into a shoujo blog!
Muahahhaha!
HIJACK OPS: End

*door open*
*chair creaks*
"WHat the F????!!"
"Pabloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ops, gotta go! *Pablo runs away to greener pastures* XP

Portraits

2006-06-28T14:09:00.000+08:00

The last one is my current desktop.

RLC sayang.

Let's...

2006-06-18T10:51:00.000+08:00

Let's take Kesatria 2. It feels like we missed a lot. And also to spite ourselves.

Let's retake Mandarin 1. You and I. Unofficially, of course. I know you can do better, and also I want to learn it too.

Let's go to places more often. Last semester we didn't travel much. Not even to KL often.

Let's go to Perlis. Let's fly to Sabah. Let's travel all over Malaysia. I want to show you.

Let's take a flight to Langkawi. It's my favorite island. You'll love it.

Let's go to the movies. I hear angker movies are good. I haven't watched any.

Let's go to Melaka and see Lase, like we did last time.

Let's go take a swim. Wet World definitely. Maybe the public pool too. Let's buy a swimsuit for you.

Let's go sightseeing with our friends. We could go out with ibanez, if he's not busy.

Let's do stuff that we didn't do. We missed out on a lot. Last semester wasn't a good semester. Also with the news of Nina's passing too. And not to mention a horrible holiday we're having.

Let's go crazy. Maybe go to Pejabat Kadi or something. Naah.

Let's work on our own religious strength. I'll go to prayers more often, and I'll send you to church. Or maybe CSS. (maybe not)

Let's do the things that you feel you missed out too. Let's do the things that we didn't do, because we were too schema, or were too uptight. Maybe I'll run around field naked, like I said I would.

Let's go and meet up with our friends all over. Let's go visit them or something.

Let's rent a car and just drive. Anywhere. Let me teach you to drive a car. Let's buy a bicycle.

Let's buy postpaid number, maybe a supplementary line. And a second phone too. And let's not tell anybody we have a new number.

Let's have picnic in KLCC park. I promised to make chicken sandwich, didn't I? And you like the water fountains. Let's stay there until they close up.

Let's go to the second-hand bookstore in CM. Let's go to the souvenir shop in Petaling Street. Let's go to Petaling Street. Let's go to the shop where they sell anime stuff. Let's go to Sg.Wang Plaza and play gatchapon. Let's go to Lowyat and act like we're gonna buy a new computer or something. Let's buy hentai there too.

Let's go to Bandar Utama. I haven't showed you 1 utama, and I'm also dying to go to the curve etc.

Let's go buy the Inu no Eiga VCD. You love the story so much.

Let's jog. We need to watch our health. Less sugar too.

Let's do anything and everything we wanted to do but didn't. Not because we couldn't afford to, but because we limit ourselves. Of course, we still need to watch the spending la. And let's not go to the fast food places too often. Well, maybe for a cheezy wedges. Or toys.

Let's love each other even more than we are right now. Let's hold hands, and never let it go.

*sniff* I love you, sayang. :_) *hugs*

Flying

2006-05-29T16:14:00.000+08:00

I always like to imagine that I'm flying. It's very simple. I just rise up, slowly floating upwards. How high, how fast, those don't matter to me. What I know is that I'm floating up.

Looking down, I could see my house. I see the roads and the cars. The vast expanse of the paddy fields lay below me, like soft green carpet, swaying in the wind. As I lay suspended in mid-air, A single question floats by me. And I already have the answer.

"Where to?"

"East."

In the wind, my body slowly turns, facing east. It was still early in the morning. The sunrise is beautiful from up here. I thought to myself that it would be nice to take things slowly.

I flew up even higher, and moved eastward slowly. I want to soak up the view from here. I see the mountain ranges that stretch to the south. How majestic they looked from up here. The thick jungle covered the land below. Then the jungle cleared out and I see towns again. After that, I see the coastline. I have finally reached the ocean.

I decided to fly low, near the water's surface. The sea breeze blew in my face. I dip my hand into the water. The ocean is wide open in front of me. And I'm determined to go east.

The blanket of night-time begins to cover the sky. The faint lights of the stars begin to blink. I flew upside down, looking up to the black canvas, admiring the stars. The cloudless night makes the stars brighter. I just smile. I take my time flying. I count the stars. Heh, I know it's a waste of time counting the endless entities up there, but I want to spend the time.

I reach the coastline by dawn. The sunrise is beautiful in this land. Parts of this land are covered by mist, which makes the land more beautiful than mysterious. The coastline welcomes me with white sand. In the interior of the land, I see the majestic mountain, rising up from the clouds, like a ruler of this land. I have reached the land that I wanted to go, but not the exact destination.

I flew inland, trying to remember from the stories, trying to find her village, her house. Thankfully I remembered, and flew there.

My journey had come to an end. I landed softly in front of her house. I called out her name. Her head popped out, and she smiled. She ran towards me, hugging me.

Even after all the view, even after the majestic mountains and green carpets and the sea breeze and the bright stars, nothing could match her smile. I hug her. I kiss her cheeks. I had come home. She is my home. She smiles. I smile.

She would ask me, "How’d you get here?"

I would smile and say, "I flew."

She smiles.

RLC

Coins and Auctions

2006-05-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I decided to get off my lazy bum and do something. I looked up the list of stuff that I've been procrastinating over and found one task. I want to bank in all my coin collection.

I got this whole cup of loose change stashed in the room. It's about a full cup of Starbucks's Grande cup (that's the first container), and 3/4 of a long, rectangular camera box. I decided to put the money into my ASB account.

The collected coins were heavy. I put all of them in a hand bag. Noisy too. I went to the bank, and the clerk told me to go to the coin machine and sort it out. The clerk at the coin machine took the coin bag and dumped all of the coins into the machine.

Now, I'm like a kid at a toy store, looking at the machine do its job. The coins are tumbled inside the machine and then they all slide down to their corresponding sots. It was amazing to me. After a while I got the total, sixty something Ringgit. Then the clerk told me that it was a miscalculation and had to redo the process again. I just smiled as I watch the coins tumble and slide all over again. The clerk also gave me the old RM1 coin that was in the collection, and also a Thai coin. Hehe. This time, the clerk also took out a screwdriver and knocked around the machine, trying to prevent stuck coins.

All in all, the grand total was RM 126.16. Huh? I didn't know I had that much in loose change. I know that I've collected its since MMU days. Well, as long as it's money. So there it goes, into the ASB.

While we're on the subject of money, I've been thinking of selling of my book collection. But immediately my thoughts go to my Princess. Okay, let me explain...

I want to sell of my book collection. My artbooks; CardCaptor Sakura artbook, Sakura Taisen artbook, LOTR book set, maybe some Alex Ross art. Some of the books I don't know if I'm willing to part, like MGS and MGS2 artbook.

The reason I want to sell them of is of course monetary. But I also want to get some shelf space back. To tell the truth, it's kinda berserabut there. Also, I think I've out-grown those books already. I don't pay much interest in Sakura Taisen anymore, or any other books for that matter. I haven't opened any books in a long time. Besides, the Sakura Taisen book is in Japanese, and some others in Chinese.

Then there's my Princess. I haven't showed her any of my books. Of course, the solution is simply to bring my books over there and let her see them. Simple.

But that's not the actual problem. The problem is to actually sell the damn books. I've looked for online auctions in Malaysia. But the thing is, all of the online auction sites are actually ghost towns. No bidding activity at all. I don't think online auction sites are a good place to sell them books. Stupid online auctions. Maybe I could get some better luck in KL? Or what about Malacca? Maybe EMiNA-heads might want my books.

But I don't want to part with the books without making some sort of a profit. Dammit, I don't know how to calculate them pulak!

RLC

Why Do We Hurt the One We Love?

2006-05-22T02:57:00.000+08:00

Link

Hugs hugs hugs hugs. I love you, sayang.

"My What?"

2006-05-18T02:01:00.000+08:00

It's always like this: when a man misses his woman he loves so much, usually everything that is related to her reminds him of her. One of the most common things is a love song.

Y'know, the sappy kind. The usual offenders, and probably the worst offender, are Malay love songs. Songs sung by ROCK bands (a contradiction, since they're singing sappy love songs, sigh). Thank God we're not the ERA.fm demographic. English love songs too are a common offender, but not as vicious as malay love songs. Granted, English love songs are nicer.

(Somehow, my thought floated to any of Malaysia's Diva's love songs, notably Siti Nurhaliza and the rest of the bunch. Brr. Let's not go there. Please.)

As a man in love, I cannot escape the above statement. The things that has an imprint of my Princess will always be invaluable to me. Her pictures I keep, looking at them oh so often. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry. But most of the time I smile, because the girl in the picture is smiling back at me with her infectious sweet smile. Heh. :)

As for the song that reminds me of her, I'm an anomaly in this case. It's not a sappy love song. Not at all.

It's Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps". Hm.

Normally, that's not a song to remember your girl by. The song is sexy. The lyrics are playfully naughty. And the video, oh gosh.

But that's her favorite song. The song for her to dance. She would dance this sexy dance to me, usually at the most un-oppportune times. Usually when my hand is full: doing homework, doing the dishes, anything that doesn't resemble sexy.

And then she does the dance to me. Sigh.

I'm not gonna describe the dance, as it's for my eyes only. But my God, I always melt every time she does it. The actual feeling itself is indescribable, 'cause I always lose my mind every time she does it. And the best part about it is that she always laugh when she sees me go blank. I always had a thing for her laugh. It's like honey. It is so sweet in my ears. You just can't help it but smile too.

She puts the smile inside me.

Heh. *hugs*

RLC

Back home again

2006-05-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

But I don't have the heart to write anything yet. Sorry.

Maybe later I'll get my bearings and start writing again. Maybe.

RLC.

Rizal Loves Cherane.

There was a new post...

2006-05-03T13:11:00.000+08:00

...but I deleted it. It was crap to start with. I was angry, and then I cried. And then I was full of remorse. Still feelin' the heat tho, but not as intense as it was initially.

Oh yes, I cried. In this damned INTEC CompLab no less.

In other words, no new posts yet. You can consider this a new post if you want to.

RLC. Forever.

F'ed-up Dinner Plans

2006-03-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

I went online to take a closer look at GACC. Of course, it's the event that EMiNA is organizing. It's big by the looks of it.

Lase once contacted me to ask me to become a guest judge on one of the events. I'm truly honored at the invitiation, and I intend to be at the event to show my support.

But, ah.. Lots of hurdles come in my way. One of the worst thing that could happen is the Kesatria Dinner, on the very same day. Aih, I don't know how... Supposedly, they say it's compulsory attendance la, 4 credit hours la. Although there's no headache from this fiasco, it's still making my head all tossed up.

I really wanted to give the dinner a miss. It's not like never done it before. Yes, I pre-paid the compulsory 40 bucks to them. (Apparently, the word 'compulsory' is a favorite among the power-hungry types. hm.) Correction, WE have already paid for it. And she's not happy with the sick humor of it all.

Giving it a miss would be fun. So what if we flushed down 80 bucks? We already did it before. It's just this time it's under the guise of being 'official.' Hm.

What's even worse is that the dinner plans haven't been released yet. Yep, chalk it up to "Last-Minute Jobs." This kind of act just ruins the nation, you know? I asked the officials about the dinner, and (yes, you guessed it) they say it'll be announced. The fact that the payment for the dinner has already been told to us on January haven't lost on us. What, money first, dinner plans later? Sigh..

They haven't told us about where or when. The only thing we know is, "18th March, 40 bucks." Grr. How can you bleeping plan anything around it? I mean (I'm sorry Princess, I just had to curse here. I hope you'll understand. Sorry), why the fuck they haven't fucking tell us any-fucking-thing about the fucking dinner plans?! I can't fucking blame any-fucking-body about this, I just won't. But please la people, please tell us the fucking dinner plans in fucking advance! Last-Minute FuckJobs ain't gonna cut it!

Oh, I'm so gonna give the dinner a big fuck-off. GACC here I come. Sayang, you wanna join me in a big fuck-off wave?

Sigh... Guess I'm done cursing. Maybe.

If we know about the dinner plans, we could've plan ahead. Leave for Melaka at 7am, Arrive at 9 or 10 am, stay and have fun, Leave for Shah Alam at 5 pm maybe, reach SA at 7 maybe, go to dinner any fucking time they set up. Guess not...

Let me ask you people: is 80 bucks important? Is 4 credit hours important? Are fears for the Kesatria commanders a good motivation at all? What's more important: supporting your alma mater and the club that you helped, or going to a crummy dinner where maybe, just maybe, you'll get tortured by the commanders? And why the hell I'm thinking of Calvin and Hobbes? (Maybe it's one of the strips that has some relation to this enigma.)

http://www.transmogrifier.org/ch/comics/search.cgi [Hm, lucky I found this link thru crazykimchi. I searched, but nothing came up. Maybe I'm not using the right words...]

Oh, in other stories:

Lase, glad to hear that everything's okay for you. We would be there for your support, if not for us being 2 hour's drive away.

Sigh, now I feel a bit calmed. Cursing can do some good to you. Just have to remember to curse internally.

That's all for now.

RLC

The Week That Was

2006-02-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

Why is it so hard to start writing a new entry? I mean, I left it for around a week plus, and when I want to write, nothing happens. Why?

Ahh, now that's a good warm-up. a bit harsh, but that gets my mental muscles flexing. Okay, now for the real thing...

Ah, what a week it was. the week of 20th to 26th of February will go down in history as The Week That Was. I mean, crazy poopies happened. (yeah, trying to cut down on my swear words, so I'll just cute-ify it.) And didn't even happen right on the week. It happened on the weekend before...

Crab Island

On Saturday, Princess and I went to Port Klang. Granted, it's not an ideal place for a dating spot at all. I mean, PORT KLANG? DATING? But yes, we went there. On the trusty bike even. We went there because we had a whim and just wanted to go places. See new stuff. Besides, there was this inside joke where a friend of ours accidentally reached Pulau Ketam, where the actual destination was just the Main Campus a few kilometers away...

Anyway, we wanted to go see Pulau Ketam for ourselves. The trip there was crazy. I felt guilty over exposing princess to the environments and the sun. After the long bike ride, we finally reached -- the jetty to Pulau Ketam. And another surprise, the end of the line of the KTM Komuter train was here, the Pelabuhan Klang station.

We lepak'd in the jetty, and princess managed to get her cob of corn. The water there ain't Pangkor, but at least we got some ocean breeze (with a hint of diesel, mm-hm.) Then we went to up the road, in an excercise of close-your-eyes-and-see-where-this-road-leads-to. And it did lead us to somewhere special.

Near North Port, was a nice little beach called Tanjung Harapan. It looks like Klebang beach, especially with the rocks instead of sand. But it was nice there. Cool breeze, nothing unsightly nearby, save the jutting towers of North Port. It was a nice place.

Going back, we used the NKVE instead of the old road. We even managed to take a closer look at the emergency phone at the side of the highway. Note: this time it's a new design. Not the old-skool phone with reciever, this time the mouthpiece and speaker is built straight into the pole. Imagine a very long and slender phone reciever, and you'll get it. Imagine two kids looking like fools playing with the phone, and you'll see us.

After that, off to the CC we go. This is where Princess wrote her v-day blog.

v-day

Erm, reading that comment by Dea made me blush. I mean, it's nothing big la, sayang. (Yeah right.) I just wanted to show my princess my appreciation for her. I knew I had to get something for her.

Back home in Kangar, I had this idea to make her a personalized hankie with a big red heart on it. I saw her personalized face towel and I thought I could do it too. I planned the stuff, and bought the items in Kangar. I made it in Shah Alam. Thank God I got a good reception from her of the gift.

As for the flower, it's a last minute impulse. I never intended to but flowers for her, but the cashier asked me if I wanted to buy a flower, and I immediately said yes without batting an eyelid. The cashier was more stunned than myself.

As for the setup, I really don't know what time to give her the stuff. I was really anxious by then. I considered her would-be reactions and created virtual situations. Finally I settled with giving her the flowers in the morning and the hankie later in the day. I would've given the hankie in class, just for extra drama, but I know she'll kill me afterwards. Sorry sayang.

Thank God her reception towards the gifts was good. And for the record, I don't believe in Valentine's day. Correction, WE don't believe in it, and I can give the gifts any other day. But I think that day is a good day to appreciate the loved one in your life. So there.

Okay... we're segued into something else. Let's get back on track and focus on the supposed topic at hand: The Week That Was.

19th

On the 19th, Princess was acting all weird. I could see her smsing people. Looked serious too. Life and death, no doubt. But I hated it that she was doing it in the middle of a date. So I chided her softly about it. I even wished whoever it was on the other side luck and happiness. She just laughed a nervous laugh.

Later she asked me to drop her off at Amoi's, because she said she had something to talk about with her. I wasn't suspicious about it, most probably girl talk. I'm not gonna risk my neck for that. So I left her. Later I picked her up.

On the morning of the 20th, it was my birthday. And nobody wished me a happy birthday. Being the pathetic turd that I am, I felt dissappointed. I think I even had a bout of depression that morning. I mean, nobody remembered my birthday? How depressing can that be? I even softly nudged Princess and asked her what day it was, and got back a stupid reply: it was Monday. That was it, I'm officially depressed.

At the same time, I noticed Princess was getting agitated and even a bit pushy. She went around my back and talked to people outside my hearing. But I guess I was too depressed to notice those things. Very sneaky, sayang.

As we went out of campus, Giant called and asked me to get back home. Urgent, he says. He even spoke with a sense of urgency. Cursing, I went up home. I don't like to be disturbed when I'm depressed as hell. I dragged Princess up to the house.

Lo and behold, I got the surprise of my life. There he was: Giant, with a cake on his hands, complete with two big candles and four small candles. On the wall, a big "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" was stuck on the wall. All the housemates were there. There it was: a surprise birthday party for me.

Surprise!

It was a damn good surprise, I was speechless. I couldn't even stand, let alone blow the candles or cut the cake. Princess had to sit me down. My hands were shaking as I cut the cake. All of them laughed. I was embarrassed, I was speechless. More importantly, I was touched by all this. I had to use up all my strength to hold back my tears. Hell, I had to hold it back again as I'm typing this.

The birthday boy was dumbstruck. Later when I finally regained control over my body, I asked who planned this. Giant simply answered, "bini hang tu la." I looked at princess and I hugged her. Thank you, sayang. Thank you Cherane.

She laughed at me, saying that I thought she'd forget my birthday. She said she didn't. She had this all planned out since a month ago. The gears started moving on the weekend. The weekend that we went to Port Klang.

Apparently, she could conjur up a conspiracy theory worthy of CIA involvement. She did everything by remote. She gave Giant the orders to buy the cake and the set up. She even gave the money to Giant, using me as the unwitting posto-boy. She asked me to pass some notes in a file to Giant, not even realizing that inside the file was the money and orders.

And the sms during the date? That was Giant, and she was giving further orders for him. Under my nose. And the girl-talk at Amoi's? That was actually a de-stress session. She was was so stressed out keeping a secret from me. Sigh, *hugs* I'm sorry sayang, for putting you through hell.

So there it was, my first birthday party. Arranged by my princess. I love you, sayang. You're the greatest.

But no, it doesn't stop there...

Acci-bleeping-dent

That was heaven. This was hell. What happened? An accident happened, that's what.

We were on our way back when another bike struck the right side of us. We weren't hurt bad, but the other motor suffered bents and scratches.

I'm sorry, I just don't want to elaborate about this. The accident wasn't that bad, but the aftershock was. For starters, the freakin' riders were just highschool kids. And they're more worried about the bike then themselves. Why? "takut mak marah." Everytime an image of those kids flashed in my mind, i just want to strangle them until [insert very graphic violence here].

The mother was actually kind. A single mom, she's very sweet. no hassle there. The kid, I actually wanted to [insert more violence]. hmph.

I told Giant later that night, including to the price of repairs that we asked a shop right after the accident. Giant fumed about it. Too pricey, he says, and he wanted to take a look at the motor himself. We went there and take a look at his motor. We discussed and finally made arrangements to meet with the boy's uncle the next day at 4pm.

The next day all three of us (Princess, Giant and myself) went to Putrajaya to send Giant's dirty laundry and to get his car serviced up. A simple stop turned to an excruciating wait as the repairs took longer than expected. We're definitely going to miss the meeting.

So I called the family up, and I was met with a very angry uncle. Hmph. I told him we'll get there. A bit rude, if not a lot.

We reached the family at 6pm. Giant did most of the talking, and we finally reached an agreement. Thank God for that. I would like to put the accident and the negotiations behind me now, cause it sucks balls.

Sunday

On Sunday, Princess got a slight fever. SO there I was, putting wet towels on her head. Stubborn as an ox, this girl. At least there's abang to take care of you, so let me take care of you. Later that day we went back to Putrajaya to take care of unfinished business, and we went back to Shah Alam for some teppanyaki. And we were worried about the flood that hit Shah Alam, so we just went on the alternative routes.

Later that night, Giant and I went to watch Man U play Wigan. I only stuck for only the first half. I went back to sleep, and thus, The Week That Was has ended. Sigh.

Argh, can't write anymore. Later.

RLC

Pain & Support

2006-02-08T19:48:00.000+08:00

First, to reply to the messages.

@Fird: yep, they sure are. Cute little buggers. So how's life, dude?

@Lase: the RLC thingie? Eh, it's a simple acronym play. The players? Me, Pablo, and that one little thing that starts with the letter L. Hehe, try to figure that one out. In the meantime, you could try and break the CLOVER code too. same code-play. :D

@Lase again: Hey, you still have family over here. Pabs and I are there for you. And then there's EMiNA too.

Hm, life's been going too fast nowadays. Schoolwork's a bee-atch. Tons and tons. The usual. :p

Somehow, it's been a zen-like experience with the homework. At least you get distracted by the work. But of course, social life should never be forgotten. That's where the pain starts...

What I mean is, when friends face troubles in their lives. You are obliged to go and help them. At least be there to listen to their woes, and give moral support.

I love the job of the moral supporter. But it doesn't mean I love seeing my friends suffer. It breaks your heart seeing them hurt. And worse, you can't help him or her. All you can do is, give moral support. Sometimes I hate this job.

They would call upon you, ask you to keep them company. And then they pour out their worries to you. And I'll be there to support them. But it hurts to see them hurt. I want to do something to ease their pain. I don't know how to help aside from listening to them.

But the thing is, (and I'm still surprised at this) they appreciate me listening to them. It's like the burden are lifted from their shoulders, even if it's only a little bit of the whole. You can just see it in their eyes, the appreciation.

Still, it hurts to see them hurt. Sigh. Wish I could help them. Wish I could.

Sayang, I love you. I thank God that you're here for abang, and I will always love you.

Uh, no more time. Later.

RLC

Empty

2006-02-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

It's 9pm. My bus back to Shah Alam is at 10pm. And? I can't think of anything. At all.

I switched on my PC, and I stare at it blankly. Open up the browser, and I don't know where to go.

Watching TV. At least there's Juara Lagu. But I'm not into it. I'm just staring into space.

Trying to sit still. my body aches. All over. Popped a pill or two. Doesn't help. Maybe I'll feel better sleeping in the bus later.

My princess? No word from her. Called her, said she was out to town, shopping. I let her be. Maybe I wanted her to teman me. Really really tak sedap badan ni. Feeling empty.

I miss her.

Goodbye MMU

2006-02-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

Finally the mood to blog came to me, but without the idea flood. I had to wring the little bastards out. Sigh.

So, I'm back home now. It's day two. The total number of anything constructive that i have done? Zero. Goose egg. So far I've been surfing the net looking at-- no, not porn, but comic book reviews or summaries. I don't know why. Really. Now as I sit here trying to type this blog, I am struck dumbfounded, that I had wasted 24+ hours reading comic book-related stuff. Huh.

Oh yeah, before I proceed with the blog, I just like to wish my Princess a happy 5-month anniversary. It's been a helluva ride these 5 months. And it's kinda sad that we're not together to celebrate this anniversary. I promise you, there'll be a surprise coming. I love you, sayang.

y'know, I could've gone out to town and actually do something. The top of the list would be to top up my phone(s). Both of them expired already, and that means I can't contact Princess over the cell. Of course, I could just call her thru the house phone. I just don't want to kacau her. Bet she's having the time of her life. And I bet Kota Kinabalu looks fantastic in pink. Don't you think so, sayang? (other weird colors are good too.)

Well, let's start blogging here. Hm, What stories can we tell...? There's the Melaka trip and Bukit Cerakah outings, but I'll leave them to Pabs to tell it all. She has more colorful vocabulary than mine anyway. ;) Ah, but I could talk about my thoughts here and there.

In the Melaka trip, one of the places we visited was the MMU campus in Bukit Beruang. As you all know, that place holds a lot of memories there. I've blogged about it before. But this time, when I visited there, there are no emotions triggered. We passed the places that once had a special meaning to me, the places of my youth. And to my surprise, I felt nothing. I half-expected that I would cry or something, but it never happened. There wasn't any heavy feeling inside me. Yes, it was fun to see the places I had roamed in my youth, but the emotions that were attached to it has gone. It felt like it was another place to me. It was a campus, yes. It's just another campus. I felt like a stranger in there. I really couldn't believe it.

When we got out of the campus, it finally dawned to me that I have moved on. There is no more reason for me to get attached emotionally to this campus anymore. It's weird. I have another campus now. But more importantly, I fell in love with another soul. Maybe because of these two reasons, my mind reckons that the old emotions pertaining to MMU should be put in a box and stored neatly. I need the space for these two reasons. Especially now that I am in love with a girl. Sigh.

So I guess this is a final farewell to MMU. A farewell to the MMU in my heart. A farewell to Bukit Beruang. These places still exist physically, and I'm sure I'll visit them again, maybe as a visitor, maybe I'll work there. But in my heart, MMU exists no more. Goodbye, MMU.

Ironically, as I type this, I'm listening to MP3s from the MMU days, mostly anime related. Also, the keyboard I'm typing right now, I bought at MMU. So does this very PC I'm using. All from MMU. Ironic. Heh. Even if I have forgotten MMU, I still can't and would not forget the experiences, the stuff MMU has given to me. More importantly, the people of MMU, especially Lase, and Hilmie. Two best friends, and countless acquaintances. Heh.

(writing break. Gone to enjoy a fruitcake. :D)

Okay, I'm back. (munch, munch.) What else has happened, hm? Oh yeah, CNY. Happy CNY, people. Sorry it's a bit belated. :D And it's the year of the Dog, too. that means... I'm 24 this year. Holy Crap.

Ah, I've been looking at my old post, but only as far back as a year ago. It's very entertaining to read what I did a year ago. Not much of a cringe-fest, more like I smiled at myself. Guess my experiences here are much, much better, hm?

Speaking of CNY, the university decided to shunt up the mid term break, which is why I'm here how typing this at home. The thing is, Pabs and I didn't immediately go home on CNY. We went back home right after it, which means we have a few days to have fun over here. One of the activities was Cycling at Bukit Cerakah, which Pablo will gladly tell about it.

...

This is a bad time to experience Writer's Block. I can't think of anything to write about. Great. Well, I'll blog again later.

RLC

[p.s.: I fulfilled the promise to write a blog "esok". Heh, funny.]

Cute Crayola Glory

2006-02-02T00:15:00.000+08:00

This was a result of a doodle chat. It was too cute to leave it behind. So here it is, in all it's Crayola glory.

Oh, happy 5th month anniversary, Sayang. :) i love you.

Hm, anything else to write about? Oh yeah, Happy anniversary. I love you.

Oh, you mean the blog? "Esok lah." :D

I love you.

Wordy or not?

2006-01-31T21:34:00.000+08:00

Back at home already. Sadly, I'm not too wordy right now, unlike someone else who's actually bursting with bubbles.

sigh, even the typos as I type are increasing. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe something's-- whoops, scratch that. It's cured.

I meant to say that I was missing a chunk of my heart, but in the middle of writing it, the heart came back, with a gallon of hugs for me. ^_^

Well, see ya later. I have something important waiting for me online.

My princess. :)

...

2006-01-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

Sayang...*hug*

That's all I can give. Hugs and kisses.

*hug* *kiss*

You've been through a lot. It's sad to see your sad face. And that I can't do anything about it.

But I'm here for you. Because I love you. I will never leave you. When you need me, I'm just a call away. And I'm just a single teardrop away. And I will never let that single teardrop touch the ground. For I will wipe it away, and I'll hug you till if makes you feel better, because I know you like it when I hug you.

Sayang... *hug* I love you. You have heard the words above, and the three words just before this so many times. I love you. I love you.

I can't put a title on this blog. Because I don't have an exact word or phrase to put it there. Speechless. It's the same expression when I read her blog. All I wanted to do is to hug her.

I love you.

What Mar said is true. HE loves you. The big Man up there loves you. My love for you can't compare Him. But I can love you the best I can.

RLC

Shah Alam weather sucks

2006-01-12T21:48:00.000+08:00

It's been more than two weeks since I last blogged. These two weeks (like always) has been haven and hell. Thankfully, this time it's mostly heaven, most of it provided by My Princess.

If you have not been to her place yet, you should. She has written a lot of our experiences in the two weeks that has been. Now it's my turn to tell the story.

The first memory I have since I returned to Shah Alam is arriving here on new year's eve. Bus ride was the usual. One good thing was that the post office called me on the bus to tell me the package has arrived at Shah Alam. What package? My motorbike, aka "The 'Hog." Yesiree, I sent my bike over here. I guess it's due time I have my own feet over here, and maybe that I no longer have the chance getting into Cemara. (FYI people, God does have a sense of irony.)

The first few days I spent in Azwan's house, waiting for my buddies to tell me that we finally have a house we could rent nearby. Damn, nearby it is. It's right in front of the FACULTY. You can reach the faculty gates just by crawling there. Guess there's no more reason to miss classes anymore...

SO the motorbike is rendered pointless. :P Aih. But it is not so. Of course, if one is creative, one could reach the heights with just a motorbike. And reach I did. Or rather, we did.

Oh, we went to places previously unimaginable. For starters, we went to KLCC (of course, we left the bike at the commuter station, went there by train) and we returned home way late. Previously, it was unimaginable that we could lepak in KL until late hours. Now we can. ^~^ But of course, the motor is limited to Shah Alam region only. I don't want to push the motor way its limits.

One other place was Bukit Cerakah, aka Bukit Cahaya Seri Alam. Frankly, that place is practically unreachable, but with my own legs, finally we could have fun there. And fun we did have. One of the reason Pabs wanted to go there was the bicycle rents. She wanted to learn to ride a bike. She doesn't know how. :p But I was paitient with her, and taught her the basics of cycling from scratch. Also, we were lucky that the place was damn big. I mean, it's a huge forest and hilly region. The climbs up the road was hellish. She slowly got the cycling basics as time goes by.

We also went to the Four Seasons house, which is currently in the winter season. It was a fun experience there, if you consider walking into a huge freezer 'fun'. Imagine this, I only have a pair of jeans and a comfy shirt and sandals, good enough of the tropical climate that we have. Introduce this to a sub-zero climate, and you got a popcicle. :p My toes feel like they were poked by hundreds of needles, and almost every inch of my body froze. I would like to experience it all again. It was fun. Even managed to throw a snowball to Pabs (that hit a glass door intentionally.)

The whole hill was damn big to explore. big uphills, big downhills. What I'm really proud of is that by the end of the trip, Pablo managed to ride the bike on her own. Congratulations, sayang! I'm proud of you! *hugs* Then the horror actually came: she got bitten by the cycling bug, and wants a bike for her own. Or at least, another trip to Bukit Cerakah again. Sorry la sayang, maybe next time. Tiring.

Mmm..what else. Don't know lah. But, because of the bike, I don't have to depend on the public transports anymore. No more time constraints for us. I'm really glad.

In other news, My love life has really taken a turn for the best. I love her even more each day, and she responds the same too. I'm really glad about that. There has never a day where I stop loving her. Everyday I whisper to her, "sayang, I love you," and her reply always make me smile. The cutest must be the cute smile she does all the time. kyoot~!

In education news, the classes have begun. Oh yeah, I took Japanese class. She took Mandarin class. It's the only class where we are separated. But I guess it's okay, as I know she's having fun in that class, as am I. The rest of the subjects are going well, minus some hiccups here and there. Oh well, early in the semester. Once the semester truly gets underway, it's hell all over again.

Ah! We're also taking Kesatria Negara (Kesat for short. kinda dirty name, eh?) Damn fun. If you consider being ordered around by runts who took the title "commander" and doing marches "fun". :P But in actuality, we did have fun. Granted, we only had one session. I bet I'll be changing this statement soon. Actually, one of the things I'm looking forward to is seeing Pablo in a Tudung (!) Oh hell yeah. No way I'm telling you my feelings about this, nor will I tell you how she looks. That's my girl, and she looks beautiful. Words cannot describe her. Then again, words actually can't describe her in any time at all. She's so beautiful in my eyes. :) Sigh...

Oh, have I told you that Shah Alam weather sucks? Rain, shine, rain, shine. Yeah.

RLC

Nameless faces/Faceless names

2005-12-28T12:47:00.000+08:00

Looking at Ross' blog entry which he cleans up his Y!M friends list, I am insipired to do so too. His logic is right, why have lots of names when there's none chatting to you? 5000 is a big number tho. Hope he's just joking. But if he really did have 5000... O_o;;

So I did the same too. Well, not to the extent of deleting the names, I just put it on different categories. I don't have 5000 names like him, which gives him justification to delete. Then again, deleting the names seems more humane than compartmentalize it and forget it. Damn, I'm cruel.

Again, Ross speaks the truth. Why have names, if they don't chat with you? Looking at my own list, I have 16 names that I don't think I'll ever chat with. Hell, and that was before the clean-up I did just now. Even the category name was changed to a more friendlier version (which alludes that it was a harsh name last time). And frankly, the numbers has more than doubled.

But that's what the Nameless Faces are there for. Namelists of people I barely click to chat anymore. People who I used to know in my younger days, who have lost contact with me. Some I have forgotten already, some I don't even care, but most I can't forget about. And why the hell do I still keep it instead of deleting it? Maybe for the fact that I do want to contact them. (and when the hell is that? Your wedding? You're an idealist, brotha. *shakes head*)

As for the importante people, they're the people I care about. Ironically, they're never online most of the time. Work, school, anything. But when they're online, they will chat with me, and I will chat with them. That's a must.

Sad to say, if we're comparing numbers, Ross has more friends than I? Heh. Granted, this is an ONLINE list. It does not show the true person. Someone once said to me, "friends come and go." (Yes, there's supposed to be more than that, I know.)

Contrary to what I showed here, people who are close to me knows that I value friendship very much. I care for my friends, "peha kiri dicubit, peha kanan terasa" kinda guy. My girl knows this, my best friends know this. And I'm fiercely protective of my friendship. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't cross people, and doesn't like people crossing me.

In other news, I'm going back to SA tomorrow. Haven't bought the bus tix. Gila. At least I'm looking forward to spend my time with my girl, and studying my ass off again.

p.s. It's bleeping hard to work on a screenshot without photoshop installed in the PC...sigh.

[editus rex]
p.p.s. I just found out that I do have photoshop installed, an hour after I posted this. orz. Proceeding to bash head on wall for sheer stupidity.

RLC

"Perpisahan Sementara"

2005-12-23T04:37:00.000+08:00

It's those short and simple goodbyes that hurt so much.

You know that she has to go. You know that you can reach her anytime by phone. You know that you'll send those lovely smses and she'll recieve them with a smile. You know that she loves you.

Ah, the simple goodbyes do hurt.

Then again, she showed the solution:

"Just close your eyes, and you can already see me. I close my eyes, and I see you already."

I'm closing my eyes, sayang.

Can't wait for tomorrow. So I could continue loving her.

RLC

A swimming pool the size of a town!

2005-12-22T15:11:00.000+08:00

Kangar is knee-deep. In water. Flood happened, that's what.

It had been raining for three days straight when I went to Hilmie's place in Alor Star on Saturday. On Sunday morning, my dad called and said that water had reached the front of our porch. Uh-oh...

As I remember, it's been a while since a major flood hit Kangar. There's a picture of me when I was just two years old, inside a floating tub. That was the last major flood.

I reached Kangar at around 4pm, sunday afternoon. The first indication that the flood was bad was the major roads were closed. Damn. Now where will the bus drop off the passengers? The only dry place was at the Dato' Sheikh Ahmad Stadium.

I got off the bus, only to be confronted by a lot of water. I walked back to my home, which is challenging as I had to walk in knee-deep water. All around, flotsam and jetsam.

(More pictures coming in a few days. Uploading sucks.)

When I reached my house, the water is just inches before entering inside. All that changed by nightfall. First the electricity was cut off. Then we noticed water was slowly creeping inside the house...

By 9pm the water was at our ankles. The inevitable has happened: water is in our house. For as long as we lived in this house, water never actually comes in when there's a flood. Now it has. Worse off, we installed permanent carpeting inside the boys' room. The whole night we scrambled to get stuff up from the floor.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of water. The water had risen up to about six inches in the night. We were wading in the water on Monday. I took this chance for some photo ops. I went out to town with the camera in tow. Damn, my feet hurt from all that walking in the water.

Of course, it was a carnival on the roads. People were wading in the water, kids splashing around. Big vehicles ride through the water. Smaller ones stalled in the water. Heh. motorbikes try to blast through, and most of them failed to get out of the water before the bikes broke down. My own motorbike was on bricks, to avoid water from damaging it. The car was parked somewhere a bit higher, where the water ain't so deep.

The house was underwater for about two days. Later, the electricity came back. But the water is still there. There's even some small fishies that swim around the house. We caught them and feed them to our fishies in the aquarium.

Around wednesday morning the water slowly recedes. The comes the clean up. The whole floor was covered in soot and crap. Of course, the worst is the boys' room. Imagine the smell of the carpet...

Now, the house is back to normal. Well, the furniture's still all whacked out and disoriented. But the clean up will go on.

Today, it's started to rain again. There are fears that the water will rise again. But all of them are rumors. We just brush the rumors off. Rumors can get people crazy. I mean, there's been panicky phonecalls about the dam's burst, or water coming in big time, etc etc. Sigh. That's why we shouldn't believe in rumors so much.

Well, I guess that's the story. Maybe I missed some. Maybe you guys have some questions. Feel free to ask. Also, enjoy the photos that I took.

Oh, I don't know when exactly will I go back to Shah Alam. Hopefully a bit late, but I don't know these university types...

RLC

Langkawi Squared

2005-12-17T02:20:00.000+08:00

Going to a holiday island is an exciting endavour, but going there twice in the span of two days is murder.

The story goes like this: The first was LIMA. it was on saturday, the tenth. It was a single-day affair. Go there, go see the exhibits, go see the planes, go see the aerial shows, get back home.

Like always, it sounds easy on paper, but it was hell, in terms of energy spent. The weather was blazingly hot that day, a complete opposite from what we heard from the weather forecast on that very morning. We got a nice tan, alright.

The show itself was fun. Though it lacked the Sukhoi SU-30 acrobatics, we were entertained by the RMAF's MiG-29 showcase. The weather was apologetic to us today, thank God. And we were tired as hell by the end of the day.

Sunday was more like Dullday. The only highlight was the news that a relative from Johor was to come on Monday. Housekeeping mode was initiated, as protocol was initiated.

The relatives came, and we got to talking. My uncle threw some ideas for their vacation, and considering I got some knowledge about Langkawi, he roped me in as his tour guide, and take his family for a vacation there.

I thought he was joking.

He didn't.

So off we go again. Tuesday morning, I found myself at the Jetty again, barely two days since I was last there.

I guess I was a pretty good guide for my uncle's family. We avoided the regular tourist traps that could easily swallow my uncle's family. They're first-timers to Langkawi too. Only the wife has been to Langkawi, and that was twenty years ago. Basically the family of six (3 sons and a doughter) are Langkawi virgins, and it's up to me to show them the good places.

One of the traps is the car rental trap at the jetty. Throngs of people come out from the belly of the ferry, just to be greeted by hecklers who peddle rental car services. It is easy for any newbie tourists to fall for this obvious trap: they're a tired from the boat trip, and they don't want to struggle with the hassle of going to the car rental booths outside, so let's just get a damn car from one of these people.

I know this scam. I'd experienced this once, and I know how to bypass this scam: just ignore them and go straight to the counters outside. My uncle dutifully followed me and we got ourselves a van, together with the reciept and other paperwork. This proved to be a right move later that night.

We checked in into a motel, and later, we went to the Cable car at Mat Cincang Mountain. That's my second time there. As like any other Langkawi spots, there's a trick for everything. There are two stations on the mountain peak. The cable car will reach the first station and then continue it's way to the 2nd station, which is higher at the peak. Then the car will make a U-turn and then return to the first station and then back down to the base station.

The trick is that we don't get off at the first station. That station is small and unimpressive. The best is at the top station. It's larger, higher, and has the impressive cable bridge. So there we are, admiring God's creation at 700m above sea level.

That was the highlight. The low point happened in the night. We went back to the motel and freshen up for dinner. When we were ready to go, the van was missing.

So there we were, going crazy. To cut things short, the van was retrieved half an hour later. It was a big case of misunderstanding. The "thief" mistook our van was his, and that the van was easily accesible. I saw someone use his motorcycle key to start the van. Go figure.

The next day I brought the family to Pasir Tengkorak beach. It's another secret of Langkawi. Get there early, and you get your own private beach, clean and unspoilt.

I also rented a motorbike. It's a Jaguh, and I had fun riding it. I wanted to take the bike to the beach that morning, but was hampered by a burst tire less than halfway to the beach. Dammit. And the road leading to the beach was great. And I missed the chance to ride a bike there. Chiss.

Nevermind la. So we had a great day, and by noon, we are ready to leave the island. I thought my role as tour guide was over once we got back, but my dad gave this great idea to take the family to Padang Besar, a shopping mecca over here. Oh great.

We officially ended the day at 6pm as we reached home. And I had to send Emec to the bus station later that night. I sent him with sand still stuck between my toes.

So there you have it. Langkawi Squared. Yes, I had fun being a tour guide. I had fun that I went to Langkawi TWICE. But it wasn't all fun, cos I'm missing someone. Thankfully she's always in my mind...

As of the time of this entry, my legs are still sore. Arh...

(uploaded pics from LIMA)

RLC

Guess what?

2005-12-10T07:32:00.000+08:00

Guess what I saw this morning when I made breakfast?

In my frying pan, as I cooked burgers, I saw a four-leaved clover.

Guess what I put in my breakfast this morning?

Tomato ketchup.

Guess what I saw this morning when I went to fetch Emec early in the morning?

The eastern sky lighting up, the first light of dawn. Which means Sabah is already bright.

Guess what will I do today when I visit LIMA?
Thinking of you.

RLC.

Maxis, Celcom and Digi

2005-12-07T12:28:00.000+08:00

Malaysia has these three major cell-phone providers. Granted, they all have their strengths and weaknesses. But I'll try to avoid mentioning it now, 'cause what I really wanted is to talk about the cell providers and their direct relation with my relationship with my Princess.

As you all may know, my official line is Celcom. I never shut it off, although I know that there'll be nobody calling over this line. This is because most of the people use Maxis as their preferred line. And they ask me, "why don't you use Maxis?" And I hate explaining to them, and I definitely hate explaining it over here.

Then there's Digi. Oh, Digi. yes, I had a digi line once. It's an okay service when I was in SA, but it stinks when I'm in Kangar. Frankly, Digi has the best rates of all three, but when it comes to service... Uh, next.

Maxis by far is 'the' cell provider. With its consumer base of over 7 million, it's supposed to be the best. And frankly, I find Hotlink is the best prepaid, but the rates are somewhat disappointing.

If we were in a idealistic world, I'd say that we would have a cell service that has good rates like Digi, excellent coverage like celcom, and good service like maxis. A fool's paradise, eh?

What does all this have to do with my relation ship with my Princess? Well, as we are separated by that shitty South China Sea, our only connection is through the phone. Of course, an easy way for her to keep in contact is through the use of phonecards and phonebooths. But as she can't leave the bedside too long, the only way is by cellphone.

So i bought her a Maxis simcard, as do I. Why not Digi? Why not Celcom? She said that celcom sucks in Sabah. Well, okay then. As for Digi, it sucks in Kangar. Now that we have two cell services that cancel out each other, all that's left is Maxis. It doesn't suck at both places. That's good to know.

And she got herself a second phone too. Granted, it's used, but hey. At least it doesn't intrude on the Digi phone. And that digi phone is her official phone. (Two people who love each other but have different official provider?! Gila! That's why I bought the two maxis lines, so it's our direct hotline to each other.)

By the looks of it, it seems that we're okay, kan? Maxis is okay over here, it's okay over there. Both of us have a secondary phone. Problem solved, kan? We can leave these two lovebirds to do their thang, right?

Not.

It turns out that her secondary phone has a slight problem, what she calls a "line drop." The signal will automatically go away from her phone. And to get it back, she has to switch it off and on again. This would be okay if we're SMSing, as the system is asynchronous (thank God for that). But that slight problem turns to %&#$&@! when I try to call her.

The phone will dutifully kill the call when we're well into a conversation. And that sucks. It's very stressful to know that: 1) your call will be cut off anytime, and 2) it gets cut off when you're well deep into your conversation. The longest conversation I had was 8 minutes before the line finally cut off, and that was a fluke. Usually it's in the range of two minutes before we got rudely cut off. And frankly, when you're in love, single-digit minutes ain't gonna cut it. Sigh.

At least I'm okay with SMS. Although it can't replace my voice, but at least I can communicate without the stress. And I'm very impressed with Maxis. If it weren't for the phone's fault, I'd talk to her all the time.

Now that Maxis' line is kinda shitty by the fault of phone, the next thing is by her Digi phone. But I'd rather die than call to her digi line from a non-digi line. Another one of the idealistic dreams is that we have cheap rates for between-services call. But noo...

Now i'm thinking of buying a digi simcard again. the first card, i technically threw away, but my princess asked me to hand it over to her. I did, and now it's in her posession. So if I buy another digi card, I will face low call rates, but with annoying service problems over here.

Then there's the unexpected challenger. The Landline. I could call her using my house phone, or she could call me by using the phonebooth. As stated earlier, she cannot leave the bedside for too long, and there's no bleeping phone booth in a hospital ward. As for me, well, it's the bills...

The landline is a good alternative, but it has its weaknesses too. Glaringly big weakness at that. Hell, all of them has weaknesses and strengths. And all of them are meant for one thing: to prevent us from actually having a good communication. Bleep you.

Thank God our love is strong. We don't need no frickin' phones to know that.

RLC.

Staring at the sun too long

2005-12-04T09:06:00.000+08:00

I'm writing this as I'm waiting for Emec to come pick me up. We're going places, yo.

Sometimes when I try to recall her image, I get a 404. that means I couldn't see her face. And that's scary. I don't want to lose her image. So I go and look at her pictures.

At least looking at her pictures brings the smiles to me. The times we were together when I took those pics, God, she looks beautiful. She is beautiful.

Then, it hurts so much inside. Yes, I'm seeing her face, but now I yearn for her touch, her laugh, her spirit. It hurts so much looking at her pics, I had to keep it away.

At least I know that this hurt is easily cured by actually seeing her in the flesh. That'll dispell any longing or pain. I can see her face, her expressions. I can touch her, feel her. And I can smile, and she smiles with me.

That day will come.

RLC.

Exploring a dream

2005-11-30T08:00:00.000+08:00

Didn't have a good sleep last night. Tossing and turning. Plus, I slept around 3am, and woke up before 7am, didn't help the situation too. But why?

Maybe because I was wary of sleeping. You see, I've been dreaming that I'm exploring Sunway Lagoon Resort Hotel. Not Sunway Pyramid, not Sunway Lagoon, but Sunway Lagoon Resort Hotel. Weird. Worst off, I was alone. Without my princess.

Sunway Lagoon Resort Hotel is a big place, and you can easily get lost there exploring its nooks and crannys. I know it, because I explored it recently with my Princess.

How did the dream go? Well, I was walking around the hotel aimlessly. One thing that is glaringly noticable was the absence of my Princess. Usually I'd explore the hotel with her, but without her by my side, I was literally aimless. I went around walking through the halls, feeling a bit scared that she wasn't there to hold my hand.

Does this dream translate into something in real life? I don't know. And frankly, I don't believe it, and don't give a damn about it.

I will explore Sunway Lagoon Resort Hotel again with my Princess. I will have the chance to hold her again. I will have fun with her. I will have the opportunity to say "I love you" to her.

So what's the relation with my lack of sleep last night? Maybe I don't want to have that dream again. I'd rather have a bad sleep than a bad dream. Maybe I'm getting the fever. I don't know. Maybe I miss her so much.

As I woke up this morning, she called me. Hearing her voice...sigh. Her voice is a thousand times sweeter than sms. The simple way she said "good morning," the sweetness of her "I love you" made me feel better. It made me look forward for the day. It made me look forward for the future, where we'll hold hands together again.

Thank you, sayang.

Prayers for my princess and her mother.

RLC.

Of tiredness, gaming, and prayers

2005-11-29T01:43:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged in a while, and I guess now's a good time to blog a new one.

So here I am, using my bro's laptop in the dark. Damn, those typos sure pop up more often than usual. maybe because it's 1am right now. Well, 1am can still be considered 'young' by my standards. But then again, when you're bored as hell, you're prone to get sleepy.

Which is weird, because I had good afternoon sleep tadi, blatantly ignoring lunchtime. Why? I guess I was too tired. Emec and I went for a swim at Sg. Batu Pahat, around 14km or so from Kangar. I guess we were tired after all that. And maybe the tiredness still carries on until now.... I'll try to wrap up whatever's in my head ASAP.

My gaming world's kinda so-so nowadays. I'm still struggling to finish Resident Evil 4, and the progress was hampered by stuttering cutscenes in the game. It's the DVD's fault. I take Emec's later. To add insult, Emec already finished the game. This is why I struggled to finish the game. :p

I've been praying to my Princess and her mother lately. She needs all the support she can get, and this is the best I give as support. I'd prefer being right next to her, but I just can't. Sigh.

I always feel like she's the angel sent from heaven to watch over me. Now, I want to pay her back, by taking care of her. I'll give all the support I can give, and pray for her.

Frankly, this is the weirdest holiday I ever had. Emotional turmoil is the main dish. But, all can't be about sad stuff, kan? Of course there's fun things that I had these past few days, but (oh, I know she's gonna strangle me over this), I have this nagging feeling of guilt; why the hell should I have fun, while she's not?

But I know, when we'll get back together, we'll have all the fun, together. We'll go urban exploring together. Who knows, maybe we'll go to Melaka and see Lase after all. All this can be achieved. In the future. That's assured. But for now, just stick with the present. Work out your present state. Don't over-think it.

[DELETED]

Somehow, I wonder, am I a good supporter?

I want to be by her side, to give her support. To love her. To give her strength. But she's thousands of miles away from me. I can only give her support over the phone. I can't hug her. I can't hold her hands. I can't be the shoulder for her to cry on. I can only hear her cry over the phone.

Dammit, why does it have to be like this? I know this is a test from Allah. But for whom the test is for? Me? Or my Princess? What do You want from this test? Sigh...

All I can give her is support over the phone.

RLC. RLC. RLC. Forever.

Home, but not up.

2005-11-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

I'm home already. The semester break. Three weeks total. Sadly, it's the monsoon season. So the outlook is rain, rain, rain. And even more sad, it kinda reflects me.

I know I shouldn't feel like this. I try to, but sometimes I get overwhelmed like hell. And it rains.

All I can offer is a prayer. I pray that she gets healthy, and that my princess be strong. I know she is.

in the meantime, I'll try to have fun. The games that was abandoned, my blog, my PC, et cetera. I'll try to keep myself distracted. For her sake.

I'll try to be online as much as possible. But I can't promise anything, as the PC is often hijacked for online gaming sessions. Sigh.

RLC.

Link dump:
http://www.codecoffee.com/tipsforlinux/index-linux.html

Raya stories... or lack thereof

2005-11-05T10:26:00.000+08:00

First off, Selamat Hari Raya to my readers. Maaf Zahir & Batin for everything, and thank you.

I haven't written a proper blog lately. You could say that the house was swamped by visitors or we were away visiting people. That's not the entire case, because we only have a trickle of visitors and I only visited a total number of two houses. Say what you want, I'm not gonna defend myself.

I guess this is where I tell stories about my Raya experience. What's there to tell? The family tries to cut down on the food consumption due to slow economics, although the booze count increased. Day one and two of Raya is kinda uneventful. Only money-grabbing kids came ding-dong'ing our house bell. That's not my department.

Oh, one thing I would tell, is that I had the sniffles right about noon of the first day. And it's still here. Yes yes, I should go to the doc. I'd tell more, but why the hell should I disclose my health to the internet?

Watching Pablo's Raya pictures, I'm glad that she had a good raya with her friends. Glad that she's smiling. Nothing else can top that. Cute baju kurung too, Pabs.

Gomen, had to run off to the kitchen tadi. Had to peel off the eggshells for the nasi lemak my mom is making. Oh, Michigan dude is in Kangar, and he's dropping by for a visit. So there.

In the meantime, what else should I talk about? Pictures? Naah, no pics.

I can't believe that tomorrow's going to be 6th. The day I go back to Shah Alam.

Heh, almost typed about my sniffles. No way, I tell myself. No way I'm typing up my ailments. Heh.

Ah, about homework. Basically, I'm screwed with the Socio paperwork. Ah, maybe I'll borrow Pablo's laptop and type up a miracle or two as soon as I get back. Maybe.

Really, cute pictures you have there, pablo. Say hi to dyna for me.

to Ibanez: Woi, awat hang senyap jer these past few days (or is it weeks?) I know la you must be busy doin' stuff. Hehe. I understand.

To Lase: Thanks for the raya wish. And you did a great job making those art. Can't wait to hear about the latest projects.

Looking around my tabletop, I looked at my surprise gift to my princess. No, it's not a teddy bear. I wanted to buy a teddy bear, but I-- aah, screw the excuses. I didn't get you a teddy bear, okay? I got you a SIM card instead. I would get you a teddy bear. But I tak sempat. At least, let me be your teddy bear.

Well, I guess that's it for now. The next blog update will be in Shah Alam. I'll be going there tomorrow morning, arrive around petang. Now, off to the kitchen.

RLC.

Family cat and selfishness

2005-11-01T03:30:00.000+08:00

"Emec and Jack"

Emec and company came to my house last night for some gaming-and-supper. They had my mom's Bihun Sup. Praises all over from them for my mom. Heh. And apparently, Emec has a liking to the family cat, Jack. Boys and cats... :p

.......................

I want to say "I love you" to her. I want to tell her I miss her so much. I want to hold her hands, I want to smell her sweet scent of her hair. I want to touch her soft cheeks, and feel her warmth.

But I can't. Even though she's a phonecall away, I can't just do that. She's having fun, or as they say, "having the shits and giggles." And it's a good thing. She's having fun, and I don't want her to have anything else. I know what it's like to be in the company of friends. The literal "shits and giggles." Even that phrase can evoke a smile. :p You can just feel the fun from being in the company. I understand.

Because of that understanding, sometimes I'm angry at myself. Why? Because sometimes I feel selfish. I feel like I want her all for myself. I don't want her to have a good time with her friends, I want her to be by my side. Dammit, I hate this selfish feeling.

Thankfully I am successful in quelling this feeling. This is the worst feeling someone should have, and I am proud to say that I can control this feeling. I try to put myself in her shoes, and I know she deserves a whole lotta fun and giggles. :)

I guess why this selfishness floats might be because of not being near her, not being with her. Every sunrise reminds me of her, every beat of my heart only calls out her name. Man, I hate being selfish. :p It stinks.

I hope my princess is having the time of her life with her girls. This is her moment to shine in the sun. I bet she's glowing from the laughter her friends provide. I bet she's having one helluva tummy ache trying to keep the giggles from exploding out her tummy. I bet she's smiling. She always look beautiful when she smiles. I know.

In other news, Happy Deepavali, people. Go light up a firework or two. And Raya is around the corner too. The usual stuff will come. Oh, the booze count is up by one box. Oh yeah.

But somehow this year's raya is a bit of a downer. Yes, I have friends, I have my family, but I don't have my love near me. But all will be okay come 6th of November.

Ah.. me eyes are getting tired. Time to sign off.

Sigh.... I love you, sayang.

RLC.

True Love

2005-10-29T01:45:00.000+08:00

Been surfing here and there, and I went to Yasmin Ahmad's blog. If you don't know who she is, she's the director of Sepet and the upcoming Gubra, as well as countless adverts on TV during any celebrations. Y'know, the Petronas adverts.

Apparently she's a poet, and she likes to put some poems up in her blog. One poem caught my attention, so I'm gonna put it up here. You can surf to her blog and check the rest of her favorite poems.

"True love" - Wislawa Szymborska

True love. Is it normal,
is it serious, is it practical?
What does the world get from two people
who exist in a world of their own?

Placed on the same pedestal for no good reason,
drawn randomly from millions but convinced
it had to happen this way - in reward for what?
For nothing.
The light descends from nowhere.
Why on these two and not on others?
Doesn't this outrage justice? Yes it does.
Doesn't it disrupt our painstakingly erected principles,
and cast the moral from the peak? Yes on both accounts.

Look at the happy couple.
Couldn't they at least try to hide it,
fake a little depression for their friends' sake?
Listen to them laughing - its an insult.
The language they use - deceptively clear.
And their little celebrations, rituals,
the elaborate mutual routines -
it's obviously a plot behind the human race's back!

It's hard even to guess how far things might go
if people start to follow their example.
What could religion and poetry count on?
What would be remembered? What renounced?
Who'd want to stay within bounds?

True love. Is it really necessary?
Tact and common sense tell us to pass over it in silence,
like a scandal in Life's highest circles.
Perfectly good children are born without its help.
It couldn't populate the planet in a million years,
it comes along so rarely.

Let the people who never find true love
keep saying that there's no such thing.

Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.

Oh well, good night people. Off to sleep.

Oh yeah, my bro managed to buy Soul Calibur 3 and Resident Evil 4. Will play tomorrow, if not tonight. :p

RLC.

1 hour 55 minutes

2005-10-27T02:37:00.000+08:00

I wonder what will the phone bill look like with a call that lasts that that long. Simply put, that's almost two hours of talktime. To a cellphone, no less. Oh well, we'll see it soon.

In other news... Uh, what other news? I can only think of my princess. Sigh....

Think, think. Oh yeah, I don't know if my 500-bucks will come into my bank account. Huh? what $500?

Well, in Cemara, all sudents living there has to fill up this form where the university will give around $500 in two payments. Why? Akasia-Cemara doesn't have a mess hall (dewan makan.) I don't know why, but it's not there. So the university gives out pocket money for our meals.

As for me, I didn't fill the form up and send it. I just let it slide. But it came back to haunt me later. My people found out that I didn't send the form. It turns out that the boys rang the Treasury to find out why they are late recieving their second payment. The treasury pointed out that there were two people who didn't send in the forms and because of that, they witheld the payment. I was one of the two who didn't send the form.

So it turns out, that I will get my $500 in one lump sum, as opposed to two payments of 200 and 300 early and later in the semester. Am I happy? Partially.

If I do get the money, I want to buy another phone using that money. Not the fancy-schmancy phones, but a real, working phone. And two Hotlink simpacks, for me and my princess. I bleeping hate DiGi's guts, if you people haven't noticed it yet.

But I don't want to allow myself to angan-angan. It only hurts. So it's better to think that the money won't come. If it did, then it's good la. But if it's not, it's not the end of the world, right?

I wonder what's my princess is dreaming right now. Hold on to that teddy bear, sayang. And don't forget to wear that jacket, Shah Alam's been raining. I wish I could be there to hug you and keep you warm.

RLC.

Screwing | Half-naked | gaming | Missing her so much

2005-10-25T10:20:00.000+08:00

I just finished my Literature homework and already emailed it to her. (Screw that bee-atch.) If you want to hear me whine, you can go to Ichigenhanku for more unnecessary info.

(I'm looking at her photo. I miss her so much. She looks so cute. I love my princess.)

Oh yeah, I haven't ofiicially blogged about me being back at home already. Well, here I am, back at home. Truly, that's like the least useful information the human race can use.

But hey, I'm here, happily half naked. Hey, this household has only one woman figure: my mom. She doesn't care about us half naked. We're her sons. She gave birth to us. For people who's eww-ing over the half naked thing: screw you.

Gah, nothing to do at home. Oh yeah, homework. Too bad they don't take care of themselves.

(man, why the hell I'm too harsh in my writing today? Sayang, tolong!)

I guess this is because I miss her so much. Her pictures grace my monitor. Her jacket is over my body. When I miss her too much, I just pick up the phone and call. 20 minutes is too bleeping short, an hour plus also sometimes feels like it's not enough.

I thank God (and the US military) for the Internet. Voice chat for hours, baby!

In other news, I'm stuck fighting the insurgents in Full Spectrum Warrior. I don't know how to get past this one area which is blocked by two armors (that's Marine talk for tanks). I'm taking a brake for a while lah.

Also can't wait to go to Alor Star. One is baju Raya Shopping, but the one true thing is the bi-annual Storming the Game Shop and Looting Their Game Collection (that's gamer talk for buying lots and lots of new games.) Sigh...

Sayang, I love you so much. I miss you so much. You don't worry yek, especially about your home. She's fine, she's okay. I bet she gets better if you talk to her on the phone. Just for another month or so, you'll be going home. Take care of her. Love her. Oh, kirim salam to her from me.

Jeez, I better hit the showers. I want to get a haircut today.

Sayang, I love you. Miss you. Take care.

RLC.

( I realized that the blog title, and the contents itself, is kinda weird. I'm sorry people. I'm sorry, Sayang. I miss you so much, that's all.)

A short note from home

2005-10-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

Oh, I'm back home already. Nothing to talk about yet. the usual lethargy when at home sets in the minute your foot steps inside the house. Will post something later lah.

Mickey Dee's Ribs?

2005-10-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

(Light & Easy is on right now, and I'm missing my Princess. Sigh.)

Another day of puasa, and it's kinda boring. We're already knee-deep in the routines, and that's the way we like it. Get up early, eat, sleep (oh, okay, subuh prayers), spend the day, buy food, break fast, don't forget the prayers, and then sleep. Ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Oh yeah, last night's breaking of fast was crazy. I finally lived a childhood dream. hell, any sane kid would be dreaming of it, and I managed to live it.

(this blog was written on saturday night. Yes, I don't have a freaking night life. Screw you. I'm missing my princess nih.)

Last night was crazy. We had a test earlier in the afternoon. Pfft, it was billed as a "open-book assignment." Hello? Main Hall, Rows and rows of desks + chairs, tension filling the room? The only thing that stopped it from being a real "test" test was that it's only 20 marks. Yeah, whatever.

Besides, it was kinda a bad day. Masam faces everywhere, mine included. It didn't help that we got into an argument too. Thank God that the argument was settled before the day was over. And I guess I wanted to celebrate the end of a day, so why not celebrate it with friends and in a good place?

So We rang up Amoi and asked her to join us. But where to eat...?

It so happens that Mickey Dee's (that's "McDonalds" for people who don't understand gangster-talk) is doing a buffet buka puasa thingie. 18 bucks per head. Crazy sial. So there we were, the three of us, inside McD. Fifty-plus dollars flew away, but we didn't knew what was in store for us. The people there just said, "order anything in the menu." Uh-huh. Okay. Our first orders were at average, three burgers per person, two drinks and lots of stuff in between.

I never thought I could stuff a lot of burgers in just one sitting. Now I know.

Even after our initial trays were finished, I went down and took some more. Hey, this is a buffet thing after all. I paid 18 bucks! I don't want to eat "just a few" burgers. I want to stuff my face silly! In just one hour!

And stuff we did. You people remember the picture where the snake blew itself apart after it swallowed the 'gator whole? That was my mental image of myself at that time. My "poring" stomach grew out of proportions. Hah!

But we had lots of fun. I mean, I could never had a more than two burgers in one go, and then I'm having the whole stock all by myself! Childhood dream came true, I tell ya.

Okay la, I know I sound like this gluttonous kid. I ask for your apology. It was fun experiencing it, but it's not fun telling it back, especially when I sound like some 10-year old obese. I'm sorry, people.

I guess for my gluttonous exploits, I have felt payback. I always keep this mantra, "God pays back in cash form," which means he throws the proverbial lighting at me right here, right now. Now I feel like my ribs hurt. I can't draw a deep breath without feeling pain in the lower right ribs. I can't laugh at my princess' jokes without a grimace in my face. I can't stretch back without it jabbing. And this makes my princess worry. I'm sorry, sayang. Please don't worry.

In other news, my princess is doing something that involves a selling of stuff in SFX tomorrow morning. And it involves kuih. Damn, I'm a sucker for kuih. Wish she'd save some for me, but I'm puasa-ing ler, sayang. Sigh.

Oh yeah, my new spectacle broke! WTF?! It sounds silly, my new spectacle broken even before I got it back to Kangar. Aih. The story goes like this: I was reading a book beside my bed. Then I wanted to stretch. I took off my spectacle and put it on the mattress. I stretched and then put down my arm on the mattress, hard. I heard a crack and then I knew I had broke my specs, again.

If the specs was any other spec, I'd shrug it off. But it ain't any other spec: it was a frameless clip-on, but more important than that, my Princess was with me when we picked the frame and all, so it's the sentimental value that's important. Of course I bawled like hell. Even my princess became worried. I'm sorry sayang, I had to kacau you during your meeting.

This morning we went back to the shop. Thankfully it'll only cost about 75 bucks to remake the lens. So, all's well in the end.

So I guess that's it for this blog entry. I'm getting tired easily nowadays. Maybe it's the tummy processing the food.

I know that my dreams tonight will be of my princess. I hope she'll have a good time over there. I love you, sayang. Let's meet up in dreamland, and let's hold hands. Sigh. I love you.

3rd time posting this shit in the Lab..grrr

2005-10-13T12:21:00.000+08:00

Eight days of fasting ain't nothing much, right? I mean, it's just a week plus of refrain. Hell, even my cat can do that.

Cruelty to animals notwithstanding, These eight days are full of ups and downs than could challenge a roller-coaster or two. Well, let me try to write down theses eight days, if I still remember some of those...

(And no, I don't advocate cruelty to animals. Don't you dare unleash PETA to my house, I'll shoot them with my shotgun.)

Have I talked about day 1? Oh the traffic, the hellish traffic. Well, Hades' Highway is still on high. The angels of PDRM and MBSA trying to control the situation, with so-so results.

Day Two was nothing much, too. Except it was the third week anniversary of RLC. I even almost forgot what day it is until Pablo reminded me. And yes Pabs, I still remember clover.

Speaking of which, today (thursday) is the one month anniversary of RLC. Pablo, don't you forget clover, ok? Make sure!

In Day Three we had a quiz. Quite a challenge to our puasa, as it's sweltering heat ain't helping us much. Oh, the Main Hall's air-conditioned, so that's a healing salve for us. I think after the quiz, I got news that my friend was hospitalized.

Who am I talking about? Well, it's Amoi (Azlin). For the long-time readers of the blog, you'd remember the time where I broke the National Security procedures and just name names ONLINE? I was angry and I just wanted to let the steam out. I got unceremoniously dumped by her, and that was a story from a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. you can still read that particular blog, I think it's around February. Click the archives on the right side of the blog and check it out.

It turned out that she was hospitalized for something that has something to do with the kidneys. I don't know. But I can only wish for her health, because I can't do anything at that time.

Day four was something. My girl felt sick that day and I enlisted Giant to get her to the clinic in Main Campus. As it was saturday, we found out that the clinic was closed. Oh well. We'll try the sec.7 Polyclinic then. Closed too?! Gah! So where else ah..? the Klang Hospital? Hey, we can go visit Amoi at the same time too...

So off we went to Klang to find treatment for my girl. We looked around for the outpatient place at the hospital, but it was nowhere to be found. My girl had the unfortunate luck to walk around the hospital in her sick condition. We kinda saw the outpatient section... But it was being demolished. WTF?!

So we sat back at the hospital lobby, trying to think of a way to get treatment. Lo and behold, I saw the notice saying that the outpatient treatment was at the Health Center back in town. Gah! So I guess the visit to Amoi was burned that morning.

Off we went to the Health Center in Klang town. My girl just slept at the back of Giant's car as we drove there. Poor girl. As we reached there, I saw that the gates for the Health Center was closed too! GAAAH! I broke the bad news to my girl, who actually didn't care about anything anymore. Besides, she said that she was feeling a bit better after all that walking and sleeping behind the car. Poor girl. If you're reading this, I love you, Sayang.

Frankly ler, I think my girl is happy that we didn't get treatment in Klang. She hates that place with a passion. She got warded there once for Dengue Fever. I could only imagine the hell she'd been through. I also hated Klang. That city is a shithole of congestion. Buildings so close to each other, and traffic is bleepin' crazy. The only thing I like about Klang (and the very thing that my girl hates) is the Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah, Klang, a.k.a. Klang Hospital, a.k.a. The Only Hospital In This Area And Shah Alam Don't Need One. Yes sayang, I'm still bitter about this.

Well, the rest of the day was spent to make sure that my Sayang got the rest she needed. It was around 5 that Giant, Pabs and I got together and went to the pasar ramadhan. We bought some food and we planned to break the fast with Amoi in the hospital.

She was happy to see us visit her. As does anyone who was hospitalized, the only thing they want is just human contact. And we gladly provided that. We laughed and talked and ate and laughed some more. We even took pictures, which included Amoi in the hospital gown, and it ain't pretty.

Finally I managed to talk to Amoi heart-to-heart. She apologized for the past and I apologized for the past. She explained the things that had happened in February. Finally, we settled it all, and we became friends once more. It feels good to talk to friends.

Day Five was a no-event, if you did not count some of the private stuffs. But no, I'm not gonna tell about it. I'm filing it under "Matters of the Heart" section. And that's that.

Oh, we all got together and had breaking of the fast. Amoi got out of the hospital already, although she's not able to fast. But like we care about that. We bought the food together and we ate it together. It was me and Pablo, Amoi and Nagor, and Giant and his girl. Damn, we had fun that night.

Day Six, Seven and Eight was a total mish-mash. I didn't remember what happened, only knew that we had a shitload of tests, assignments, presentation, etc. Alah, y'know, Hell in a handbasket. And the shitload ain't gonna stop there. Maybe it's gonna overflow to days Nine to Fifteen. Whee. Loads of Fun.

The only thought in my mind right now, to keep me from going insane, is about my girl. I love her so much, and if I could give the world to her, I would. She is the reason for my life. I am truly blessed to be loved by this beauty. Sayang, I am lucky to have you as my love. I love you.

Gah, I can actually imagine the readers already puking their meals on the keyboard as they read that sappy paragraph. I'm sorry, guys.

My conciousness is leaving me yet again, and I think this is a good time to end this entry. i hope you all had fun reading it, as well as wiping your keyboard off all the puke.

have a good puasa, guys. Ciao.

RLC

Ramadan Blues

2005-10-06T16:38:00.000+08:00

It's 5.44am now, the second day of the 30-or-so days of the fasting months, aka Ramadan.

To me, Ramadan means family time, time to get together. Sadly, as we're in the middle of the semester, it's not possible.

Actually, it's the butt-end of the semester. Finals are approaching fast, and so does the crunch time for finishing homeworks and assignments. So I guess the Fasting Month is a kinda of closure to the semester. Hm.

Oh, this is my first time fasting in Shah Alam, and my fourth outside from my home. And it's kinda tough to adapt.

I can't remember my first time of fasting outside Perlis. I know it was during my MMU days. I totally cannot recall my first Puasa over there. But I still remember the consecutive Puasas over the years.

I guess I was in the Taman Melawis house. I remember getting up in the wee hours to go get the sahur food. We had to walk (or cycle, we had bikes) up to the front of the housing area and eat at RSU or that PAS-supporters' diner. Political affiliations aside, we had a good meal, in the mist of morning. Yes, it's really cold at 4am, but we have the warmth of our friends to survive the morning. Always being together through thick and thin. Ah, the good ol' days.

The breaking of the fast is a colorful affair too. Food are always abundant, and colorful. One could get dizzy just looking at the food, or maybe it's just the hunger pangs that struck at the worst possible moment, heh.

I guess Shah Alam is no different after all. It's a bigger, nastier place, but the magic is still there. Colorful food in the evening, cold temperature in the morning, and the warmth of friends all around.

As yesterday was the first day of puasa, it was kinda hellish. Not about me, but the city. The traffic was a killer. People racing to get back home. Could you believe that the road was congested? But then again, this is a city, and this is expected. Oh god, the traffic jams...

I guess, as the days roll by, we'll get used to this. It was just day one. I guess things will get better today, and the day after. It always have.

In other news, I was in stitches after listening to Pablo's rendition of ABBA's "Thank you for the music." All I can say is, you have to see it for yourself. I mean, it was her expression that was the killer. And the song itself, my god.

Oh, my dad's comin' to town today. Atok Jabar's getting sick again, and he's at my uncle's house in Sungai Buloh. Sigh. I'm gonna pick up my dad and go to Sg.Buloh together.

RLC.

Bright lights and her smile

2005-10-03T10:10:00.000+08:00

It's past midnight and I'm still up. It's been a journey of roller-coaster proportions, more of the emotional standpoint than the physical. I'm writing this on my rommie's PC. I just want unload; try to write everything that I have written down on my phone, my only notepad.

About the roller-coaster, I can't say much about it. It was a three-day journey, full of ups and downs. Mostly it was up, but the downs are painful too.

Okay, next business. Tonight, Giant invited me to follow him to Putrajaya to see his mom. I was in a contemplating mood so followed him. I never thought a simple trip would mean me looking back at my life.

As we were on the highway, the lights from buildings faraway shines, and I was hypnotized by it. It made me wonder about a lot of things, especially about my relationship. I know I love her. But why am I prone to make stupid mistakes over and over again? "I feel guilty making her cry," I said to myself as I looked at the city lights.

Putrajaya was a nice sight at night. The bright lights make it look like an oasis in the middle of the palm-oil tree desert. Again the lights mesmerize me. But all I could think of is her. How is she doing? Is she okay? God, I love her. My face turned into a half-stare. Eyes half-closed, mouth half open, and the body shivering. Now I know what she feels like at the bus stop earlier tonight. Now I know how her face feels.

As the car drove by the magnificent buildings, I wondered about her. How is she doing? How is she holding up? What is she doing now? How's her feeling? But the biggest thing that I wondered was, "what's her view right now?" I'm looking at magnificent buildings and bright lights. We love to see these kind of things together. I guess I was feeling lonely and I missed her, for she was not by my side as we drove by the lights.

After meeting Giant's mom, we headed out back. Suddenly, I wanted to see something. "Dude, can we go to the airport? I just wanna have a look." Thankfully Giant was accommodating, and he drove to KLIA.

As we passed by the terminal, I saw some planes parked by the terminal. I was like a little kid, mesmerized by those big aeroplanes. But at the same time, a tear was flowing down my cheek. I didn't realize I cried. And I don't know why. I could guess that it might be something that will happen soon, and I am dreading it. Again, my thoughts are turned to her as we made the final lap around the terminal.

I love her so much, and I would give everything in the world to make her smile again.

We got back to Shah Alam around midnight, and here I am trying to write it all down. It's way past my bedtime, and I'm thinking that I want to come a bit late to class tomorrow. Maybe, just maybe.

Addendum:
Haiya si Lase nih... Ada ka Tesco. TESCO! Well, of course la Sushi King.. We'll call you when we get the real chance. For now, don't cry. :p

Of failed trips and a stupid dinner event

2005-10-02T13:39:00.000+08:00

At the behest of Pablo who's forcing me to blog, here I am, blogging again. (Gee, that sounds so sincere.)

Well, anyway, I wanted to blog. I haven't blog in ages, sial. Distracted, maa. There's a lot of stuff going on in my life, it's hard to get a bearing. And yes, you might point out to Pablo, my own classmate, and say, "see? She can update her blog regularly? Why can't you?" Uh, yeah.

Lessee, what's on the table of my life right now...

Oh yeah, I need to explain about the trip-that-wasn't-meant-to-be and calm Lase down (the comment box of the previous entry.) You see, we planned to go to Melaka (oh hey, it's this weekend pulak tu, damn) but there's a lot of stuff going on in school that's practically rendering us incapacitated to even think about Melaka. Sigh. School observation, for one thing, and don't mention the quizzes too. Sigh. And then there's this "supposed" dinner event that we have to go. I'll talk about it later.

But because of these hiccups, we just can't. Now it's just a pipe dream of ours. So at least let me tell about the dreams...

It's so simple, it's ridiculous. We're just gonna get an early bus to Melaka from shah Alam, and from here, lase will pick us up in her car. And we don't actually care if your car's aircon is busted, Lase. We love you, not your car. And then she'll just drive us around melaka, or maybe just giving a sight-seeing tour of MMU (as for me, it'll be a walk along memory lane, *sniff*). Hell, we don't care what you want to do with us, Lase (well, except for selling us to the slave traders for a quick buck. That's a no-no.) We just want to spend some quality (and yet short) time with Lase.

And even that is hard to get. Sigh. The plan ends simply again by getting 6pm bus back to Shah Alam. Now, don't you feel that it SOUNDS simple? Sigh. Maybe next time la. Next time.

So, a thousand apologies to Lase, for not being able to go to Melaka. We're sorry that we had to break the news to you on the comment box, no less. Insya-Allah, next time, expect to see me and Pablo in Melaka. Insya-Allah.

Next story is about the "supposed" dinner event.

Some of our 'mates in Class A wants to do a dinner event, and invited us to join in. For the first time, Pablo and I really didn't jump into that event. We were so wary and had bad feelings about this dinner event. We don't know why. The dinner is going be held in Klang Executive Club (KEC) and initially we had to pay RM50 for it. And it's supposed to be tonight (2nd October). The first time we heard that we have to pay 50 bucks, our hearts sank. Fifty bucks?! Crazy. Right there and then we said no, just because of the hefty pay. But the organizers relented and finally lowered the fee to 35 bucks, which is still hefty, IMO.

Sorry to say, the organizers are my Melaka classmates. I felt that it's kinda rude to say no to their invitation, because they are my friends and we were together, thick and thin, in Melaka. I finally relented and said yes. And I had to persuade Pablo too to join me, and we paid the 70 bucks. It was not an easy seventy bucks we had to fork out. we were having a ton of bad feelings as we handed the money. Jeez.

After a while, I found out that the organizers allowed outside people to come, as in by invitation la (like a girlfriend or boyfriend of somebody). It hadn't dawned to me yet at that time, that there will be outside eyes who will spy on us.

One of the people here, (jeez, i refered to him as "people." He was my classmate at Melaka fer chrissakes. I guess I'm detached from him already. Maybe I have detached myself from every one of my Melaka classmates. Oh well.) Back to the story. He has a girlfriend, but she's from Melaka Campus. And she's a genuine Largemouth Bass. As in she tells. Can't-keep-secrets kind of a girl. Sheesh. And I saw her just last night. Then it dawned to me why they had an open invitation to outsiders. It was then that I felt I didn't want to go to the dinner event.

I called Pablo and voiced out my concern. Incidentally she also feels that she doesn't want to go to the dinner too. Besides, it's in Klang. She hates that town. Actually, I hate that town too.

So here are we now, two would-be liars. We'll call the organizers just before our departure time and tell that we can't go because of last-minute stuff that's going on. And frankly, Pablo and I don't feel a bit guilty about lying to them, or that we'll burn our 70 bucks. We just don't want to go to the dinner event.

To summarize, let me list out why we don't want to go:

Bad feeling from day one
High cost
Outside people
Spies
Detached from old friends (?)
Hates Klang

I guess that's it. Call us liars. We don't care.

Oh, pablo's sitting next to me right now. She's just finished her CSS meeting. Say something, Pabs.

pabs: It was food testing la. Saw Koci for the first time. There's this three layered kuih that nobody knows the name of and is still figuring out what to call it. The first layer is tapioca, then pandan, then kaya and then pulut. I just call it...IT.
Ei? Why am I here? Gah!
That's for MY post....

...Cakap banyak la dia nih...sigh...

Picture dump:

Huh? Huh?

2005-09-25T16:04:00.000+08:00

Aih, just finished reading a Legendary Thread in 4chan. Penat.

Pab's is in Akasia now, helping her friends with their drama show props.

Gah, one-line updates? Well, that's what you get when there's ablosutely nothing to talk about. My mind is all over the place, yet, it's like nowhere.

Actually, there's a lot to talk about. It's just that I don't want to talk about. Private stuff. Stuff of the heart. :)

Let's try to divert the attention of the readers with something else then:

Trip to Melaka:
Time runs short, we only have one week left before Puasa comes. There's this one plan, but I haven't contacted Lase, and worse off, we have some frickin' event around the first weekend of October, and a big quiz too. Oh well, I'll just tell the plan here right now.

Pabs and I will just go to Melaka by bus, and spend the day with Lase there. We don't care for aircon-less car. We go back to Shah Alam by six.

But alas, a simple plan FUBAR'd by circumstance. Next semester then.

Talking about Lase, Pabs pointed out to me about one of Lase's post. She's kinda worried about her sister, and understand that. The post is full of SDBs (an acronym of something Pabs and I cooked up. No, I'm not gonna tell what it is.) Of course, I'm worried for her too. I just read the aforementioned post just now, and I am kinda worried. But I think she got over it already as it was a few days old, and there's new posts above.

If her post was directed at someone, I have no comment. But if it's directed at herself, All i can do is this: /..\

To Lase: if anything, just call us. Pabs is here, so am I. Hell, you have others who love you more than us. I hope that you're all a-okay for now.

What else, ah...

Geez, I'm taking a long time to write this one blog..gah.

Man, I miss my princess.

Linkdump:
http://www.gimpshop.net/
http://plasticbugs.com/?p=241
http://xpcodecpack.com/
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/science/20curs.html

Not long enough :p

2005-09-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

I’m dead tired (as always) but I’ll try to blog anyway. There’s a lot to write about, especially about the stuff that has happened in the last week. One whole freaking week, and it was kinda hellish. Some stuff I just can’t tell, most of the stuff I will tell. Besides, Pablo issued a challenge to me to out-write the previous blog. I don’t know if I could to that tonight (it took me one whole day to write a two-thousand-plus entry…)

I guess the bulk of the week’s story will be censored, which turns out will be around 60% of the whole blog. So with that’s settled…

Let’s just move on to the weekend.

Saturday was a blast. Pablo and I initially wanted to go the campus clinic up in Main Campus, and right after that we plan to go see Giant play handball. We waited at the Jati College outside of Main Campus, and waited for the feeder bus that goes inside the campus periodically. Somehow we underestimated our simple ride…

The feeder bus was supposed to go to the FTMSK line, which means: the bus goes through the FTMSK (Faculty of information technology and quantitative sciences), past the Engineering Faculty, and past a few colleges (colleges here means hostel blocks), past the clinic, past the Seroja College, and out again to Jati College. The main campus is bleeping big, and my description here does not actually reflect the sheer size of the place. The Main Campus is actually Section 1, so it’s big big.

The underestimation here came when we didn’t realize that the bus would be filled to the brim with students who want to go out of campus. Somehow, every time I’m in a bus full of people, I’m reminded of a stupid accident in UUM. Filled to the brim with people, uh-huh. Anyway, as the bus is full, we realized that we were seated at the back of the bus, basically a veritable wall of human. To add to the insult, the bus did not even stop at the clinic. It just goes by, and we just sat there looking out of the window like two idiots. We even idiotically contemplated not to get off the bus and instead take another pointless bus ride around the campus again, and making us more the idiot.

But alas, idiocy has its limits, and besides, God has other plans for the both of us, being a couple of idiots notwithstanding.

So off we go to the City of Lights, Kay El. But before that, we had to SMS our handball-playing friend that we won’t be at his game. To make the story short, I found out the next day that he wasn’t even at the game, as it was cancelled. *groan*.

What did we do in KL? Like any other idiot KL-ites, we went to catch a movie. What movie? “All about my dog.” Uh-huh. I don’t do dogs. But then again, Pabs was begging for us to catch it, and I figured it was a good time to see it. I just can’t stand it that we were pushing our luck. We wanted to see the movie earlier, but previous engagements made that impossible. And it was our luck that the movie is still there.

My cover-line was “that movie is boring,” I nonchalantly say as I discreetly wiped my tears away. Oh yeah, I cried. I didn’t expect I’d cry over a simple movie. But cry we did. It was an emotional roller-coaster. Ah, I’m too tired to actually write the review. Ask Pablo next time. She’s a dog person.

After the movie, we went back home.

The next day was another roller-coaster, but of a different sorts. Oh, forgot to tell, Pabs came to Akasia College (just next door to Cemara College) and did the girlie slumber party there, invited by her friends. She still hates Akasia.

The next day both of us went to St. Francis Xavier’s Church in PJ. Initially the plan was for me to sit at the sidelines and just watch the Mass. Things kinda got outta hand and I found myself in the middle of a thousand-strong Catholics knee-deep in mass. Yes, I went to mass. Crazy sial. I couldn’t believe that I was there. Mass! My inner PAS conservative was screaming “this is crazy!” but my UMNO side actually looked at this experience in a positive way and decided to go on with it.

I was a bit apprehensive, and Pablo didn’t help at all. In fact, she even teased that the father would come to me and I had to introduce myself to over a thousand Catholics, when I wanted to be anonymous there. Jeez, Pabs, thanks a bunch.

But it was a good experience nonetheless. It opened my eyes on what is actually happening in Mass, and I also learned a bit about Pablo’s life. Also, I found out that she’s a good singer when she sang the hymns and whatnot. Pabs, you’re a great singer. UiTM Idol 2006, here she comes.

We had to stand up and sit down for a few times. It was a pointless exercise, but it was better than kneeling (I have a bad knee, and I’m really, really apprehensive kneeling down). We sang a few hymns, actually, Pablo did. I just mouthed out some silent nothingness. Still apprehensive. The father talked about God (what else?!) and he’s very updated, talking about pirated dvds and such. Painful, like a needle seared in my chest.

In the end, I found myself in awe over such an event. It might be simple, but I really appreciate the experience. Somehow, it made me appreciate Islam even more. I was so proud being a Malaysian that morning.

During the whole mass, I felt a tingling sensation in my soul. It’s like I’m liberated or something. I felt like I was given wings. My whole body was shaking as we sang and as the father read an excerpt from Isaiah. My soul was experiencing something. I was… I was… I was hungry.

After the mass we went back to Cemara (fondly dubbed Cemar-a by pabs) we had a bite and then we rushed to Main campus, for the Convocation ceremony of Pabs’ homie, Beba.

Oh, have I talked about how I hate convocations so much? I cry every time. Well, The afternoon was Beba’s, and I don’t want to steal her thunder. We celebrated her graduation and we took pictures. And it didn’t help that earlier when we were at Cemara, we were caught in a drizzle, so we kinda looked, and felt like crap. But it was all smiles as Beba makes her way towards us in her robe and mortarboard. Again I did a cover-line. Aih. Damn, I’m too sensitive over this thing.

Oh well, that was the week in review. I apologize for the omissions, but it was too private to be inside the blog. Maybe next time.

Weekend travelogue

2005-09-08T01:26:00.000+08:00

I’m back, with a bang this time. I should apologize for the lack of blogs lately, but that’s how life goes. They throw you a curveball and we strike out. Yeah yeah, unlike Pablo who has a thriving blog, my blog is the Deadwood of blogger.com.

Oh, I’m back at home, actually. Midterm break. I’m here dishing ample love to my PC. I’d invite Pablo to Kangar, but she has other events happening. Check her blog for her hijinks in the midterms.

This entry won’t be like any other entry. This time I’m gonna tell you what had happened during the last weekend, from 2^nd September to 5^th September 2005. Four days is four days, but it felt like an eternity for me. And by the looks of it, this entry will be an eternity to read too. I’ll put up cute picture to break up the texts.

2^nd of September started out innocently. As I wake up, dawn has just started her beautiful routine without fail. The morning’s event was a tight one: Fill up that scholarship form, get the express mail from my buddy in Main Campus, send the form, and wait for Friday Prayers. I also learned previously that Pablo was slated to go to Genting Highlands, and I want to be by her and send her off.

As is with any plans, it always gets screwed. Chalk it up to the Big Kahuna up there, you sly fox you. It turned out that I did not have some of the information needed to finish up the form, even though the contents of the express mail did help some of the details. I thought I could send in the form by that day, but I had to concede defeat.

In the middle of the screw-up, it was time for Pablo’s departure. I borrowed my buddy’s Comeé Loteé (A cute nickname Pablo and I gave to his motorbike. Incidentally, it’s the same bike we used to go to Bon Odori), and went to see Pablo off. After the goodbye kisses we parted ways and I went back to Main campus, trying to finish up the scholarship form and finally accepting that it was a lost cause.

The real fun starts after Friday prayers. My buddy, Giant, and I prepare for our trip. His old Ford Escort was packed full with stuff and people. His girlfriend, another dude, and another girl. We left Shah Alam at 2.30pm. Our first stop was Bangi, to drop off the girlfriend. It was there that I realized I didn’t had lunch, and I proceeded to buy some lunch and ate in the car as we drove to Melaka.

We arrived in Alor Gajah around 5.30pm as we drove carefully. We went to the UiTM campus there to drop off the other girl. We took the time there to stretch and meet up on old friends. We left Alor Gajah at around 6pm, and started on our way to Johor Bahru.

The drive there was very challenging because the old car didn’t have good headlights and the wipers didn’t work at all. Our fears became a reality as we reached Ayer Hitam, where rain struck. Thankfully the rain was partial and we left the rain zone unscathed. But the real challenge was lying ahead as the sun begins to set. It was getting darker on the highway, and without a bright headlight, we just waded through the road blindly. We followed behind slow trucks so they could provide the headlights. When we hit another rain zone it was really scary. Wet and dark, we just prayed that we arrived safely.

Thankfully we reached JB at 8.30pm unscathed. Giant was relieved that we arrived in his hometown without any major incidents. Then it was another 30 minutes through the Pasir Gudang Highway to his house. On the way, he showed me the spot where he was knocked down and broke his leg, regaling me with the story of The Vegetable Truck and The Silver Kancil. The highway was jam-packed with vehicles as it was the main road that connects JB and Pasir Gudang. Crazy people, I tell you. They swerve in and out of the lanes, they drive fast in the slow lane, they drive slow in the fast lane, it’s crazy. Giant also points to the racing spots and drug dens along the highway.

As we reached his house, we were greeted by the kenduri tent being set up. I wasted no time and helped around as best as I could, even though we were tired. It was different with Giant, as he grumbled that we had arrived not less than one minute, and we already had to do menial jobs. Well, it was true. We were not given any refreshments or any rest at all before doing the job. Oh well. I’m not the one who grumbles about this because I actually love the kenduri atmosphere and enjoy being a part of the workforce. Giant has the right to grumble because it’s his own house, and his own family. Heheh.

I think it was around midnight that the work stopped. Giant’s dad told us to go and rest at one of his rental houses in the adjacent housing area. We only got mattresses and pillows and showers, and that’s good enough for me. I asked Giant how much does his dad put the rent rate of this house and he replied that it was about a thousand or so. I was shocked, but then again this is JB and these prices are normal.

Oh yeah, forgot to tell about the food we got after we finished the job for the night. It was the usual white rice and ayam masak merah, but there is another dish that interests me: sambal goreng. Um, I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s like a bowl of salad, fried. The ingredients include long beans, chilies, and tempe, among others. Pergh indeed. I mentioned to his mom that this was my favorite dish and his mom replied, “ni mesti Jawa nih.” Heh. She’s half-right actually. My dad is Johorean. Parit Sulong, Batu Pahat. I told her that my family likes to make the sambal during the Raya, and she smiled a knowing smile.

I woke up to a peaceful morning the next day. The sky was bright, compared to yesterday which was a light drizzle. I woke too early for my own good, and I didn’t want to wake up Giant. He deserved the rest. I took the morning by myself and went out for some fresh air. Yes, the air was fresh, but not the smell. Pasir Gudang is an industrial area, which means factories, factories, factories. There’s a certain smell that lingers in Pasir Gudang but I don’t know what to put my finger on. I just know that this day is gonna be a looong day.

We went back to the kenduri house at ten for breakfast. Well, you could call it lunch as we had a big meal prior to the kenduri. The dishes include Nasi Briyani, a staple kenduri dish, with the assorted lauk. One of the dishes includes Kurma Kambing, which I had a big helping of it. The only bad thing that happened that day was when we were having our meal.

In front of us, they set up big amps so they could play songs all day. I just so happens that they had to play the whole collection of Mawi songs. As some of you might know, I truly dislike Akademi Fantasia and any of its ilk. It’s not that I hate the contestants, but the over-hype is really…. Over-hyped. That POS doesn’t know to sing to save his life, let alone to entertain. Anyway, so here we were, sitting in front of a loud Mawi song. And I almost chocked on my nasi briyani. I grumbled under my breath and rolled my eyes as we munch on the meal. Unfortunately Giant managed to heard one of my grumbles which is “aku ni anti Mawi,” and he silently reminded me that this is Johor, Mawi’s hometown. There’s a lot of his fans here, and if I want to go back home safely, I’d better be quiet about it. I got that message loud and clear, and proceeded to shut my mouth. One grumble that I found interesting was “mawi mania: ad infinitium, ad nauseum.” Sigh.

After the meal, we started to work on the dishes. What do you expect, we’d sit around and goyang kaki? Hell no. I like helping around the kenduri. Besides, I haven’t done any kenduri dishwashing in like, ever. So this something I’d like to experience. Hehe. After a while, it started raining. Don’t know la if you consider the rain as a nuisance or a blessing. Maybe it’s good to consider it a blessing.

After a while of washing the dishes, it was finally time for me to leave Pasir Gudang. I washed my hands, and went to Giant’s mother. I said my goodbyes to her, all the while the kenduri guests are streaming in. I feel bad leaving the kenduri at peak hour, but I had to go to my next destination: Melaka.

Giant dropped me off at Larkin bus station. The place is quite big, comparable to Pudu bus station. I arrived there at 2.45 and I got the 3.45 bus. This means I have to wait for a while. I happily pulled out my radio and tuned to the Singapore radio stations. During my stay in JB, Giant introduced me to the magic of Singaporean media, more specifically, the radio. I love the quality of English their presenters. Top notch. Even the contents are better than of us. My choice of radio station was Symphony 92.4FM. It felt like I was the eye of the storm, as the hustle and bustle of the bus station was all around me. It was kinda peaceful and enjoyable, plugged in and listening to the symphonies while the outside world was being noisy as hell. The one hour I had to wait passed by quickly and by the time I realized, I’m on the bus, on the way to Melaka. The symphony accompanied me all the way as I say goodbye to Johor Bahru. Sigh.

I arrived in Melaka at around 6pm. Just like yesterday, I didn’t have the chance to rest, I went straight to work. And just like yesterday, I actually liked the job. The venue was at the Istana Budaya (or what I think was the actually name, I dunno.) The prominent landmark nearby was the gateway over the Lebuh Ayer Keroh with the three towers. I told the bus driver to drop me off there and I proceeded to walk to the venue. The theatre was huge. The cast and crew were setting up the stuff. I picked up the camcorder and tripod, and set up at the appointed spot. I don’t know why they want me to be the cameraman, but I’m grateful nonetheless. I later found out that it was the main star of the show who wanted me to record the show. I recorded his performance last semester when they came to Shah Alam, and he trusted me to record this show. I’m really flattered and honored by his trust, and I intend not to disappoint him.

The show ended around half past ten, and the cleanup was until midnight. My lecturer and I had to send some of the crew and cast to the bus station before we headed back to her house for the much needed shut eye.

Thankfully, I got some time-off on Sunday. My lecturer let me sleep in until noon. Around 4pm, we went to Tesco to buy some groceries for her house. I waited for Giant to fetch me and drive back to Shah Alam. He arrived at around 7pm. We entertained him a bit until it was time for us to leave. We left Melaka at 9pm.

The story didn’t end to well in Shah Alam. We arrived in Cemara college at 11pm. We were dead tired. Forgot to tell, Giant got another car. This time it’s a Daihatsu Charade Aura. It’s comfortable, but more importantly, it’s road-worthy. Working headlights, wipers and air-conditioning. Back to Cemara. When I got to my floor, I found out that my the house door was padlocked. Oh great. My important documents are all inside the house and I need to bring it back to Kangar. I called my housemate (who actually installed the padlock) but nobody answered. I was so mad at them for not actually telling me when they installed the padlock, and where was the key. I was so angry at them. I shook at the door, trying to rip the padlock loose. After a few tries, the padlock finally broke in half. And it only took me 20 minutes to ‘rip’ the door apart. I got in the house, picked up the documents, grabbed some stuff, and slept at Giant’s room next door.

The next day I got the sms from the no-use roomie of mine, telling me the location of the key. Hello? I tried to bleeping call you last night and sms you, but nothing happened. I ripped the padlock off, told him I ripped it off, and he just couldn’t believe it. What a pansy. I need my documents, and you bleeping padlocked the house without bleeping telling me about it. He should have told me as soon as he installed it, not letting me found out for myself. Because of that one bleeping mistake of yours, your precious bleeping padlock was ripped it half. Bleep you.

My bus going back home was at 9am, Monday morning. Giant sent me to the bus stand. I prayed my thanks as I settled down at my seat in the bus. The ride back home was uneventful enough, but I managed to entertain myself by reading Nick Sparks’ Message in the Bottle, and listening to the radio. Thankfully I was distracted by the mountain formations of the Titiwangsa Range and the limestone hills of Ipoh. I never get tired of seeing them. Although I always say that the most boring section of traveling through the highway is in Perak, I actually love seeing the hills that dot the scenery. Beautiful, just beautiful. As an added bonus, the weather was clear. Sunshine, all the way home.

The bus arrived in Kangar at around 5pm. Surprisingly, I saw that the bus was on the road leading to my house. I decided that I should ask the driver to stop there. It turned out that the driver was actually turning off the road and into another road, missing my house just by a few hundred meters. Oh well. That’s a failed gamble, but I’m not bitter. Alah, just a short walk from the curb, just past the school, bridge, and voila! Home.

Well, that’s the whole story. As promised. 2^nd September to 5^th September. No, I won’t tell the rest of the day after I arrived home. That’s only for me. My private life, my home.

Of course there’s lots of omission in the story, but all that are minor events, better left out of the story. Hell, all of the main points of the essay above were originally written in my cellphone, shorthand. Every time something big happens, I write it down. Then again, there were also times where I actually forgot the details, and for that, I apologize.

Also, here’s one last apology for the oh-so-long blog entry today. I promised I’d write a long and entertaining blog entry, and I hope that I carried out my promise well. And it’s a long blog in another term too: I started writing this morning, and finished this way past midnight. Heh. A long screwed post, is in the can.

In closing, here’s something that I wrote to my princess while I was in JB.

I look at your picture in my wallet,
Reminding how beautiful you are.
I pray for your safety and love,
just as you would for me.

My tears well up as I think of you,
But I brush it away,
And turning my thoughts towards an eventful day today.
I silently mouth “I love you” as I go my way.

A quote this time...?

2005-08-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

A quote from the Bible? Wow, Syaoran. That's just....uh.

Well, that particular chapter just holds me by the throat, for some reason. Apparently, the chapter vaguely relates to something that has happened to me today. Not something I like to blog about it.

...and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

Mmm.. I don't know. That one line feels heavy inside me. Heavy as in meaningful. I remember that I prayed for faith today. I have the love, but not the faith. Losing faith is baaad.

Maybe this chapter is not the right chapter for me. I just read this chapter and it felt good. But maybe the context is wrong to what had happened to me.

Maybe next time....

Blur effect was intended

2005-08-18T18:49:00.001+08:00

I truly have absolutely nothing to blog about, so here's a picture instead. For the story, head to Pablo's for more info.

Oh.. okay okay. At least I should have something more than this, right? Well, if you people had been to Pab's, you know that we were at Tugu Negara last weekend. Tiring walk woo. But it was enjoyable to be back with nature once more. Can't believe that it's still in KL. Heh.

Granted, that was the first time I went to Tugu Negara. Suffice to say, the patriot inside me began to rise and that I have the utmost respect to our nation's patriots.

The same cannot be said for the sculptures outside of the park, tho. Don't get me wrong, I like art, it's just that the sculptures are a bit...abstract for me to take it in. And I was in no mood to appreciate sculptures: I was dead tired. Maybe next time, with enough energy, I'll go there again and try to appreciate it.

Well, that was that weekend. This weekend? Meh, back to good 'ol (stupid and unpatriotic) civilisation for me. Movie time. Ask pablo what we're gonna see.

Oh, speaking of pablo, why is her blog all so gone haywire when viewed in IE? The nav column is all the way down the page, not the usual place up above. Care to shed any light, Ibanez? (yes yes, I only use IE when I don't have time.)

Well, That's about it I guess. I'll try to blog a little bit more when my Muse finally returns from her vacation somewhere in Korea.

Short gripe

2005-08-14T21:23:00.000+08:00

Nuthin' long, just something to gripe about, that's all...

Goddamn I just can't upload a flimsy 6 meg zip file into yahoo mail.. And it's not yahoo's fault, more like this CC's upload speed just sucks. Argh...

Takpe lah, later I can give it by hand. No need to send by email. If you're reading this, sorry you didn't get it in your mailbox. And I should've told you by sms, but my credit pulak goes kaput!

Sorry. Oh, BTW, you do look beautiful in the pics.

Smoke in my eyes

2005-08-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

Didn't even think of even blogging tonight. Hell, even with the big story up our noses (the haze, baby) I'm not interested to blog about it just yet. But what made me fire up Notepad and start typing? Of all the news the world can create that I can choose, it had to be the MMU convocation.

Now wait a tick. I'm not a MMU student anymore. I left that university for almost two years already. Hell, I never even graduated there, yet I come back to this one topic. I'm happily under UiTM's umbrella, soaking up (shitty) city life in Shah Alam. Yet, names of far-off places and of times long past floats towards me: Bukit Beruang, CLC, BBI, BBU, RSU, Stad, Apac... Weird.

Maybe I just can't forget that place, that university. The uphill road you had to walk to get into campus, or the sheer cavern of the CLC complex. Or maybe the foodstalls up in STAD, or (worse,) RSU. Maybe it's the feeling of angker-ness you get inside that FOSEE building (I heard they already moved into the new wing behind CLC. Coolness), or the Hi-tech feeling when you walk inside the FET and FIST building. Maybe it's the openess of the easily-accessible rooftops. Maybe the claustrophobic comp labs of Sigma and Alpha labs. Maybe the high steps of the pavillion. Maybe the dizzying heights (yet cramped rooms) of the hostel blocks. Maybe the serene beauty of the masjid. Maybe the road uphill to the peak of Bukit Beruang. I just don't know why.

It might not be the places and buildings. It might be the people. People, some, I see them as enemies. Most (if not all), I see as acquaintances. A handful, I see as lifelong buddies and trusted friends.

when talking about MMU, I always say that I spent my youth there. The times spent with those friends either idling around, making a ruckus, or just watching anime. All of those faces come from diffrent background, but united when it comes to anime.

I was young at the time, and never been apart from the family, let alone being transplanted into a different (and faraway) state from home. I guess I needed an anchor to keep myself rooted in my values and my humanity. I am proud to say that the lifelong friendship we have is my anchor, where I am once more human. Even if I could forget a name, I guess I could never forget a face.

Great minds think alike, they might say. With anime as our shared obsession, it is natural for a hobby to turn out into an enterprise. Using cyberspace as our meeting table, we collected the like-minded people. Our ranks grew. A new entity was born. You know the rest.

As time flies, so does the members of this tight-knit family drift apart. Each one flew to his or her own pre-appointed destination. This sort of destiny does not include the family being together. Torn apart, each floated away, like a feather in the wind. Where it lands, even the feather doesn't know. Go with the flow, they say. Although those souls floated away, the newborn entity refuses to wither away. Instead, it gained strength in numbers and in actions. Somewhere out there, the floating souls smile for the entity, and for the other souls.

It always happen. Convocation time. Especially MMU's. Hell, especially 2004's convo. The first time I was there. I was there as a visitor, not a recipient of the scroll. A good buddy of mine graduated. Oh how I smile for him. Hell, lots of familiar faces was there for the graduation ceremony. I smile for all of them. I'm not sad I did not graduate there. Maybe my real convo is in Shah Alam. As Dato Seri would say, maybe it's not my rezeki in Melaka. Maybe somewhere else.

Oh, what actually happened? tears of joy, tears of proudness. Proud that those familiar faces, those same faces that I spent my youth with, are now called graduates. Seeing them wearing that mortarboard makes me smile, which is hiding tears in the background.

And now it happens again. Although the impact is a lot less than the original, the tears really do flow again.

Don't worry, I'll have my own mortarboard one fine day later. Don't fret. It's just that your friends got to the finish line first. My time will come later. When the time comes, there will be tears for you.

Congratulations to you all.

(Now I have to wipe away the tears after typing all this up. Shit.)

In the hallowed halls

2005-08-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

Went to PC Fair Day 1 today. Went with Pablo and her 'sister' Kak Nana. As expected, LOADs of people thronged the place.

Oh, the place. Damn, I'm lovin' the Convention Center. got a perfect ten on the Pergh-o-meter. The columnless gigantic halls are an architecture wonder.

And damn, the fair spans FIVE (+1) halls. That's one ballroom on the 3rd floor, and five halls on the ground floor, basically the whole floorspace of the Kuala Lumpur Convention Center. Thank God I had the foresight to wear my sandals.

Let's cut to the chase and list out our spending spree for day one: One (1) refurbished Fujitsu Laptop, RM1499. One (1) 256mb mp3 thumbdrive, RM99. Two (2) 256mb Kingston thumbdrives, RM69 x2. Two (2) boxes of Esyink printer inks, RM60 + RM55. Who owns which items, I'm not gonna say.

But what I'm gonna say is this: I didn't buy anything. Not one thing. Weird. I'm a bit miffed and resentful about not getting myself anything at all over there. I mean, c'mon. You're at the biggest tech fair in the country, and you didn't get yourself anything.

But actually, I'm okay with it. I know the reasons why I didn't get anything myself. I also know that I'm very content with what I have right now.

I have a good system back home. My PC's doing well, thank you. I don't need some GeForce or Radeon to spice up my PC. I don't need a new processor, my P3's doin' fine. Personal entertainment? I'm gonna get a 128mb mp3 player next week, free of charge. Somebody's gonna give it to me. All in all, I'm content with what I have, and what I will have.

Of course, when it comes to basic instinct, I am dissapointed that I won't have a laptop anytime soon. But I'm not bitter over that. When I think back, it might have been a blessing in disguise.
So how is it, being inside a humongous hall full of tech and not buying anything?

Somehow, it feels like I'm a kid inside Toys 'r' Us, and can't even touch a thing, 'cause I know what and why I can't touch those things. Sad, but in the long run, I'm kinda okay.

Well, see ya at day 2 then.

What?! Day 2? Yes, I'm gonna go there again. Hopefully we could meet Ibanez. See ya there.

For my princess...

2005-08-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

If the world treats you harshly
if the morning sky is cloudy
if the poet is killing you
by putting depressing words.

If you feel down,
just look up.

Look at the crimson sky
at the twinkling Venus
and the first star

Make your wish upon it
wish your heart to be light
wish your heart be filled with light.

I will always be
by your side,
like a shadow I am
covert but loyal.

If you fall
I will catch
If you cry
I will dry the tears
If you are losing your balance
I will take your hand
If you frown
I will turn it upside down.

But a shadow I am
easily gone
by a ray of light
but I am content
to be of service
to my princess.

....
God, that's one awful poem. Ahaha...
It's just a poem for my princess. Lame, I know. It's just....

My princess had a rough day today. I'm concerned for her. She's the smiling type. And when a smiling type don't smile at you, you just feel it.

I took it upon myself to cheer up the sad princess. At least I want to know why she's sad. If people near to me can attest (ask pablo for details), they know that I care so much for this princess. She is my best friend, and I don't let best friends hung out to dry by themselves.

Sigh, I don't know.

Oh, there are better poems out there. What I wrote was from myself, to my princess. Yes, no prose or anything poetic. But this is straight from the heart one..

Sun, sweat, and stairs

2005-07-30T18:51:00.000+08:00

Pergh, what a hot day...

...and compounded with us boys sweating it out, carrying our stuff...

After a whole week of nothing but bad news, one good news finally came thru: We're finally moving to Cemara. Oh yess...

Thankfully the transition was smooth sailing event. We even had some help from the college: they send a pick-up truck to move most of our stuff to Cemara.

But it was no help from the scorching sun. My clothes were drenching. But it was all worth it.

Now back in my old stomping grounds...

Link dump...
http://www.povcomp.com/hof/
http://pslover.com/
http://www.zurqui.com/crinfocus/paper/airplane.html
http://unattended.msfn.org/index.htm

I got Langkawi'd

2005-07-26T18:58:00.000+08:00

Langkawi.
1. An island off the Coast of Kedah, Malaysia. A picturesque holiday destination.

2. A situation one finds where all his extensive plans and even hopes all go up in smoke in one single moment.

Coined by me after an embarrasing event concerning the said island. People who know me personally will exactly know what the REAL meaning of Langkawi is.

To put it simply, I got Langkawi'd today. By my own friend, no less. Sigh. No, I'm not mad at him. I'm more mad at myself, for letting my guard down. And people say I'm sour-faced all the time...

When you got Langkawi'd, every essesence of you just... stops. The will to live just fades away. The body starts to shrivel up. You can't even walk properly...

An early warning to Pablo, if she reads this blog tonight: Don't be surprised if I show up at school all masam-faced. You have been warned.

I can't put up all the details here. I don't want to embarrass my friend. Even though he's innocent in this, his identity still needs to be protected.

As per the definition goes, I had extensive plans (worse, I even had hopes) about a certain thing he has in his possesion. As per the definition goes, it all goes up in smoke in one single moment. I got Langkawi'd.

There is only one criteria for one to recieve a Langkawi: one has to have plans and hope over a certain thing. Excessive plans and hopes. With that in hand, you don't have to wait long for a Langkawi to come knocking at your door. He's a polite visitor, but his only objective visiting you is only to knock over that display of excessive plans and hopes you put up at your living room. After all that, he'll excuse himself and leaves politely. You can't even blame him or get mad at him; it's his job.

I got langkawi'd. Sigh.

I'll leave you with picture posts down below.

Oh, on a lighter note, I stumbled upon Joe_Hahn's blog, thru his Y!M status. Sorry lama tak contact hang. Been...busy. His adress is at http://amonrei.blogspot.com/. Apasal tak gi Bon Odori, dude? Damn, have to find time to visit you guys...

Nice, cute & funny

2005-07-26T18:49:00.000+08:00

Not tech talk again...

2005-07-25T15:24:00.000+08:00

It's weird... I'm in the cybercafe, planning to blow more than an hour surfing the net. It's not even 15 minutes... and I'm already bored. Hell, I don't know where to head to. Hmm..

Granted, my favorite sites are of course, top of my list. But all them added can't add up to more than one hour. Let's try and list out some of my favorites... (oh yeah, talk about firefox too)

The blogs.. Yeah, for a few minutes. Granted, I only visit 3 blogs: Mine, Pabs, and Lase's. Aih. And don't even think I spend a lot of time in there. I don't do comments (only for really good stuff), and I definitely don't do taggies. I read blogs. And finally, update mine. If I want to update. Well, okay, the update part takes the longest time. Maybe almost an hour.

And I'm sorry pabs, I just can't find the drive to click your links. I know, You've been promoting them to me for ages. Well, maybe this time, I'll click them, just for your sake.

..okay, I just clicked on the links. Interesting, to say the least. But sadly I had hoped those two sites would bowl me over or something. Don't get me wrong. Those sites were interesting, but I'm not in any way hooked to them.

Back to the site listings. Megatokyo? Machall? Crazykimchi? Sadly, I don't feel the urge to follow my favorite webcomics when I'm here. Maybe in Kangar, but definitely not here. Sigh. I don't even hit the forums. Speaking of forum, the Nexus forums also suffer from the same fate of me not having the heart to follow it. Besides, (sorry to say) the forum is kinda semak, and it clearly needs a proper clean up. I respect Lase's opinion of keeping it as a momento, but somehow, there is kinda a limit and there is a distinct line between keeping your memories and letting it take over the real estate and becoming a lalang field.

That only leaves 4chan.org. I would advise people to go there. And that's the only place I can spend a good quality time. Looking at pictures.

In the end, I don't have anywhere to go. Oy vey, how I miss my own PC. My settings, my bookmarks, my stuff. Even if there's no internet, I still have my mp3s and pictures. That's why I'm looking forward to the coming cuti: so I could fetch Kero-chan's laptop and fill it up with my stuff, and becoming an extension of my PC. Sigh.

Oh yeah, Firefox. Apparently, people haven't grasped that there is another browser out there besides IE. I'm not gonna ramble on about how Firefox is better than IE, because there is no perfect browser, only a better browser. For the non-technorati crowd, besides IE and Firefox, there's also the Opera, and there's the old-skool Netscape. Even IE7 is coming soon. For the non windows, there's Safari and Konqeror.

Gah, tech ramblings. I thought I wouldn't go there, but apparently, I crossed the line, yet again.

While we're on the topic of technological whinings of mine, I want to say: I want to download stuff thru Bittorrent, but it's prohibited in CC's. Aih. It's not a big file, just 33mb of audio files. It's www.thisweekintech.com's podcasts. Aih. Takpa lah. There's always other times.

Oh yeah, I visit news.google.com too. Thank god for news sites.

Addendum: after I posted the blog, then I wanted to go to lots of sites. Tech sites, hardware sites, cnet, slate, pcmag...gah. Munyit.

"Tiket kanak-kanak"

2005-07-23T21:42:00.000+08:00

Things to get off my chest: Lase, will you stop saying about you're fat etcetera? 'Cos you don't look that fat. Never was. The same words apply to Pablo. Aiyoh, you girls... It's like there's nothing on their minds except "OMG IM FAT T_T". Aih. Oh, sorry for the outburst.

#2: Lase, sorry for not giving you any birthday *insert item here*. You have a right to be dissapointed at me. I got a scolding from Pabs after she found out. But somehow, I kinda figured I already gave a present to you: Pablo. Too bad you couldn't take her back home and keep her.

Ibanez: Yeah, sayang you couldn't be there. Bon Odori brings back those memories of old, especially the people. Meeting some of the boys (Otter, thelws, Omega), I somehow half-expected to see the rest of the old boys. *sniff*, sigh, the good ol' days.

Well, let's leave the memories in the folder. In time, I'll talk about them once more, if I get nostalgic. Besides, it's hard to type up stuff when you got something in the eyes.

Now we move on to the meat of the blog.

Kangar and Shah Alam are two worlds apart, right? The same can be said to Perlis and KL. Basically Kangar is my hometown, and Shah Alam is some faraway place, where I study.

When it comes to Public transporation (i.e. a bus), I'm deathly scared of Kangar's public buses. On the other hand, I'm completely comfortable with KL's public transport system. Weird.

Let's put up some case studies: In Kangar, I don't know which bus goes to Putra Palace, which is quite nearby to my house. Let's put up some numbers: Distance from the bus station to Putra Palace, approximately 2km. Distance from Putra Palace to my house, less than 1km away. Approximate number of buses that pass through Putra Palace, 75-80% of the whole town bus fleet. Even with that percentage and that small of a distance, I managed to get on the wrong bus and had to call the calvary once I realized I was in the middle of nowhere. In my own hometown. Keep in mind, that was during my younger days, where I was still eligible for the "kanak-kanak" ticket.

Compare that to what I did today. From Shah Alam, I confidently hopped on the bus to KL, and took another bus to Bandar Utama, which I felt was quite a distance. All by myself. For the first time.

Yes, yes, to the KL people out there, "Bandar Utama ain't that far!" Like I said, it FELT far enough.

It was a small and personal victory on my part. On the trip back home, I somehow went back in time and remembered the time when I was afraid to take a bus, and when I did, it was the wrong one. I wonder, what would my younger self say if he knew that I can do things like that confidently.

He might've been proud of me. A scared young kid, getting on the bus for the first time. If he knew what his future was in store for him, he would've conquered his fears and would've gotten on a bus, regardless where the destination was, and not afraid if it went the wrong way.

Once a traveller, always a traveller.

BO2k5

2005-07-18T21:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes, another Bon Odori blog. I'll try to make this short and snappy, as I'm on borrowed time here.

The whole event was fun. Short and snappy, ne? I won't talk about the whole day, as there is not much to talk to about. Suffice to say, I just kept watch at the sky and silently praying that it wouldn't rain. It didn't. Phew.

As this was my second outing to Bon Odori, I kinda know the twists and turns. But it would be unfair if I didn't mention the part where the tyre of the motorbike just pancit. Imagine my worries: on a busy street, in the middle of the night, and with someone's daughter in tow. Thankfully, all turned out well, as a savvy businessman on wheels came to our aid.

The one thing that I looked forward to is the meeting of two sisters. As the picture above shows, the meeting went well. I'm glad Lase looked healthy, although I was a bit shocked that she looked...um, (don't kill me) old, but I figured that I haven't seen her in a looong time, and maybe she's tired from the trip. Or maybe it's the job description. Aih. Anyways, don't kill me, Lase. You looked beautiful in your kimono. Really.

Heaven and/or Hell

2005-07-11T21:15:00.000+08:00

That phrase up above sums up my time down here in Sin City. Although this city ain't Basin City, somehow it felt more like "Lubang Jamban City." But enough dissing about this fair city. Let's do some newsbits of what has happened since the last post.

Heaven: the trip by train. As always, I'm nuts for trains and this time is no exception. I could talk for hours about this and y'all will be rolling your eyes outta the socket.

Hell: Fell down like a bag of rotten jackfruit at my Uncle's in Sg.Buloh. As a result, the black knee is still here one week later as a result of not reporting it earlier and not applying the minyak urut.

Heaven: a sudden visit by my parents and aunt results in me transplanted to Rawang, and as a result, faced with lots of food. Nuff said.

Hell: Newbie registration day. Can you say "thousands of people"? And can you say "Biological/Chemical weapon unleashed"? Sheesh.

Hell: Found out that the TESL boys (newbies included) can't stay in sec.18 for the time being, until Cemara has been cleared out from the INTEC rodents. For now, Illegal immigrant at sec.2. Sheesh.

Heaven: Outings with Pablo. And yes, KL does look better painted pink.

Hell: My buddy got infected with Dengue Fever. No shit. Finally got warded. In Klang. No shit.

Hell (or is it heaven?): Found out Bon Odori's on the 16th. Jeez.

Well, that sums up the fucking week i had in this fucking city (you'll excuse the curses.)

In other newsbits: Earlier, I saw a future teacher. She was amazing. I was in awe seeing her in action. It's like, she's a natural at this. I could go on praising her, but I am actually lost for words.

Oh yeah, Bon Odori, Lase, and Times Square! Hmm, how to do ah... Lase said she's going first to BTSq, and later to BO. At my side, I want to bring pablo to BO, but I'm worried about transportation woes. Looking at Giant's outlook, I'd say the percentage of BO is fucking dwindling. Jeez. We could meet up in BTSq, or we could meet up in BO, or we could just meet up in Melaka. Lase & Pablo, what do you feel about it?

The Long Vacation ends here...

2005-07-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

I had to summon all my writing abilities to write this final blog from home. And even that ain't enough...

I'm not at all emotional about this. Maybe I can't afford to be, or maybe I just don't have it in me. Well, to me, I still have less than 24 hours, and I'm gonna waste it on my friends.

She won't read it on time, but godspeed to Pablo, who'll be the first to leave. I had hoped she'd be awake now, but she deserved the rest. She'll have a long day tomorrow.

Heh, I guess I'm used to all of this, so I guess this is just normal. I've been doing this since 2000, so you could say I'm a veteran at this, which might explains the lack of emotions, good or otherwise. It'll just be like normal commuting to SA.

I do have high hopes in SA, namely a chance to stretch my mental muscles after a while of rigor mortis. I also hope to paint the town back red again, with pablo, and newcomer Giant, my GREASE buddy.

As always, "we'll cross the bridge when we get there." Words of wisdom, if not a warning.

Short post, y'all. See ya in Shah Alam.

The End is nigh

2005-06-27T02:12:00.000+08:00

Damn, it's almost the end of Long Vacation. I'm scheduled to go back to Sin City (Shah Alam by any other name) on the 1st of July, 6.13pm. By train :p, my favorite mode of transportation. I could've gone much later, but the family also have plans concerning my brother enroling into a University College way over in Pahang, around the same time. So, yeah.

The once-lamented goddamn-why-is-the-cuti-so-long has now become damn-i-don't-have-much-time thing. The desktop is still a mess (no change there), I still haven't reformat this PC yet, need to keep this PC as healthy as possible in my abscence.

One good thing coming from the of the cuti is, the opportunity to update my couture collection. Oh yeah. Off to the mall we go. When it comes to couture, I consult the deity named Carson Kressley, of the Fab Five. He guided our hands for great shirts. Wished I could get a Batik shirt, but I felt that's not in the cards. Oh well.

So we shopped and shopped. When it comes to paying, our eyes were bulging. The couture from my brother and I totaled close to RM940. Almost a goddamn thousand. Pergh. But hey, I guess we made Carson proud today. :p

Well, I don't have anything interesting for the rest of the day.

Wanna lament on the cuti?

No.

At least I'm looking forward for to a rust-free brain.

Embarrasing.

2005-06-20T03:30:00.000+08:00

I guess this is gonna be hot in the news. Aih..

An embarrasing farce of a race it was in Indianapolis. Seven out the ten teams pulled out of US GP. The result? Only six cars on the track. Pathetic.

The story goes like this: On friday, Michelin (the tiremaker for the seven teams) saw a problem with the tires at the track which ultimately caused Ralf Schumacher to crash. Michelin asked the FIA for replacement tires to be flown in for the teams, or at least, put up a makeshift chicane at a turn which is a high-speed bank.

FIA's response? They ruled out Michelin's request. Result? All seven teams running on Michelin tyres boycotted the race. All twenty cars finished the parade lap, and 14 cars pulled into the pits, leaving six cars on the starting grid.

What a farce, what an embarrasment.

This is gonna be big news in the next few days.

Racing fans left the racetrack disgusted and some were demanding refunds. Some even threw water bottles and beer cans onto the tracks. Aih.

What's my take on the sad race? It's a pity on the American racing fans. They looked forward for a great race, and all they got was this. The sport is gonna lose the American fans over this silly debacle.

The FIA did not think of the sport, and the fans of the sport. This is politics first and sports second, which was supposed to be another way. The image of F1 might be forever damaged by this decision.

If only the FIA agreed to put makeshift chicanes, this sad farce wouldn't have happened. Nine out of the ten teams wanted to put chicanes to control the speed. If only FIA let Michelin to bring new tyres, this wouldn't happen. Instead, the FIA overruled everything, and this upsets the teams, and ultimately, the fans.

The image of F1 will be tarnished.

Aih.

Quality vs Quantity

2005-06-14T02:43:00.000+08:00

Ibanez: All those 7 pics are when I was in this "camera-whore" mode. I admit, I was in a trance pimping the camera and not putting in a good blog. And the 8th pic was an old picture of me when I was two years old so don't diss me on that!

But I do agree on the fact that all 8 posts have zero quality blog entry, in terms of writing. Pfft, that's what you get for having a "camera-whore" phase.

Fuck "a picture tells a thousand words," if the pictures stink. I'm no TV Smith, but I strive to be like him. I've been whining about not having a good subject or stinky weather. What I should do is to practice more, and study more. Learn to compose, learn to look, and not whine. I can't blame the camera for taking sucky pictures. I'm the one who snapped the shot. :p

I agree on the quality vs quantity, in terms of blogging. Early in the blogging scene, I used to write anything that happens to cross my mind. All those was deemed "bloggable" without actually noticing the quality of a blog. Ahh, those old times when I was still a virgin and stupid...

Later, I started to mature in my blogging. I (maybe) wrote some good stuff along the way, but in a time lapse, instead of constantly finding a keyboard every time I had a blog idea. (Well, maybe you think my writing still sucks. Fine by me. If you don't like it, tell me about it.) I had a good timeframe, maybe once a week-or-so. But I knew that what I wrote was of quality, as I let it percolate in my mind. (If you still think my writing sucks donkey balls, you can tell me.)

And then comes the cuti lethargy, and the camera-whore phase. Ouch. No excuses there. I kinda hate holidays cos my mind ain't that sharp. No constant usage of bombastic words, hell, no usage of any above-average words. You could say I'm a regular neanderthal-language user at home. Food, tummy, pc, sleep, pr0-uh, no, internet. Me want that. Me don't get, me whine.

So, instead of putting up quality crap, I put up a lot of crap. Mm-hm.

And I just re-read some of the old posts. Goddamn they're angsty! *cover muka*

Uh, dude, solution? Or at least conclusion?

Conclusion is, I need to improve my writing. Find out what's my niche, and what's my motivation. Where it went wrong, and how to make it right again.

And as always, no tagboard. XP

Abandonware

2005-06-13T02:41:00.000+08:00

5 days since a last update, and it already feels *that* long. Lase can do it in a longer time, why can't I do it too? :P

To tell ya the truth, I almost reached a point where I decided to take a break from blogging specifically, and from the internet, in general. Hell, I even photoshopped the banner to reflect my sabbatical from blogging.

At that time, I felt overwhelmed. Things aren't going right in Syaoran-land, be it about computer stuff, or social stuff. My pc's going bonkers (not a good thing), and I haven't fulfilled my social obligations. I'm losing it, and in turn, I felt I'm losing my mind.

Enter the decision for the sabbatical. I wrote up my decision, even made the sabbatical header, both ready for post. But before I posted it, I wanted to show someone first the write-up, as I consider this someone very important to me and I appreciate her very much.

Just so it happens, this certain someone can't go online on the day I finished the write-up. Fine. I postponed posting it until I get the chance to show it to that said person. I finally did show it to that someone, two full days later.

By that time, things have changed. The once-dried creative batteries I thought I was suffering, was slowly recharging back. The dark weh-weh mode I had was fading away. Re-reading the write-up, I saw a pathetic little prick, trying to find a quick getaway.He found it in the words "I quit." I wanted to abandon the blog. a quick way out, indeed.

By then I realized, what I needed wasn't a sabbatical, but a short breathing space for myself. I don't need to unplug and take a long walk along the beach (although I welcome that prospect) but instead I should just take some time to think about my own welfare. Back away from the comp, go meet friends, have a cuppa. A time for myself, a time for reflection, without the cheezy-looking resort advert images. Hahaha....

So in short, I realized that there's no need for a long vacation, just lots of short breather space for yourself. I also realized that a blog doesn't have to the about fancy pictures all the time; a blog is about the writing, what comes into the mind, and weaving the thoughts to make an entertaining read. I used to do that a long time ago.

Maybe I should take a walk along the beach and try to find it. :P

2005-06-08T20:38:00.000+08:00

FYI

Dying

2005-06-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

To put it bluntly, my PC is nazak. If I leave it to idle, the screen freezes and the cursor is a no-go. But that's not the pathetic part. I realized that the PC can easily be un-freezed by just giving a good whack on the CPU. Aih....

I found a short-term workaround to that problem. I set the hard disk to shut down when the PC goes idle for 3 minutes. I tried it and the freezes are no more.

Hell, a short-term workaround ain't that good. I'm really worried about my data in there. the mp3s, the pictures, argh~. I guess it's time for the back ups. Hell, 5 gigs of stuff to backup. Argh, Maybe i should buy a new hard disk... Aih, duit lagi.

The image? 'Was playing with digital macro mode. Sajer, nak try composing images and color from available stuff on the desktop. Sucky, i know. Shutter speed 1/20sec, Aperture F/2.8, ISO dah lupa. :p

Dancing Flames

2005-06-07T02:15:00.000+08:00

There was supposed to be a blog up here, But I guess things've cooled down. so I think it's unnecessary anymore for that blog.

But thing did heat up: I saw my bro burning off old documents, and saw the flames playing around. I saw it as a good opportunity to play with the ixus' settings.

Apparently this image was supposed to accompany the supposed blog, as I was taking snaps in a particular mindset. Well, I guess I don't need it now. Better not let it go to waste.

Lens aperture F/3.2. ISO 400. Shutter speed 1/400. Cheewah, macam professional photographer pulaks. Ahaha...

The Dragon's Nest

2005-06-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

Here's a quick view of the Dragon's Nest. But before I explain, some shoutouts:

Welcome back Cher, to the Land of the Connected. Hope that cendol-brain of yours are well up to it. Wait, you spammed. Yep, you're up to it.

And check out Lase's second birthday gift to Pablo. Sisterly love, it's so beautiful. *seaside sunset*

Okay, back to the BS-ing formerly known as blogging.

Well, the pic is a shot of my desktop, aka "the Dragon's Nest." Why that name? Well, the place is a total mess. No explanation needed. :P There's new stuff added in in the place now. The description's by the numbers.

1. TV. The main entertainment center. What's it showing there? Uh, wrestling. And no, I'm not a wrestling fan. Two sweaty men hugging each other and watched by the thousands? Uh-huh, no sexual undertones whatsoever.

2. PlayStation 2. The real entertainment center. I just finished God of War. Lord Kratos!

3. The new addition to the setup. Two new printers. The big white one is the laser printer (!) and the grey boxy one on the right is the inkjet printer. Why TWO new printers? A laser one, at that? Well, my dad's insurance business needs him to have a laser printer. Why? Don't know. And the other printer? His contracting job requires him to print up reports of the work, and that includes printing a photographed report. And no, the laser printer's not in color. So the other printer is for color prints, and the laser printer is for the other documents. And no, the boys haven't misused it, although the urge is there. Both printers were bought as the same time as the ixus 40.

Oh, behind the color printer, there's the USB hub. Both the printers, as well as the camera's cable connection, are connected there. I did the networkings, which I'm pretty proud of myself for that.

4. The throne. Muahahaha! P

5. The desktop. Goddamn it's so messy. The usual suspects are there: wireless keyboard (where the indicator shows that the battery's almost dead), mousey, Naruto snocap, wires wires wires, and some errant letters and envelopes from an errant letter-writer. Up there are the hi-fi speaker, the phone, and a book. John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. Blum baca lagi :p

6. Top of the monitor. A bookmark and some wristbands from the said errant letter-writer. Ekeke.

Well, that's another peek into my life.

Ghostly apparition

2005-06-01T02:25:00.000+08:00

Well, there's no angker mode goin' on over here. Just another (basi) picture from the ixus. I was moving the red 'hog further inside the porch. I guess this is in a low ISO setting, or maybe the hand was shaking. Oh, my bro took the pic.

The actual reason I posted: I'm so totally bored. Looking at the state of the internet landscape; with Pablo's absence, and Lase's coming-soon post (yeah yeah, by tomorrow, she's already posted one), the landscape looks kinda bleak. Urgh, even Ibanez dropped outta sight. *groan*

Thankfully I got a bit of brain cells left, so what better way to waste it by musing loudly over here.

I was poking around Pablo's now-hibernating blog, and noticed that her circle of friends called her Cher in the blog. That got me thinking, why didn't her friends use Pablo as her moniker?

The answer: they could damn well use whatever name the want to call her. In our circle (Pabs, me, Lase, ibanez et al.), we know her as Pablo. In her circle, her friends call her Cher, because that's the shortform of her name. Hell, offline, I call her Cher too.

It just goes to proof, that privacy is a lost concept. (I'm going nowhere with this, aren't I?)

Five hundred thousand down. Two billion, seven hundred million, forty-eight thousand, three hundred and twleve brain cells left to fry.

The Michigan Dude and Me

2005-05-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

Well, the Michigan Dude came up to Kangar to spend his weekend here. I took this picture in the car, after we had some mee mamak.

Oh, I took this pic using the brand-spanking new Digital Ixus 40. Dad bought it for his job. So no hoots about anything, please.

Later will talk more about the new items.

Oh, too bad about pablo losing the net access, again. This time, it's not about getting fritz'd, but more of a "brother cuti, so got hijacked la" kinda case. Too bad.

Sleepless, again.

2005-05-28T02:31:00.000+08:00

Can't sleep. Might as well update the blog. Nothing much on the top stories, so just as well post another old-skool photo that I found.

That was when we first moved in into this house. Again, I was 2 years old. Much has changed over the years, primarily the background (no more paddy/lalang fields, more houses), and then a new fence. :p

Any more stuff to talk about? No?

Y'see, that's the weakness that is me. Sigh.

Oh, this is getting stale, yes I know, but what the hell: Still wishing you happy 21st, Pablo. You know the right box to put the X in. And you should roast that stray dude.

Happy Birthday Pablo!

2005-05-25T00:25:00.000+08:00

"I had one whole week to make a "happy birthday" wallpaper, and all I had was a creative bloc. :P" --Syaoran, this afternoon, after finishing this wallpaper.

Happy birthday, Cherane. Cheh, no words to to describe the fun, the happiness this angel from Sabah brings. All I can give is a heartwearming "Happy Birthday."

Furniture Shuffling

2005-05-23T02:43:00.000+08:00

Too bad for Pablo's fritz'd net connection.

In the afternoon My bro and I, along with my dad went to his office to move some furniture from the office into the home. A few chairs, a few tables. The office was on the first floor, so navigating the stairs with a heavy table is a bit daunting.

Yeah, right. We had some help with the movers. We just carried down the drawers and the chairs.

My dad wanted to put some tables in the boys room to make it his office. He ain't gona work there for real, just taking advantage of the air-con in here. Besides, the room is a mix of sleeping quarters/gaming room with a dash of a mini-library and the local dump.

Local dump? As you might probably guessed, this is the boys room. If you think us boys are one tidy bunch, you're clearly alien.

So before moving the tables into the room, we had to clear all the dump. We had to vaccum the carpet.Throw any junk.

Oh, I wished I could summon the deity Thom Filicia of the Fab Five. I could need his insight. Alas, he was busy saving the world from ugly interior.

[DISCLAIMER: Just because I like watching Queer Eye, I am not gay. Only idiots think that watching a TV show about five gay people makes you gay. Go fuck yourself and continue watching Fear Factor, idiots. Eating crap will make you manly. If you want a good makeover without the OMFG! XTREME!!1!one, Try watching Queer Eye, and listen to their tips. At least I'm comfortable with my sexuality.]

Back to the story. So, after a time of junk-throwing, in comes the tables There ain't not much of a major furniture shuffle. Just added two tables in here, and shifted the manga/artbook rack near the door. The TV is still at the original location, so does the trusty ps2. (wow, what a disclaimer. I just read it.)

Oh, I got a reclining executive chair from the office. Oh yeah, comfy. Ooh, lookit th time...

Postponed

2005-05-21T11:52:00.000+08:00

Darn it, today's planned trip to go see Revenge of the Blith is ain't gonna happen. Transport errors. Heh. There's always tomorrow.

Lase, nevermind la if you can't go and watch it. What's the phrase? "sudah nasib badan." One bad thing from not being able to go and watch the movie today, is that That Sucky TV Station (which is not Angkasapuri nor Sri Pentas, no names will be given) is doing a media blitz of SW. And the blitz sucked. Not the content of the blitz, but the production sucked, and the presenters royally suck.

Yeah, I'm not pro-NTV7.

So what to do the rest of the day. Lepak at Emec's, probably go cycling, probably sleeping.

Yesterday I called my best friend (who, apparently, was a girl) and we just talked. We just talked. Actually, I just talked. I was so royally "out of it." I just talked and talked. And the freaking line's a mess. I couldn't hear anything from the other side. Makes me wanna throw the cellphone on the tarmac.

Yeah, yeah, it's not the phone's fault. It's the service provider's.

Footnote: half-assed job, wishful thinking, mereben, and lots of "i don't know"and "bosan."

In other news, I've been using iTunes as my MP3 player, in the process of replacing Winamp. Some things iTunes don't have that i like about winamp:

the ZXCVB play control on the keyboard. As opposed to ctrl-Left arrow? Meh.

Uh, actually, that's the only thing missing from iTunes. Visually, the iTunes is big, compared to winamp's sleek and streamline. But okay la, I can see the playlist clearly. Sound-wise, same jer. I'm not much of an audiophile, I prefer being able to listen to my songs than taking notes of the subtle nuances of a particular song. Yadda yadda yadda.

Ooh, roti canai?

Revenge of the Blith

2005-05-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

Had supper with Emec. "Sloppy" burgers. Heh. We talked for a while, until the weather looks bad. Got doused on the way home. The weather sucks lately.

Not much to discuss, except Star Wars, the recent state of gaming, and stuff.

Planning to go watch Star Wars: Revenge of the Blith this weekend. Not putting much hope in anything lately.

Guess it's a downer week for most of the people. I wished C would feel better than me. I wished people around me felling better than me.

And yes, Lase is crazy. Maybe because of the eye. Oh god, no, NOT THE EYE! The eye is watching! No lah. Hope you'll get better soon.

Metaphors

2005-05-18T04:41:00.000+08:00

As I can't sleep, and my muscles are tightening up, and as my head hits the pillow, it seems that my mind is still cranking. It's spurning out lots of stuff, and some of them look good. As long as I can't sleep and there's good stuff, why waste it trying to sleep over it. To hell with it, I said a few moments ago. I got up from my pillow, switched on the moniotr and typed this blog entry.

The are two metaphors I'd like to discuss. First is the Power Rangers metaphor, second is the Hall metaphor.

Mind you that I don't specify anything here. Everything is open and label-less. There are no labels carrying the description. Labelling destroys the underlying meaning of an item. Yes, labelling makes it easier to recognise and relate. But it's all up to you.

Power Rangers, or in their native Japan's true name, Super Sentai shows, is about a group of youngsters, usually five of them, having super powers and protecting the earth or something-something. (i'm gonna use the term "power rangers" loosely here, to denote the team of five. Usually I use the term "Hero Lima," in my native tongue. But this is an english-based blog, but the fact that "hero lima" doesn't sound that good in here. Cheh.) I'm not gonna base this on a specific show, but this is more of a generalization of the group. Frankly, you have to have a basic knowledge of these shows.

Basically the five of them have different personalities. The Red Ranger is the leader-type. Strong, and can lead the team to victory. Usually he is the one to call the cannons to kill the monsters and the giant mecha to stomp the nearby town. Then there's the Blue Ranger. The quiet one, the geeky one. But don't count him out of the fight. He can fight like a warrior underneath that quiet interior. The Black Ranger is the anti-social type. He likes being alone rather than hanging with these color-coded losers. He's a bit of a hot-head, sometimes clashing with the Red Ranger. But in the end, as the spirit of teamwork goes, he always there to help his teammates. The Yellow Ranger is the jack-of-all-trades type. Can cook, can dance, can kick butt. Usually the voice of reason in the group. Lastly, there's the Pink Ranger. The ditz in the group. The clueless one. Sometimes one ask, why the hell is she in the team? Oh, but she is important. Aside from being a capable warrior, the Pink Ranger also provides a different view of a situation. And of course, to top it off, there's the teacher persona, guiding and teaching the rangers in their way of fighting and living.

This is just a gross representation of a team, from my psyche. The basic thing is the same, five people in a team, color-coded, saving the world. Whoever you describe is your own. This is my interpretation of a "Hero Lima" team.

So ask yourself, "which Ranger am I?"

Oh yeah, my first yawn, at 4.22am. Now I'm getting close to sleepy. Let me type off the next metaphor, The Hall.

The rules still apply. This is my own interpretation. Your interpretation may be different. That's okay. And no labels. Labels destroy the meaning blablabla.

You have a hall. No matter what hall it is. It might be the CLC for the MMU types, it might be the DSB for the UiTM types, or it could be some school hall type, or it could even be a great hall like a theater hall type. Whatever. No labels. And there's an event happening there. A theater play? A singing competition? A live telecast of Forum Perdana? Whatever. No labels.

So you have a hall and an event. There might be an audience. There might be chairs. There might be hawkers outside the hall. All of this is happening in and around the vicinity of the hall. The question is, where are you, and what's the reason you are there? Are you the audience, sitting in the middle of the people, anonymously cheering for the event up in the stage? Or are you up on the stage itself? The great thespian of the world in action? Or are you behind the scenes? Or are you the director? Are you the guy who shines the spotlight, sitting way up there at the balcony? Are you the reporter who's covering the event, or are you somewhere backstage, carrying the props? Are you totally immersed by the event and the hall itself, or are you ignoring everything that's happening in the hall and are outside, smoking a cheap one? You can be anybody listed or not. Whatever the role you feel like it, that is you. The one thing you cannot be is the owner of the hall. He sits way over there in his office, handling the affairs of his hall.

The interpretation is up to you.

Wah, a long one, this is. And I'm not even near sleepy. All i get are tired arms, an a mind that is still churning. Go figure.

off-the-keyboard meanderings

2005-05-18T03:42:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling a bit tight right now. And it's way late. It feels like... I don't know. The muscles on the chest tighten. The arms are tight and yet getting weak.

I'm just gonna spew off anything that's on my mind right now. Maybe this is psychological. It's all in the mind, they say. I can't sleep. My black hole of a stomach is playing the keroncong. My chest feels tight, blabla. Get on to it.

First off: Lase, did you get the memo saying that you finally can put up my blog in your links? I clearly remember saying "yes, you can link my blog." It's okay if you forgot. So here it is, yes, you can link my blog.

I've been listening to anything piano lately. Or at least orchestral. Yes, that is my taste in music, but recently the playlist has been nothing but those, espcially nights like tonight. What's up with that? Maybe I'm gonna go off sounding angsty, but I stopped myself mid-angst. A waste of time, I said to myself.

Had a slight time-out from the chest-and-muscle tights by having a fun round of golf on the PS2. Maybe it is in my head. Once finished the game and back to the pc, the tights starts back.

Maybe I have to take a time-out from my own pc. Maybe it's enviromental. I haven't given my 'hog some serious lovin' lately. Go out and take is as much fresh air, maybe. But with the rainy outlook these days, my time out in the sun is clouded.

My best friend's back home already and I haven't got a plan to even go and crash at his place. Iusually do that every time he's home, yet I don't feel like it. I even lost my love for travelling. I need to re-kindle those lost loves.

Just had a reality check and realized that the school opens back on early July. only have a month and a half. I was missing a lot. I don't know what to do. Can I have a giant-sized SIGH here?

Dammit, the tightening returns. Better crash for now. Think of anything good the next day.

I'm worrying a lot of people by posting this.

Console wars redux

2005-05-17T19:49:00.000+08:00

Today's a short one. The gamer inside me wants to blog so badly about this.

There's the annoucement of Playstation 3. Just a few days after Microsoft's announcement of Xbox360. I'm not having any joygasm. Heck, I'm not even smiling at any of this. All of this stinks.

Microsoft's new console is not something for me to be happy about. Added with the so-called PS3, I'm actually shaking my head. Even Nintendo's at the horizon with their Revolution. Like I said once before, "there's no bigger rolin' eye emoticon for me right now."

I'm not looking forward for new games. I'm not looking forward for new shiny games. I'm not looking for any of those shit. And i certainly hate new designs. As the image above attest, I hate the new control. What the above image doesn't really show, I also hate the new console designs. Be it Xbox360's, PS3's or that Revolution's. I guess it's all about "OMFG! Shiny body! Sexay!"

And the games. Oh god, the games. Not looking forward to those games too. Call me jaded, call me whatever. I just don't fall in love over any of the new stuff. Not yet.

I missed the old console wars. I missed the playstation-N64-DC war. I'm happy with the PS2-Xbox-GC war. I totally hate the new war.

Toldya this is a short one.

Rojak pack #3

2005-05-15T19:52:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Need to write some stuff that's happened to me since the last blog entry. I'll try to put up every big topic in my head.

The demam's almost gone now. Still have the nasty sore throat and the sniffles. I'm into hot drinks now, coffee mostly. Fuck "Cap Kapal Api", it's all about "Cap Keretapi" in my house. Starbucks, eat your heart out.

I got back my nerves (of steel?) and managed to invest some quality time in Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. I tried to play the game during my demam, and all I got were shaken nerves. You need to have complete control of the game if you expect to get good results in the gameplay. Twitchy fingers need not apply.

'Been pondering about pablo's MUET question. Finally a good challenge for my cranium. I'll be typing out the essay some time soon. It's been a long time since I wrote a challenging essay. Missed my College Writing subject. Big Daddy D, wait for me!

No tagboard yet. pfffbbtt! Also, no bishies from me. I flatly refuse to look for bishies. I had to browse through a lot of non-related bishies "just to get the exact bishies", until it came to a point where I questioned my own sexual prefrerence and my sexuality. I had to stop right there and then. So, no bishies. Here, take back the nets and bags. I quit.

Good god, the throat's acting up. It's always the last to heal. I'm thankful for expectorants. Love the usual warning: "may cause drowsiness. Do not operate heavy machinery."

What else ah...? Oh, there's this revelations, truths, heartaches and scars. The pain will subside, the scar will be the reminder. It looks like I lost a big thing, but in reality, it's not lost. The bond gets stronger. Bonds of friendship.

As always, my theme song:

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Nat King Cole is my personal deity.

Demam

2005-05-13T07:00:00.000+08:00

Forgot to tell yez all, I'm actually having a bout o'fever. It's been Day 3 already. I was supposed to blog about this yesterday, but my writing prowess left me during the fever pitch. Today's blog pun kira lucky, because I woke up early (thanks to the demam) and the first thing I could thought off was writing up a new entry.

It's not that bad, actually. I'm not coughing up a hellstorm. Nor am I shivering. What I do have is a runny nose, a weak body, an itchy throat, and no medicine.

Yup, I haven't been to the doc yet. Why? I'm stubborn, I guess. A single trip to the doc could save me the hassle of a weak self. Instead, I relied on second-hand meds from the family. I guess that's me. I popped some Merislon (a good selesema pill. Kero-chan can vouch for it) and some expectorant, but that's it. Yadda yadda, Panadol too.

Actually, right now (6.55am) the demam ain't that bad anymore than it was yesterday. I'm still coughing, I'm still covered in my blankie, but I feel better than I was yesterday (which was hell). I could continue my sleep right now, or just wander aimlessly around the house, finding meds lying around here and there. Heheh.

In fact, I think I'm gonna do that right now.

Oh, I need to rave and ramble about Sepet. I watched it yesterday in my feverish stupor. God damn I loved it.

Later.

Apologies and offerings

2005-05-09T03:07:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson - Beauty and the Beast

I'm not in the mood for much blogging nowadays. But I have to put up something. More like an apology to two of my favorite dames. And I had to ask help from C, no less. Aih...

Lase, Pablo, I'm sorry I said that you people were annoying. I love you guys, really, I do. I love you guys making a mess of my place. What I said earlier was uncalled for, and I apologise for that. I hope that you guys stop boycotting me and come back and fill up the comment box. Heck, I'll even throw in a *gasp* tag-board. Aigh.

As a final note on the apology, I offer Lase and her sister (pablo, of course. They're practically unseparable by now) these offerings. With open arms and open heart, I apologise to you both. I hope you could find the heart to accept my apology.

For Lase:

For Pablo:

For both of 'em:

Okay, back to the blog. Uh...Any new stuff? Oh, if you guys haven't checked the comments box (probably because of the boycott), There's a new album up in http://photos.yahoo.com/dickmulder1. It's the Kota Kuala Muda Kenduri pics. I've had new pics since then, but I haven't got it yet, let alone upload it. When I do upload it, I'll give a shout out in the comment box. (...or the future tag-board..)

Got some interesting stuff happening. First off, the Michigan dude's back. For good. So I guess I can't call him Mich dude any more. He landed around Friday noon, he said. Good to have you back, dude. ;)

Incidentally, the return of the dude has something remotely related with today's meat of the blog. It seems that I've developed some kind of anti-happy mode. Frankly, I'm not happy about this. Well, let me lay down the low-down of this mode, for our dissection (yup, I'm hankering to know why I got this shit).

The MO goes like this: happy stuff happens; I'm supposed to be happy; anti-happy mode kicks in; my happiness is limited, or demolished. Why? The logic, he says, that when I get on top of the world, the only way left is down. And I crash down hard, he says.

I have to offer an apology to myself, because I'm gonna condemn this crappy mode of mine. Why the fuck do you want to limit your own fucking happiness? Something happy happens to you, you only have to do one logical thing: be happy. So why the fuck you want to "limit the happiness"? Dude, try to imagine: what if there's no happiness for you, like, ever? What if there's no C for you? What if there's no Mich dude? What if there's no Kangar? What if there's no Lase? What if there's no EMiNA? Do you like it? Do people around you like it? Look above; See that ayam golek and muffin? That's for Lase and Pablo. Do you think they will be happy if you go fuckin' brooding all the time? Will you look at C? Do you think she's okay with you not happy? Do you care for her so much, you'd rather be brooding? Do you think she'd like it?

To keep it simple, dude: don't use that anti-happy crap. That's bullshit, fresh. If there's something happy, you celebrate it. Not limit it. If the happiness warrants that you share it, then you share it Blog it up here for Lase, Pablo and Ibanez to share that happiness. There's also C, if you still remember her. Go to her and smile. Say that you're happy. Share with her. She'd appreciate it and she'll also be happy to know that you're happy. Got it? Good.

Now that's settled, let's leave him writhing in the corner and realize the error of his ways. Let's move on to greener pastures.

PS: I've been reading Preacher. That's where my "colorful" vocabulary gets their refresher course. As our resident comicbook aficionado would say, "at least it's not Hellblazer."

Empty can makes the most sound

2005-05-05T01:38:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Michael Buble - Home.

There will be a point during the holidays where I have absolutely nothing to talk about, and that'll leave the blog empty and getting the cobwebs. Need I mention how my cranium looks like? Just add more cobwebs, maybe some angker atmosphere. Spiders, you can't forget spiders.

Oh yeah, congrats to Lase because: 1) She starts her training or 2) her streamyx gone kaput for the whole weekend. Okay la, condolonces for the kaput. Gameplay shmameplay, you're a working girl now. Act like one :p.

Haven't touched any games yet. Uh, yeah.

Good god, it's so boring out here. Without you people making noise, it's just another desert town. But then again, when you people make noise, you all annoy me as hell.

This ain't LiveJournal

2005-05-03T21:46:00.000+08:00

Mood: akward.
Listening to: songs of my younger days.

I'm not gonna weh-weh right here. It's not the right f'n avenue. Instead, I'll just talk about something else. Consider this another rojak mix.

Oh yeah, if you look down on the blogs about TechTV, you'll notice that I consider Leo Laporte my personal tecnological deity. Now I have a reason to be happy again. I found out that he makes podcasts with Patrick Norton and Kevin Rose again. it's kinda like The Screen savers reunion, without using the TSS name. Just go to Leo's place and find podcast links.

Uh...what else ah.

Oh, things are getting akward. I wish things are back to normal. sigh. C, If you're reading this, I'm sorry.

12 hours

2005-05-02T14:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, my homie and I attended a kenduri in Kedah. Sounds simple, eh? On the contrary, it was actually quite fun. Of course, my homie and I share the same passion, that is for travelling.

We left Kangar at around 9am in his CRV. We pit-stopped at a nasi kandar outlet halfway on the road to Alor Star. We reached Alor Star after 10. We then proceeded to Langgar, which is at the outskirts of Alor Star (and quite semi-rural, I might add) to pick up my homie's lady friend. They were college-mates in the early days and this wedding was their lecturer's wedding. After that off we went to Sg.Petani through the highway.

There we picked up another lady friend and college mate, and we also waited for two other of their college mates (boys, this time) who came by motorcycle, from USM in Penang. After they all reached the rendezvous point, we went to the Sg.Petani's lady friend's house for another pitstop. She hadn't changed to the proper kenduri attire yet. The house was at Laguna Merbok Township. I have to say that houses in Sg.Petani are very nice. Along with their pricetags too,

After that we are off to the location of the kenduri in Kota Kuala Muda. it was a 30-minute drive following the old trunk road. Along the way, we were greeted by green paddy fields that stretches as far as the eye can see. Very very beautiful. The whole place was picturesque and I even wanted to buy a piece of land here. The road leading to the kenduri house winds across the paddy fields. We even saw storks lounging in the fields.

If you'd remember the 26th December Tsunami, you'd remember that one of worst-hit places in Malaysia was in Kota Kuala Muda. We got a reality check as we saw damaged houses, torn-down brick walls, houses that are half-standing, cement staircases that was a marker of a house that once stood there. It was an eye-opener to see the wanton destruction of the tsunami with our very own eyes.

But that was more than four months ago. Now, life returns to this coastal village. It was all color and excitement at kenduri place. As usual, the fun and the noise and the smell that defines the kenduri atmosphere were all there. And of course, the food too. We greeted the groom's father (the groom was their lecturer, and this was the groom's house) and we were ushered into the house. Usually, a guest was supposed to eat at the canopy in front of the house, but as the tables at the canopy were full, we were lead to the back of the house. Apparently, this was the best seat in the house. The veranda was facing the sea, and we got the sea breeze head on. And we also guessed that the veranda was rebuilt, judging from the fresh paint and new window sills.

We were a bit unlucky that the bride and groom were a bit late. So we just sat at the veranda and ate kenduri food. My homie and I noted that this was the first time in a long time that we had real authentic kenduri food. As far as we could remember, Kenduris in Kangar usually mean catering service. Catering service is easier in terms of manpower, costs, and cleanup. But real kenduri food means foods cooked by the neighbors in big kawahs. The real meat of kenduri food is not the food at all, but the spirit of camaraderie between the people.

So there we were, sitting on the floor, waiting for the bride and goorm to arrive. There was this makcik sitting there too. All of us engaged in conversation with the makcik. Apparently, the makcik was a tsunami survivor. Her house was just a stone's throw away form the kenduri house. She said her house suffered only minor damage, a broken door and broken windows. She said on the day it happened, there was also a kenduri happening. If you see the footage of cars stacking in Kota Kuala Muda, that was the kenduri patron's cars. She said black sludge covered the area. She said the waves come in three times. She said the waves were really as tall as the coconut trees.

It was interesting to listen to a first-hand experience from the makcik. I could only imagine the damage the waves did to the place, judging from the rubble.

After a while, the bride and groom finally came. Chaos ensued. All fun.

After we said our goodbyes, we spend some time at the beach to take some photos. After that, it's off to Merdeka Beach. We haven't been to the beach in a long time (as for me, I've never been there before). We spent some time taking up the breeze. After that, we went back to Sg.Petani to drop off one of the girls. Then we head back to Alor Star, but this time we took the old trunk road. It's been a long time since I've been on this road, so it was kinda fun. The traffic sucks, though. We got stuck once or twice because of accidents and such. But it was beautiful scenery along the way. Green paddy fields, and Gunung Jerai looming right beside me.

We dropped off the last girl at her home just as sky is turning black. Then we headed out of Alor Star. Finally we stopped at the nasi kandar place we stopped earlier in the morning for dinner. we drove back home and arrived at kangar at around 9pm.

Exactly 12 hours.

"What is this crap on my TV?" (part 3)

2005-05-01T01:18:00.000+08:00

One thing G4 didn't took into consideration is viewer loyalty. TechTV viewers are a bunch of techheads (yours truly included) but they had to replace highly rated shows with crappy ones. The loyal fans are understandably outraged. They also walk away from the channel. Viewership goes down. Guess where G4 is now? Square One.

The question remains, why the hell should G4 buy another channel? Of course, the real reason was for them to buy the audience of the original channel. I wonder what was their reasoning.. Tech fans equals games fans? Yeah! Let's buy off TechTV! You have to remember, TechTV only had one games show, xPlay. The rest are tech stuff, geek stuff. Oh, also, tech stuff doesn't mean the tech virgin can't watch the channel. They can learn from it. Call For Help is a vey informative show, and can teach a thing or two.

Which brings me to a new viewpoint: that TechTV is good because it's a learning channel. G4 has nothing on the learning bit. Name one show G4 has that can teach the viewers. Icons? History of gaming. That's all there is to it. The Screen Savers has better stuff. Call For Help is great. Heck, there's also Spy Game and all other informative shows. That's the keyword: informative.

Here's what G4 should do. They should improve their shows. Improve their presenters. Improve their content. A small step can mean increased viewership. They should look into themselves first, instead of armwrestling another channel.

With the demise of a good technology channel, the world faces a dearth of a technology-centric tv show. Of course TV stations nowadays are struggling to create more tech-savvy shows for viewers, but what channel has its focus entirely on technology? What channel daring to do that? TechTV.

THE END.

Hell, this sounds more like an eulogy in the obituary than an angker story. Sorry for being a bit biased. For the record, I love TechTV so much, and I guess I let out my feelings in here. The channel has taught me so much.

I still remember the days I spent longing in MMU's student hall watching TechTV at uncommon times, because the people who watch the TV over there are sports fans. The memories of those times are precious to me. Those memories are a part of my MMU memory.

I'm sorry for making the blog entry into a walk down memory lane. It was supposed to be an angker story and an info-blog for Pablo.

@Ibanez: Of course TechTV is not l33t enough. Of course they don't show tech-heavy stuff on the channel. TechTV's main objective is to close the gap of the digital divide, and they've done a helluva job. L33t people are already on the other side of the digital divide. It's the people on the far side of the divide that's important. And it's important to close the gap. And TechTV did just that.

i've crapped so much, you guys are probably already dead out of boredom. I'll leave you guys now.

"What is this crap on my TV?" (part 2)

2005-05-01T01:11:00.000+08:00

G4 is a channel that is all about gaming. 'Nuff said. Oh, suffice to say, the channel sucks. Although the content caters to the gaming community, the show itself sucks. Especially the presenters.

And then came the decision to by TechTV. With the buyout, the TechTV staff are forced to move to Los Angeles from their TechTV studios in San Francisco.

Slowly but surely, the TechTV lineup was replaced by G4's. The worst goodbye for me was that they killed Call For Help. As time passes, so does other shows. The only reason xPlay stuck for so long was because it was a gaming show.

If we compare ratings between TechTV and G4, the former has better ratings as the channel caters to technology buffs. Although the channel doesn't showcase hardcore technology, but at least it opens the eyes of the public of the impact of technology in everyday life and getting people to get comfortable with technology.

The two best shows on TechTV was Call For Help and The Screen Savers. Call Help was a show where they take in calls from people around America and try to help them in their Pc-related problems and questions. It was a very fun show show to watch and it is really helpful. The Screen Savers is like a magazine show which showcases tech news, gadgets, and stuff.

These two shows has one personality in common: Leo Laporte He is my personal technological deity. At the time of G4's buyout, he already decided to get out of TechTV. He now works in other radio and TV shows. Other personalities include Patrick Norton, Kevin Rose and of course, Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb.

Methinks G4 bought TechTV becaue they have the money and lacks the audience. Their show sucks, so does their presenters. TechTV has the audience as it caters to the tech community. As for G4...Err, yeah. So how to gain audience easily? Buy out a successful yet fledgling TV station, that's how. So in comes G4TechTV. A channel for tech, games and more games?

So there they were, G4TechTV. The Screen Savers alongside crappy shows. Struggle they did. Personalities walked away from crappy contracts. As for G4, they slowly fade the TechTV shows and replaced with their own shows. And Yes, xPlay is still there. Tech is slowly fading, games are in. Audience still tunes in. Or do they?

TO BE CONTINUED...

"What is this crap on my TV?"

2005-04-30T14:01:00.000+08:00

First off, @Pablo: I hope you get better soon. Don't forget to makan ubat. And rehat. Don't let me sic my Sugar Pie on you. Oops, sorry, already did. Have she called you yet?

Well, to answer Pab's question: Why Filter, not xPlay? The hard truth isn't just limited to that one crappy show, it's actually about the whole channel itself. It's a very angker story, so get ready to hide behind the popcorn box.

If you remember your astro, you'd remember channel 13 was called TechTV. The actual channel was very fun and informative, a good channel. As the name of the channel implies, it caters to technology. It shows programs that are about technology, gadgets, and of course, games. Even their website is very good and informative.

Looking at archive.org's dates, the horror probably started around July 2003 (whoa, didn't realise it was that far back). The real story was that, G4 was looking into acquring TechTV. But first, what the fuck is this G4?

TO BE CONTINUED....

After you're at the top...

2005-04-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

...the only way left is down. Hard.

Well, it's not that bad la. It's as simple as my own phone goes kaput as soon as I "threaten" for a new phone and simcard.

Grr.. I called my sugar pie to weh-weh about it, and she laughed about it! Apparently, this is was considered as 'funny'.

At least it was a reason to call her... :p

Oh, the room is still a dragon's nest. No hope of survivors. The nation is mourning for the great loss.